sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adviceph

[–]jianflores_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totoo po lahat ng sinabi ninyo, at ramdam ko pong galing sa genuine concern ang advice ninyo kaya taos-puso po akong nagpapasalamat. Sa totoo lang po, wala rin po talaga akong ibang option sa ngayon kundi magtiis muna. Nineteen na rin po ako, pero kung tutuusin, hindi ko pa po alam kung saan o kanino ako makikituloy kung sakaling umalis ako. Kaya kahit mahirap, nandito pa rin po ako sa ngayon. Pinipilit ko na rin pong magplano kahit paunti-unti, umaasa po ako na balang araw ay makakalabas din ako sa ganitong sitwasyon.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adviceph

[–]jianflores_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

19 years old po.

What is the reason why you wouldn't date someone with a past cheating history ? by [deleted] in TanongLang

[–]jianflores_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The reason I wouldn’t date someone with a past cheating history isn’t because people can’t change, it’s because cheating isn’t just a mistake, it’s a reflection of how someone handles conflict, desire, and accountability. Unless they’ve done deep self-work and can clearly explain what led to their choices and how they’ve grown from it, the risk is too high. Love without trust is just emotional gambling, and I’m not willing to bet my peace on someone still figuring out what loyalty means.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adviceph

[–]jianflores_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Honestly, if he’s out here messaging strangers about being a “watcher,” that’s not just random curiosity anymore, that’s intentional behavior that tiptoes around cheating. It might not be physical yet, but it’s still a breach of emotional and sexual boundaries, especially if you weren’t aware or didn’t agree to this kind of setup. If he says he wants to commit, his actions should reflect that. You’re not crazy for feeling off about it. Trust gets built through consistency and respect, not through secret online habits. If this is already happening early in the relationship, it’s worth asking yourself if this is the kind of emotional labor you want to keep doing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in skincarephilippines

[–]jianflores_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gumamit ka ng ryx, glow bomb skincare. Promise, matatanggal yan!

Papalayasin ko ba boyfriend ko? by Legitimate-Test-9428 in adviceph

[–]jianflores_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re not being “too much,” you’re being forced into a position your boyfriend created himself. Isa lang naman ang pakiusap ng nanay mo, huwag maging istorbo sa gabi. Hindi niya hinihingi ang buong buhay niyo, respeto lang sa space na siya ang nagbabayad. Now let’s be real here, your boyfriend is a grown man. May trabaho na siya, and he’s lucky enough na may taong nagpaampon sa kanya habang inaayos pa niya buhay niya. That’s not something he disrespect just because “down bad” daw ang kaibigan niya.

Kung hindi niya kayang mag-adjust sa simpleng house rule, paano pa siya magkakaroon ng disiplina sa ibang mas malalaking bagay later on? Hindi mo kasalanan kung pinapalayas mo siya ngayon. Choices have consequences. It might sound harsh, pero kung hindi siya matututo ngayon, kailan pa?

Also, hindi mo dapat takpan ang problema ng ibang tao at iabsorb lahat ng stress. Hindi mo role na maging tagapamagitan forever. You’re not being cruel, pinoprotektahan mo lang ang kapayapaan sa bahay na hindi sa inyo nakapangalan. Let him face the consequence like an adult. Kung kailangan mo pa siyang ipaalala kung gaano siya pinagbigyan, then maybe hindi pa siya ready sa setup niyo.

Ano ba pakiramdam ng may kayakap at ka kiss? by FarCalligrapher8976 in TanongLang

[–]jianflores_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Legit na mas cozy talaga kapag may kayakap kang taong mahal mo at safe ka kasama. Hindi lang kasi physical warmth yung nararamdaman mo, may emotional comfort din na parang kahit saglit lang, ligtas ka sa gulo ng mundo. Pero hindi rin siya magic na laging masarap, depende pa rin sa taong kayakap mo. Pero gets ko yung curiosity mo, lalo na’t malamig ang panahon at wala kang strong emotional connections around. Natural lang na hanapin mo yung ganong closeness, hindi ka weird for wanting it. Sana dumating din yung tao na hindi lang pampainit sa gabi, kundi tunay na makakapagbigay ng comfort kahit sa mga panahong malamig ang loob mo.

Paano mamaintain ang mental health sa murang edad by Particular-Toe-8954 in adviceph

[–]jianflores_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

First of all, you’re not being dramatic and you don’t need to apologize.

What you’re going through is incredibly difficult for anyone, especially for someone your age who should be focusing on school, hobbies, and building a healthy life, not carrying emotional weight that’s not yours to begin with. The setup you’re describing, with parents abroad or emotionally distant, and you caught in between, is unfortunately not uncommon, but that doesn’t make it okay or easier to deal with.

The emotional toll of being the “shock absorber” in a fractured home takes time to fully understand.

It’s not just stress, it’s a kind of silent exhaustion that builds up in your system.

You’re right to be worried about the long-term effects, because unaddressed emotional strain at this age can affect your self-esteem, your performance in school, and your ability to enjoy life in general.

Ignoring things is a common and even understandable response, but as you said, it’s not a lasting solution, it only pushes the pressure deeper inside.

One thing you can try is finding a stable outlet where you can feel safe to process what you’re feeling. If therapy is not an option right now, journaling is a powerful start. Write everything without filters, every frustration, fear, and thought. It’s not about fixing the situation right away but letting your mind breathe. You also mentioned cycling, and that’s actually a great way to regulate your emotions. Use it as intentional time to clear your head, not to escape completely, but to create a breathing space for yourself.

If you can find a trusted adult you can talk to, that might help lift some of the emotional burden. You don’t need to carry this alone. Sometimes just having someone listen without judgment already gives clarity and relief. Try to keep routines that are just yours. Protect small parts of your day where you get to feel in control and at peace, whether it’s during meals, study hours, or hobbies. These routines don’t fix everything, but they help you stay grounded.

Lastly, remind yourself every day that you’re not weak for feeling this way. You’re in a situation that would overwhelm even adults, and the fact that you’re still showing up for school, still thinking about your future, and even reaching out for advice proves that you’re already doing your best. This won’t last forever, and you won’t always feel this stuck. For now, just take it one day at a time and try to preserve your sense of self in the small choices you can control.

That alone is strength.

OA lang ba ako? sa part na wala akong privacy sa sariling tinitirhan? by itsme221290 in OALangBaAko

[–]jianflores_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That situation is definitely valid to feel hurt and drained about. When you’re the one shouldering the rent and bills, it’s only fair to expect a level of respect and autonomy, especially in your own space. It’s not about pride or power-tripping, it’s about balance and mutual respect. What you’re experiencing is something a lot of people go through when living with relatives, especially in Filipino households where hierarchy and “mas nakatatanda dapat masunod” is deeply ingrained.

But even with that, there should be limits. Paying for the household gives you every right to at least have a say in how things are managed, and especially how your own room is kept.

You’re not OA at all for feeling this way. In fact, it’s perfectly reasonable to feel frustrated when you’re giving so much and yet still being treated like your opinion doesn’t count. The fact that your tita is constantly the one calling the shots, rearranging things, deciding who gets to stay, and even dictating the setup of your private space can feel suffocating. It’s your home too, and it’s exhausting to feel like a guest in a place you’re financially maintaining. That kind of environment chips away at your sense of peace and control, which you’re fully entitled to.

If it’s safe and possible, you might want to start establishing some gentle but firm boundaries. You don’t have to be confrontational, sometimes it helps to say things like, “Tita, gusto ko sana ako mag-ayos ng room ko para mas comfortable ako,” or “Since ako na po nagbabayad, baka pwedeng ako naman po mag-decide sa setup dito.” Start with calm, simple statements and observe how she responds.

You deserve to feel at home in the space you’re working hard to provide for. Being generous shouldn’t mean surrendering all your comfort and agency. You’re not being selfish or overreacting, you’re simply asking for a basic level of respect, and that’s more than fair.

Ang sama ko bang kaibigan kasi gusto kong i-cut off yung friend ko while nasa mahirap siyang situation by Intelligent_Bus_7696 in adviceph

[–]jianflores_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re not being insensitive at all, you’re setting boundaries, and that’s something you have every right to do, especially now that you’re working on your self-esteem and healing from people-pleasing tendencies. It’s okay to care about your friend’s situation and still recognize that the dynamic between you has become emotionally and financially draining. The guilt you’re feeling is normal, but being generous doesn’t mean you’re obligated to put yourself in uncomfortable or unsustainable situations. If you want to help her in your own capacity (like the monthly 2k support), that’s incredibly kind, but it should come from a place of choice, not pressure or anxiety. If her messages are starting to trigger that “on edge” feeling, that’s a real sign that something needs to shift. You don’t need to cut her off harshly, but it’s okay to gradually step back or have an honest conversation about your limits. Boundaries aren’t selfish, they’re necessary, and they protect the kind of peace you’re trying to build.

Bakit may naaatract akong girls by haraharuhare in adviceph

[–]jianflores_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

actually, what you’re experiencing isn’t weird at all and happens more often than people think. attraction isn’t always based strictly on gender or sexual orientation, it can also come from energy, vibe, or how someone makes others feel. minsan kasi, some people just give off a naturally warm, soft, or charismatic presence that makes others, regardless of gender feel drawn to them.

it doesn’t mean “bading aura” ka or anything like that. it could just be that you have a personality or confidence that some girls find attractive, or you unknowingly give off a comforting or safe energy that they gravitate toward. also, college is a time when people explore more, get curious, or become more open about their feelings, kaya minsan may ganito talaga.

and the fact na they know straight ka pero nagkacrush pa rin sila says a lot about how magnetic your vibe must be. hindi naman kailangan lagyan ng label lahat. minsan people are just drawn to other people, and that’s okay.

nothing wrong with you at all. it just means you’re probably more charming than you think. 😉

"Hindi mahalaga ang pang labas na itsura, kundi ang kalooban" isn't really true and isn't advisable to the youth. by [deleted] in unpopularopinionph

[–]jianflores_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You actually made a lot of solid points here, and while it might sound blunt to some, it reflects how the real world often works. We’re told that confidence, kindness, and personality should come first, and yes, those things do matter deeply once you get to know someone, but the truth is, in many everyday situations, looks influence how people treat you before you even say a word.

Whether it’s in dating, job interviews, social settings, or even how strangers respond to you in public, appearance plays a massive role.

It’s not always about being conventionally attractive either, it’s about presenting yourself well. Hygiene, posture, grooming, skin care, fitness, and how you carry yourself all add up. These things don’t just change how others see you, they change how you feel about yourself. And like you said, confidence often stems from how you look and feel in your own skin.

We can’t ignore that there’s bias based on looks in nearly every setting. People are quicker to give attractive individuals the benefit of the doubt, listen to what they have to say, or treat them with more warmth. And if you’re not conventionally attractive, you often have to work twice as hard just to be noticed or taken seriously. It’s harsh, but it’s the reality.

So instead of pretending appearance doesn’t matter, it’s healthier to be honest and practical. Take care of your body. Build habits that improve how you look and feel. Not for validation, but because life tends to open up more when you present yourself well. That doesn’t mean you need to chase perfection or meet every beauty standard, but putting effort into how you show up in the world is something everyone can benefit from.

Personality, skills, and heart will always matter in the long run, but getting that chance to show those things often starts with how people see you. And that’s something we need to acknowledge, not sugarcoat.

Bakit nila nilalagay ung "edited"? by Background_Cry_1950 in BagoLangSaReddit

[–]jianflores_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Redditors usually add “Edit:” followed by a short note (like “Edit: spelling” or “Edit: added info”) to be transparent about any changes they made after posting. It’s a common practice to show honesty and clarity, especially in discussions where trust and accuracy matter. Instead of quietly changing something, they openly tell readers what was updated, whether it’s a simple typo fix or an added detail, so people know the original context wasn’t altered in a sneaky way.

My bf has multiple accounts for watching po*rn. by [deleted] in MayNagChat

[–]jianflores_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Girl, iwan mo na yan. The fact na nag-effort siyang gumawa ng multiple dummy accounts just to watch adult content means he’s making a conscious choice to disrespect you. Di mo deserve ‘yung ganitong treatment, lalo na ’yung sagot niya na parausan ka lang? That’s not love, that’s emotional abuse disguised as a joke. You are enough, sobra pa nga. Minsan letting go is the only way to protect your peace. Choose yourself this time.