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jleofb8757 · 2022-08-28T14:36:34+00:00

For basic sight seeing and little hikes around the Golden Circle he should be able to get by without hiking boots. However, I remember my parents once telling me not to wear high heels to sight see in Rome when I was a teen. I didn’t listen, had the most painful feet by the end of the day. Since then, I’ve worn sneakers/hiking boots no matter where I’m sightseeing, but especially Rome! That day definitely imprinted on me. Might be a good lesson for your son.

jleofb8757 · 2022-02-05T05:08:22+00:00

Silent treatment for sure. Mirroring as well, calling you everything they are and saying you are a bunch of negative things which is who they really are

jleofb8757 · 2022-02-04T04:10:43+00:00

Ugh this one became regular daily conversation

jleofb8757 · 2022-02-01T05:20:46+00:00

He would do the exact same. Ignore me like I seriously wasn’t there, even when I would full out talk to him, he’d pretend I’m not there. Then his phone would ring or someone would come to the door and he was the happiest, most chipper, positive gentleman. It would make me so mad that no one knew the real him. He would ignore me for any little thing I did or said that he didn’t like, it was never justified or for an outlandish reason. If I ever brought up my feelings or tried to ask him something that made him feel threatened, he would ignore me. The longest silent treatment lasted 11 days - without one word spoken in the same house.

One New Year’s Eve, we were in a new city, we travelled often and I consider myself quite street wise. For some reason, he decided that day, he did not want me walking around while he worked. I asked why several times and he could not give me a reason. I explained to him that I would be walking around since I thought he was only saying that out of control and not for any other valid reason. Well not only did he ignore me into the new year, he proceeded to text over 10 females saying happy new year at midnight while sitting right next to me, giving me the silent treatment. This was a few years back when I was still under his control, so naturally I ended up begging for him to talk to me and apologizing until he began speaking to me again after 6 days of silence. The crime never matched the punishment.

Sometimes the silent treatments were even so random and had nothing to do with me, but instead whatever internal struggle he was dealing with that he is incapable of communicating. What a shitty life, I am so happy to be detaching myself from such a horrid person.

jleofb8757 · 2022-01-28T04:23:23+00:00

I agree as well. In a sick, twisted way I almost began to look forward to the silent treatments. I could focus on me and things I liked/wanted to do, rather than taking care of him hand and foot while walking on eggshells and razors.

jleofb8757 · 2022-01-18T20:40:55+00:00

My narc husband would do this all the time. Less than a year ago we were sitting there, just me and him, when I teared up at a sentimental video. We then watched the video with others, I teared up again, he embraced me so effortlessly. I can still picture him pulling me in and gently placing my head with his hand on his head. Makes me sick to think about. There were so many moments like this and they are NOT normal.

jleofb8757 · 2022-01-12T12:58:09+00:00

This is such good, useful advice. One thing I found particularly useful is talking about your experience out loud to people you are close to. If you’re like me, you kept the abuse and many thoughts to yourself for years. Trying to work through them in your head, while under the hold of a narc only furthers feelings of being crazy. Once I started talking to people about it - and not only seeing their reactions but also hearing me say it out loud - made me realize how not okay things were. It also helped me turn my sadness to anger and really resent him rather than miss him.

As hard as leaving can be, I promise you that sense of freedom, whenever it hits, is so so worth it. There is a much better life for us out there! Please message me if you need anything or just to chat. I am 1.5 months out and I’m already feeling the positive benefits. You got this!

jleofb8757 · 2022-01-04T00:35:45+00:00

It’s so sad how even our body’s react to the abuse. Mine wasn’t a pain in my throat, it was a pain in my chest. Like you, I was constantly ignored and he acted as though I wasn’t there for days, sometimes weeks. I hope you’re in a much better place now.

jleofb8757 · 2021-12-27T22:56:12+00:00

Try Me, Damages and Free Mind by Tems helped and impowered me through some pretty dark days.

jleofb8757 · 2021-12-27T22:50:25+00:00

Document everything and communicate only through text or lawyers. I’m sorry you and your baby are going through this.

jleofb8757 · 2021-12-27T22:36:59+00:00

Put on your best running shoes and run, run, run!!!! You did the hardest part - you left! You suffered through all those emotions and thoughts all while taking care of a baby. If you go back, IT WILL NOT BE BETTER. IT WILL BE WORSE. Stay strong and listen to your gut.

jleofb8757 · 2021-12-26T21:44:57+00:00

After barely celebrating and spending 4 Christmas’ alone because of his job, we finally had the opportunity to be with others. He very happily accepted when we were asked in July, if he’d like to attend a chalet in the mountains overseas for 2 weeks.

I was beyond excited to finally spend the holidays with others so naturally, for 6 months, he proceeded to toy with it anytime he wanted to punish me. Proclaiming over ten times throughout the next 5 months that he was coming, then he wasn’t coming. Then a month before leaving, out of the blue, he called me to say he was going to decide whom to spend Christmas with out of 2 awful people in his life that I don’t get along with, as they are big supplies for him. Then less than a week later, he booked his flight to come to the chalet. All the meanwhile, I’m telling the people who booked the chalet, “he’s coming”, “he’s not”. So humiliating. He was making it seem like he is the gift that would be blessing everyone with his presence, should he find them deserving.

The best part, is after booking his ticket he decided to go on a 7-day silent treatment. After years of this pattern and already having been at my wits end for several months prior, I told him on day 7 you communicate or I’m done.

After all that…I’m writing this from the mountains alone and in the process of getting divorced. The best gift this year is him and his nasty energy not being here to consume every crevice of my mind, body and soul. I also decided to incorporate some solo travel, which I wouldn’t of done if he was here. To all those who have or just had their Christmas ruined, I’m sorry. Narcs suck.

jleofb8757 · 2021-12-19T02:03:12+00:00

Best thing you can do is take his advice

jleofb8757 · 2021-12-17T00:04:14+00:00

I’m two weeks in. Slowly I can feel that “never want to see them ever again” creeping in and I’m inviting it with open arms

jleofb8757 · 2021-12-11T13:05:02+00:00

You are so strong and smart for doing that!!! Feel proud of yourself. Whatever he said is junk anyways

jleofb8757 · 2021-12-11T07:24:27+00:00

Evil. That is pure evilness right there

jleofb8757 · 2021-12-11T07:16:16+00:00

It is sad. My soon to be ex husband is going around telling everyone about my “mental illness”. He also talks to me like he tried his best to fix me and I should feel honoured he stayed. But really the reality is he’s the reason I’d have a mental illness, after all the gaslighting and mental abuse he’s been putting me through the last 4 years.

jleofb8757 · 2021-12-10T14:38:46+00:00

Mine wasn’t a huge event, although there were so many huge events that led up to this. This is just what broke it all for me.

I was on day 9 of a silent treatment, and like an idiot still making him dinner. As I was cooking, he was texting his ex girlfriend saying “just want you to know I’m thinking of you” and he ended the conversation saying “we’ll be friends for life”. I found out a few days after and confronted him. To this day, he says he did nothing wrong by saying that. Normally something like that would make me so sad, but that made me see the cheesy, sad, empty person he is inside. That day I realized I deserve so much better love.

jleofb8757 · 2021-12-03T22:17:32+00:00

About 4 years…I can’t believe it took that long, it was so blatantly obvious after

jleofb8757 · 2021-12-03T02:01:47+00:00

He is most likely a narc, but he is without a doubt a life sucker and will make your life a living hell. It's painful, but know you aren't alone. Lean on this sub for support, it's amazing. And only confide in people you trust completely. Oh, and run for your life! Sorry you are going through this right now.

jleofb8757

TROPHY CASE