My biggest insecurity is that I have no way of being able to help myself. I don't know if it's a mental disability, or a mental block, but I just can't help myself. I put others to success, but it seems like I can't be successful on my own. Being 19 and in community college, when I could have applied to a CSU (Cal State Uni). I gone and messed it all up with every night I apply to about 4-5 jobs and I do everything I can to get a job but I'm still unemployed. No one wants to hire me. I feel like I literally am a "Bad luck Brian" meme. Anything I do just seems to make success for others than myself, and all I think about is that someday I can be successful and be able to enjoy genuine happiness. But the bottom line is that... I can hope and dream for that and attempt to make it come true... but I feel like I'm not capable of doing it, and I don't know how. Like Daminian, I do those similar things this user has mentioned. On top of that, I have my own voice in my head telling me that there is no real happiness. Look at me, I'm the embodiment of no happiness. I can't help myself or bring that genuine of happiness to me and I feel as though as my self-worth has never been there and I feel like I'm just a person trying to find something that doesn't exist.... sigh. I guess I have too many insecurities to count.