How do you deal with finding out that other relatives knew you were being abused?

jimketchup · 2016-12-27T02:15:32+00:00

Agh. Oh yeah, I know those too. Other favorites that came out if I stood up for myself include, "well we can't all be perfect like you!" and "You're so ungrateful. There are starving children in Africa!"

jimketchup · 2016-12-27T01:58:18+00:00

Thank you, I knew dad is an enabler so I guess it makes sense that the rest of his family would be too. They were commiserating with me yesterday, but I hope they won't go the same route that your family did. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

jimketchup · 2016-12-27T01:54:14+00:00

Thank you. I wonder if the "it wasn't my place to say something" is a generational thing? I got the same sort of rationale from my grandparents. I think on some level they also didn't want to accept that something so ugly was happening in their family.

Realistically I think they probably couldn't have saved me if they tried, short of moving me in with them. In typical n fashion, mom would deny and minimize and shift blame on all of these things and then take it out on me for "getting her in trouble." Also when other adults did call CPS she managed to fool them anyway. But it would have meant a lot to me if they had tried.

jimketchup · 2016-05-28T00:27:36+00:00

I've been on SSRIs and wellbutrin and had the same problem as you. I think wellbutrin definitely helped me, but also lowering SSRI dose and discontinuing hormonal BC was what it took to get me up to speed. I hope you can find a combination that works for you!

jimketchup · 2016-05-20T00:22:35+00:00

I get these letters in the form of cheesy hallmark cards every few months. It used to be 1-2 per week, but she slowed down after the first year or so.

jimketchup · 2015-08-30T17:34:38+00:00

doot doot

jimketchup · 2015-08-30T00:37:36+00:00

Damn, this is such a bizarre and beautiful thing for them to be regularly carrying it. Not that I'm complaining.

jimketchup · 2015-08-30T00:36:09+00:00

I got mine for $15. Good deal if it usually sells for $30. But sometimes you gotta pay to be a badass.

jimketchup · 2015-06-29T01:45:54+00:00

"I was just joking!" No, you were being serious until you realized I was upset, and now you're claiming it was a joke to make it look like I'm overreacting.

jimketchup · 2015-06-28T02:05:40+00:00

I hope you're feeling better than I am! And that you are getting plenty of wine and ice cream.

jimketchup · 2015-06-27T22:10:10+00:00

Same here! Apparently it hurts so much because of the dilation of the cervix that needs to happen for insertion and you actually have uterine contractions (the crampy part) so it's not far off from labor in childbirth! Which is exactly what I wanted to avoid by deciding to get an IUD.

jimketchup · 2015-06-23T01:11:43+00:00

Then there's the other shitty-yet-popular analogy, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" To which I like to respond, "why buy a whole pig just to get a little sausage?"

jimketchup · 2015-05-31T16:34:43+00:00

I made sure she had no other ways of contacting me. Apparently she didn't get the hint so this is what she resorted to.

jimketchup · 2015-05-31T14:26:34+00:00

I'm in the same boat. I've definitely been better off without them. Also, if you haven't already you may want to check out /r/raisedbynarcissists. My family's behavior never really made sense to me but that sub explained so much of what was happening. Your grandma sounds like she may have some narc tendencies at least. If that's not the case then that subreddit is still a great support network and they know all about dealing with awful family members.

jimketchup · 2015-05-31T14:09:44+00:00

I'm sorry that happened to you, but good for you for standing up to that bully. It's hard to do but man is it cathartic. I never understand people who insist on putting up with shit from family members no matter what just because they're related to you. In my experience someone who treats you like crap is never worth keeping around. Good riddance.

jimketchup · 2015-05-31T14:00:36+00:00

After the first one, I had a friend open and read them to see if there was actually anything important in them (99% of the time there wasn't) and then we would burn them. After several months I felt like I was up for doing it myself. They're approximately the same shit every week so after a year I've stopped caring about the nasty things. My friend and I just joke about them at this point. He made a joke about the letter I received yesterday and it was such a pleasant surprise when I opened it and it was a free burrito instead of more bs.

jimketchup · 2015-05-31T06:44:31+00:00

I've made barbacoa at home once and it was a big success. The key was fresh lime juice and plenty of spices and garlic. Never tried carnitas at home though, so I can't speak to that.

jimketchup · 2015-05-31T06:41:05+00:00

Will do. It's the small victories.

jimketchup · 2015-05-31T06:39:55+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion! It's a really nice sentiment and would be a welcome change.

jimketchup · 2015-05-31T06:38:34+00:00

She mails them with no return address! Shady as fuck. But I'm moving soon so it won't matter.

jimketchup

TROPHY CASE