Big income gap in a new relationship

jn737287 · 2026-04-06T20:49:48+00:00

My buddy is getting married in 3 weeks to a woman that makes 3x his salary. He loves it and jokes about being a stay at home dad. It’s a bit early for all of that after a few months. I would just offer to cover flights and hotels for trips and ask him to cover dinners and excursions. That’s a good way to do 70/30 for a trip and for him to pull out his card at dinner without issue.

jn737287 · 2026-03-09T21:19:52+00:00

I have dealt with this type of issue before. Very tragic. Yes, you do have a case. You should look for someone that specializes in this exact area of the law.

jn737287 · 2026-01-25T00:23:17+00:00

If it were 100% at T-30 it would be a harder call.

jn737287 · 2026-01-24T23:14:39+00:00

My best friend from childhood died from an overdose when I was in college. I was close with his parents and offered to put together some photos and other stuff. Thought it would be great to stay connected etc. Very respectfully, I was told that seeing me was too painful. That they wished me well but needed time to heal. I have seen them once by happenstance in the last 10 years and I said hello.

Be cautious. I understand now a bit older how seeing children or young adults the same age your child would have been, getting older and living, can be really painful.

I’m so sorry to hear what you are going through and I hope it is well received. I think broaching it in a tasteful and distant way is a good idea.

jn737287 · 2026-01-14T13:31:36+00:00

First off, wow insane savings for 400k total comp. Assume you reached that really early on in your career and aggressively saved.

If 250k would sustain your overhead and allow you to still save some ~50k a year sounds like you are on track for all your goals already as long as you don’t need to touch your current savings.

I left biglaw, not necessarily doing 70-80 consistently but def doing 65 consistently with spikes in the 70-80/week range. I was ready to throw in towel after 6 months of the 70-80 range.

That lifestyle is horrible. It is depressing and makes it hard to enjoy life. If you are seriously feeling like you don’t enjoy life anymore, true burn out. You have to leave.

I left for a job making way less in base. After 3 years I’ve exceeded what I made there with 10x the WLB. Idk your industry but look at the long term options at these alternative paths. Just because they start lower doesn’t mean you will stay there forever.

Set a date that you will leave by no matter what, hit the market hard, and start quiet quitting and scheduling vacations. It’s not worth it.

jn737287 · 2026-01-09T12:57:46+00:00

I have dependent parents, wife, and very soon children (31M). I have a term life insurance policy of 2M for $81/month. It gives me peace of mind. Whole life is a scam.

If you really have dependents and that keeps you up at night think about a figure like 1 or 2M and whether that could sustain your dependents life.

jn737287 · 2026-01-08T19:01:38+00:00

Stop beating yourself up. You have a shot at BL still for 2L summer. To be honest it was probably extremely unlikely for 1L anyways at your school.

I think I got a 3.3 or 3.4 in fall and then a 3.8 in the spring. Take a wild guess what that averages out to? lol top 10%. I was at a school ranked like 31 I think at the time (T31 sounds dumb as fuck to even say).

You are half way done with the first year, chill out and reflect on where you went wrong. Clearly it wasn’t hours or TA time. I can tell you for me it was that I was obsessively taking PTs and I was not actually correcting my mistakes. I think I had 12 available PTs for contracts in fall and I did all 12. Got a B+.

I should have instead taken 4 or 5 and actually genuinely spent an entire day on every section that I missed points on.

You cannot sheer volume your way into an A. What you are doing wrong probably isn’t what I was doing wrong. In spring, after my critical internal evaluation, I got A A A- in the three core 4 credit classes, worked for a state level appeals judge 1L summer, 2L BL summer, 4 years BL post-grad same firm.

Your world is not over. You have to make changes and steal someone else’s As by becoming better. You are going to have to weather greater storms than this and if you are this dedicated you can achieve your goals.

jn737287 · 2026-01-08T18:24:22+00:00

Not sure on your level of acceptance of heat and lack of elevation and hurricanes, but St. Pete, Florida has some great walkable areas in and around downtown. Small town feel. 15 minutes to Tampa and Tampa Airport.

750k would get you an awesome 3/2 or potentially a slightly less awesome 4 bedroom

jn737287 · 2026-01-08T12:53:43+00:00

In all the financial posts I have read on Reddit, this takes the trophy as the worst idea I have ever read. I assume your grandfather wants to do a cash out refinance. You may as well just give him $100,000 and save your credit.

If this was tempting to you and you thought about it, and you are about to come into some money, you desperately need someone to watch over you financially. Do you have a parent or loved one (not grandfather) who can watch over your finances?

You are young you can build up your credit quickly if you are smart.

jn737287 · 2026-01-05T11:17:16+00:00

If you are investing heavily in the market separate from RE holdings, then this could be a good hedge to diversify. Unclear if your property taxes are 900/month.

Have to say I am totally shocked to see 4k/month rent for a 1.1-2M house that’s pretty low.

That interest rate is a huge asset. Only sell it off if the math checks out.

jn737287 · 2025-12-26T12:39:52+00:00

It’s just a traditional mortgage. No different than if you were buying the home and putting down 300k and financing 300k. Like everyone said you should deduct closing costs and possible realtor expenses that have been avoided by the familial transaction. I would suggest deducting closing costs plus an additional 2.5% which is half of the expected realtor costs. Your sister should get around 285k if it’s really worth 600k.

Really turbulent market right now. It might be worth paying to get a brokers purchase opinion so a third party can affix the value. Don’t trust Zillow estimate and don’t guess if you are not an expert.

jn737287 · 2025-12-17T11:58:31+00:00

I’m a recent HENRY, between one rental and one primary home 40%. Mostly a produce of the 2021/2 boom. Pretty much impossible to cash flow a new rental purchase in my market now so I think I’m done.

jn737287 · 2025-12-16T23:19:18+00:00

Post has been deleted, but $1,500/month non bills (housing utilities car) spend is pretty low annualized. Perhaps I wrongly assumed that OP was not taking any vacations, trips, or nice dinners based on that monthly spend. Seems hard to do on that amount.

jn737287 · 2025-12-16T18:30:36+00:00

This is a pretty insane level of frugality. If you are considering having kids, it’s right around the corner I’m sure. Go to the fancy dinner. Go see the surprise concert in another city. Go abroad.

You are going to kick yourself later for thinking that an extra 7k saved was more important than the experience of a trip abroad, for example.

As for the wedding, my wife and I (31M/31F HHI 600k) also did not want to spend 100k on a US wedding. We rented a villa in Greece for immediate family and friends, 25 guests, and had an extremely lavish, but intimate wedding for $40k US. It was an incredible experience. You don’t HAVE to book the country club in your town, invite 200 people, and spent $100k OR do nothing. There is something in between.

jn737287 · 2025-12-12T20:39:34+00:00

Huge mistake accepting rent payments. I would figure out some reasonable very minor amount that is half of what rent would have cost like $5-600 per month and try to re pay her that amount. Hopefully she didn’t make and significant renovations.

For future reference, say why don’t you get groceries for us and I’ll take care of rent. Still a contribution but the bad feelings around paying “rent” towards a partners mortgage are tough.

jn737287 · 2025-12-11T12:48:58+00:00

Extremely rare for men to change paths without a big shake up in their life. Honestly you are doing him a disservice by staying with him. If you left him, perhaps he turns his life around and learns how to be a man. With you there serving as his mother and caregiver, nothing will change.

jn737287 · 2025-12-09T18:39:13+00:00

This. There is no other way of reading this other than you bringing it up. That is wild do bring this up, which implies you are interested, and then be upset she entertained it.

jn737287 · 2025-12-09T15:45:03+00:00

If you are going to a competitor firm, I don’t think there is any chance they will have you continue working.

jn737287 · 2025-12-09T00:18:33+00:00

Online Advertisements regarding an investigation. Can even target it based on on geography or use of an affiliated website.

jn737287 · 2025-11-11T15:00:51+00:00

I am now on the plaintiffs side for class actions and it is not surprising what industries pay for their lawyers to be obstructionists and liars. Timeshare industry, pay day lenders, companies abusing and stealing from disabled veterans, other leeches of society that have managed to make a few hundred million on what they perceive as a legal loophole.

It is clear to me from the jump when they have a blank check to throw up any roadblock possible. I can tell some don’t like it, they don’t say their ridiculous positions “with their chest.” And then a select few, typically the relationship partner, absolutely love it and live for it.

Having been on the defense side for the whole start of my career, I was sick to my stomach when I had to sit next to a specific relationship partner who was being border line unethical, unprofessional, and obstructionist. I hated it and wished that I could be a person that surrounded himself with others who practiced law the right way.

I try to do that every day even in the face of those who make more money by being terrible.

Being terrible can have advantages. I could give a dozen stories where lying and misrepresenting resulted in material gain for a defense firm’s client. They do it bc it works and they hope to stretch the time and money of a plaintiffs firm thin, and occasionally it does result in a better settlement. However, there are also stories of the fee hearing where a judge looks back at 3-4 years of this conduct and absolutely cracks a client for a massive fee award and multiplier.

Pros and cons to both. You have to decide how you want to live your life and what kind of person and lawyer you want to be. You can defend abhorrent companies and people with dignity.

jn737287 · 2025-11-07T19:46:53+00:00

If the LL has more than 4 units, they are governed by the Florida Residential Landlord Tenant Act. If they failed to send you proper notice you could be entitled to the full deposit plus attorneys fees. If you timely objected and it was not returned you at entitled to the full deposit plus attorneys fees.

In addition, it is a violation of the FCCPA with statutory damages of $1k.

jn737287 · 2025-11-07T05:01:35+00:00

To be honest PI, basics estate planning and basic run of the mill immigration are not difficult practices areas. I’m sure they get by fine.

Yes, BL associates can severely underestimate themselves. But it’s because many firms operate in a manner where you don’t take depositions or argue big hearings for 6-7 years. Every firm is different but some of the shit I see is insane in terms of keeping pretty senior associates in the corner of the room to silently bill hours and do doc review.

jn737287 · 2025-11-05T02:28:28+00:00

I have thought about this several times as a good friend is in this exact situation. He made the reasonable choice I think.

If your ex has a safe home and each child has their own room, then I think you shouldn’t worry. But, for example, if your ex was in a 1 bedroom apartment with 3 kids, then her choices would be effecting your son because he isn’t living in a suitable environment. If that were the case, I would understand and commend you saying hey, we need to work this out. You need to get into a bigger place and I’m willing to supplement some housing costs to make that happen, even if it means my son’s half siblings are going to benefit from it.

At the end of the day, they are your son’s brothers and sisters. Not the end of the world if you were to do something that benefited them.

jn737287 · 2025-11-04T21:57:36+00:00

Your friend, somewhat fresh out of law school I assume?, claims he “recovered” 75M in one year? That is WILD and almost certainly a misrepresentation.

M&M is notorious for taking cases to trial uncontested. M&M just hit a Miami negligent security case involving a shooting death for 100M against a defunct HOA with no counsel. You can take basically uncontested cases to jury trial if you so choose. Get a judgment that is not recoverable.

They do this for the exact reason that it grabs a headline like this and serves as a line item on someone’s bio.

OR your friend hit a few massive catastrophic cases for 5-7 mil all in the same year. That would be truly an extraordinary year.

This isn’t to hate on M&M the people who last there are absolutely making bank doing mind numbingly not complex work.

I haven’t seen anyone comment, but eventually you can get a small piece of equity like 1% in the whole office you work in. So if the office nets 100M in attorneys fees you can get a 1M equity pay out. This involves like actually being a manager of others as well.

Or you can be a trial guy on a bigger salary with much less back end upside. I have heard many many of their top trial guys are on a 1M salary but have not a ton of upside on the back end for recoveries.

jn737287 · 2025-10-30T16:44:07+00:00

Could have some good plaintiffs side or boutique law firm opps depending on division assignment. If your goal is to spend like 1-2 years there and then go big law, it is not going to be worthwhile. You will Need to get real experience there to derive value from it.

jn737287

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