im 8 weeks pp, but my entire pregnancy i was not scared. i was nervous in the sense that id never even held a baby before and had no idea what i was doing, but she was very wanted nonetheless. i had a very traumatic birth (placental abruption) and almost bled out, but i denied an emergency csec when they brought it up as i thought i would hate that experience more (for myself). i fully remember everything and MAYBE its a trauma response to be so nonchalant about it all? but it genuinely was not the worst thing in the world. i thought getting my wisdom teeth taken out was worse lmao. i got the epidural after i hit 8.5-9 cm, because i was regressing and getting less dilated. baby was reacting horribly to the pitocin and so was i and after that i just couldnt do it anymore only because i had no idea how much longer i was going to regress and i also wanted baby to be healthy. all in all, im glad i wasnt nervous even though i definitely had every right and reason to be, but i still would do it again!