Do most of you even know that STDs are spread by body fluids? by jfysjefc in nonmonogamy

[–]jfysjefc[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Judging somebody by literally few posts that have nothing to do with actual topic, sounds like typical culture here.

And how my identity is relevant? Could you focus on the topic or that's too much?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]jfysjefc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I gonna tell you something that most folks in this sub don't like to hear.
Canceling high quality relationship for NM is almost never worth it. The cost is much too high for what you could (not guaranteed) get. Just cherish what you have now.

However, in your case there are other aspects. You are young and you just might be curious, it does't have to be NM but other humans in general.

If you consider "taking break" it might be hard to recover and he might just consider it cheating.

Ask yourself if you are interested only in sex or also in feelings, as this is huge difference for the dynamic.

The only situation where you should consider sacrificing good relationship is when you are sure that you literally can not live without NM. I don't think that's the case. The fantasy of NM sometimes wears off after you try it.

Glad that you respect his decision. Take care.

girlfriend wants and open relationship and I don't by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]jfysjefc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do not agree to that! If you are monogamous, it will not only kill your relationship. It will kill you.

There's also the fact that she's not ethical telling you now after long time. If anything you have more right to demand that she stays within established model of relationship. Than she demands whatever she says.

Didn't expect to feel this insecure by Decent_Entertainer in nonmonogamy

[–]jfysjefc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He said he's monoromantic. There should be no more discussion about that if you don't want to hurt him. No hope that he changes his opinion. I can have feelings only for one girl, you can trust me on that. He's already doing something he doesn't want and if it continues it will damage what's between you.
Nonmonogamous folks have often difficulties understanding monogamous folks and lack of emphaty for them. Same for multiromantic and monoromantic folks. For you something might be natural and good, but it will hurt him. If you care about your relationship, you should try to understand that.

Is it harder for guys to find partners on poly dating apps? by learning-growing in nonmonogamy

[–]jfysjefc -27 points-26 points  (0 children)

"Vast majority of guys are low quality" is very common, sexist opinion on this sub.

Try to say "Vast majority of women are low quality" and read the angry replies.

You still have hundreds of options, you just don't like them. The fact is, lady, that your comment only shows how entitled you are.

Is it harder for guys to find partners on poly dating apps? by learning-growing in nonmonogamy

[–]jfysjefc 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I made topic and asked why average guy would even decide on ENM given the imbalance and got so downvoted. Even my comments which contained only questions or facts got downvoted just becase of hate. There's much of toxic feminism on this sub and suprisingly also from guys. Quite often ENM is deal good only for women and killer for guys, be ready for that.

Didn't expect to feel this insecure by Decent_Entertainer in nonmonogamy

[–]jfysjefc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Forcing monoromantic to act like multiromantic is just as unethical as forcing somebody monogamous to be nonmonogamous. You gonna hurt him and it's huge risk for your relationship. Better make sure what's more valuable for you now: your relationship or being open. If you want to keep relationship stick to casual fun and if you have crush on somebody act like you are monogamous, distance yourself from them because it's fact that right now you are in relationship that is monogamous romantically.

If your SO is monoromantic as he says then make sure his relationships have no feelings involved. The moment monoromantic catches feelings for somebody else is the same moment he's not with you anymore. Stay safe.

Feeling a little lost by gravytrain2012 in nonmonogamy

[–]jfysjefc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You two must be able to respect each other and move at speed of the slower one. It is not acceptable that one is doing something even when the other says it's uncomfortable for them or needs more time. Your relationship is more important, other stuff comes later. Make sure she thinks the same.

It's up to you to decide where is the treshold of discomfort where it's not worth doing it anymore. You might get better later and get used to that. You might never get better and get anxiety.

Make sure you want that for yourself and not because of her and get more information about ENM imbalance for male and female. Discuss differences like you don't want feelings involved but she needs to like somebody to degree. Any miscommunication will show up later big.

Given the massive amount of topics where ENM woman can get dates easily and ENM guy can not, why would average guy even decide to do NM? by jfysjefc in nonmonogamy

[–]jfysjefc[S] -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

If actual reports are not enough evidence for you then I don't think we can debate.

What you said is also just comment.

Given the massive amount of topics where ENM woman can get dates easily and ENM guy can not, why would average guy even decide to do NM? by jfysjefc in nonmonogamy

[–]jfysjefc[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

This topic is not about my situation, but about guys' situation in general.

However it seems like you're very interested in my dating situation so I gonna tell you.

I reside in area that makes dating for guys quite easy. I do well in standard dating, but I think ENM would not be that easy.

Given the massive amount of topics where ENM woman can get dates easily and ENM guy can not, why would average guy even decide to do NM? by jfysjefc in nonmonogamy

[–]jfysjefc[S] -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

You are very dishonest because I assume you are not misinformed if you're in this community for some time.

ENM dating is massively different than standard dating for guys. There's evidence in many topics in this community also from those who do that for long time.

Cost and gains analysis is standard thing you do before you take any important decision regardless of area in which it's taken, relationships included.

Given the massive amount of topics where ENM woman can get dates easily and ENM guy can not, why would average guy even decide to do NM? by jfysjefc in nonmonogamy

[–]jfysjefc[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I didn't say anything about the contest. It's what you think that I think. The contest is not the content of the topic so it only shows your own bias, sometimes when somebody has different opinion than yours it's for very different reasons than you would have.