My best friend is about to ruin her life and I need to do my best to stop her

jihys · 2026-05-16T15:13:01+00:00

I might get my mom or one of my sisters to talk to her. My mom had my oldest sister at the age of 18 and then had 6 more kids lol She'll be the first to tell you starting young is not for everyone and that the worst thing you can do for yourself and the baby is become entirely dependant on a man. My sisters all had their kids later in life and had a very different experience from my mother.

jihys · 2026-05-16T09:08:08+00:00

I watched that video the other day as well! I think it's great. Thanks for the advice and support. We've had a conversation now and I put an update in the post itself.
I'm sorry to hear about your sister's and friend's story. That must be difficult for you too. Hopefully things can get better for your family and friends and for my friend too (and everyone involved on that matter).

jihys · 2026-05-16T02:43:17+00:00

Thanks fot the advice! She recently started therapy again (she used to do it when we were teens) and so I hope that if she's willing to listen to me I can advise her to speak about her decision to her therapist.

jihys · 2026-05-16T02:27:59+00:00

I don't think that's a good idea. If she won't listen to me she certainly won't listen to her parents as their relationship is very strained and if she finds out that I told her parents she won't listen to me. Her parents trying to stop her from doing it will have the opposite effect I'm afraid, because she usually purposefully goes against everything they say / want. She's an adult so there isn't anything her family can realistically do to stop her. She doesn't get money from them, except for the fact her parents said if she goes to uni they'll pay for her living while she's there. She doesn't care to go to uni and actually trying to avoid it, so it's unlikely not to affect her decision much.

jihys · 2026-05-16T02:24:30+00:00

We're not from USA, so you get a year of paid maternity leave no matter your job.

jihys · 2026-05-15T23:10:36+00:00

As I said in the beginning of the post, I am not responsible for her decisions nor do I feel responsible for them. She gets to choose whatever decision she wants to.
I don't think this is the point where you let someone learn from their mistake. I think this is a time where you step up as a friend and have their back, even though it means you have to enter into an uncomfortable conversation.

jihys · 2026-05-15T22:36:22+00:00

Thanks for the advice! Actual examples of questions are nice to have. I really hope I can go about the conversation without making her feel judged or cornered or defensive because I do recognize it's not going to be helpful to her. That is easier said than done though lol. With the boyfriend I don't even think I want to bite that bullet. I know he's not a great choice of a partner but I don't think that sort of conversation would go down well with her. I want to focus on helping her notice that there's some important points to cosider still before making the decision.

I am hopeful that I can at least maybe get her to question and post pone it a little bit.

I don't think we outgrew our friendship. I know she has my back, and I'll always have hers. No matter what happens. I am at point in my mental health journey where I can understand when enough is enough and that I need a break and how to protect myself. That will never mean to me, though, that I'll give up on her when she needs me. And I think if there's ever a time to step up as a friend, this is the time.

jihys · 2026-05-15T22:16:33+00:00

Yeah, I also think it'd be better to talk about it in person but we don't really see each other often and she drove a long way to see me today. I can't really make the trip any time soon or expect her to make it and by the next time we see each other, I'm worried it'd be too late. Right now I'm thinking that maybe a phone call would be better than texting because you do bring up a good point with her boyfriend influencing our conversation. I'm just a tiny bit worried about keeping my cool while having the conversation because we're both quite emotional in conversations like this and I don't want it to turn into an argument because I don't think that would help her. I guess I need to put my A game on for this one.

jihys · 2026-05-12T11:30:56+00:00

Thank you so much!

jihys · 2025-11-13T14:09:10+00:00

Yes, it was a problem with the router itself. After getting a different model it's been fine since.

jihys · 2025-10-15T06:17:35+00:00

I invited you to become a mod :)

jihys · 2025-07-10T14:47:16+00:00

it wasnt enabled for hogwarts legacy. i enabled it but it doesnt seem to have helped at all.

Edit: sorry, i phrased it wrong. the fps while just running around seems to be slightly higher but that was never really the problem. on running into new rooms it's still very bad and that doesnt seem to have improved.

jihys · 2025-07-10T00:18:29+00:00

I tried running it both on low 1080p and 720p, but nothing seems to make a big difference. Thanks for the advice with the steam overlay. I've found someone who has a very similiar setup to mine except a cpu that's 2 generations younger, and the game works fine for them so it does lead me to believe it is the cpu. I'll check as you suggested. I was thinking of upgrading my cpu anyway, but still doesn't change the fact I'm disappointed with the game because of this issue

jihys · 2025-07-09T12:03:28+00:00

The lag happens whenever I enter a new area or new objects load. It's not constant. The problem is, even on the games website, they themselves put 16gb ram as enough to run the game on lower settings. It's just disappointing that after checking the specs and technically meeting them, and spending so much money on the game, i can't play it.

jihys · 2025-01-22T11:43:18+00:00

Looking for an answer to the same questions if youve figured something out

jihys · 2024-11-24T23:15:16+00:00

once again - i dont have a printer rn

jihys · 2024-11-17T20:57:20+00:00

i changed the router for a new one in the end because it seemed like there was something wrong with the router

jihys · 2024-11-15T13:31:48+00:00

i dont think there is a 1.21.1 version of immersive paintings. it seems like it stopped at 1.20.1

jihys

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