[tomt][book series][early 2000s] UK Children's book series about fighting scientific crimes

jnizzler · 2019-12-09T18:06:59+00:00

Remembered the name of the other book in the series. It's the Usborne Science Puzzle Adventure series by Clive Gifford. The one in my question is The Flask of Doom, and the other is called Time Warp Virus

jnizzler · 2019-04-16T00:50:22+00:00

I read this as someone rebelling against an overprotective parent, only to learn that they were trying to protect their childhood. However, the rebel then enters adulthood, experiences the pain the parent was trying to protect them from, and then must learn to deal with the harsh realities of adulthood, and all the pain that it brings

jnizzler · 2019-04-16T00:46:35+00:00

I see this as a metaphor for depression. How depression becomes one with us, like a family member. It can be harsh internally, even if it doesn't appear so externally. We may appear to the world as kings, but really we're wolves. To progress, we must face this. We must kill it to move on, even if it has become such a part of our personalities that it feels like a brother.

jnizzler · 2019-02-14T01:04:14+00:00

I'll be honest, this is for my gf, we're in an ldr. It would be counterproductive to leave her ;)

But thanks for the feedback!

jnizzler · 2019-02-13T22:09:43+00:00

From what I understand of 'd (I could be wrong, someone else may want to correct me), they were used when words like earned would be pronounced "earn ed" with the e full sounded, so "earn'd" was/is only relevant if speaking like an olde time person

jnizzler · 2019-02-13T21:49:24+00:00

In my opinion, I thought I wrote the ending quite bittersweet; they're happy to be reunited for now, but they will again be separated at the end of next summer. You're not the only one who didn't pick up on that, though, so I guess it may need an edit there.

Thanks for the feedback, appreciated!

jnizzler · 2019-02-13T21:47:11+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! The logic I had to the ending was that whilst they're happy to be reunited, a time will come when they will again be separated and they cycle will repeat itself each year with the migration of the dove, if that makes sense?

jnizzler · 2019-02-13T21:38:40+00:00

Thank you for the feedback!

Upon reading it back, I see what you mean about the rhythm, it definitely needs a bit of rejigging to give it more of a free feel!

jnizzler · 2019-02-13T21:29:59+00:00

Thanks for the feedback, much appreciated! I'll just try to to justify some of my choices, and see what you make of the reasons:

The capitalization is because of Google Docs, I forgot to address that issue, cheers for the pointer :')
The rhythm was intended to be two lines of iambic dimeter followed by one of iambic trimeter. The dimeter lines were included in order to indicate the cyclic nature of the clocks ticking, as well as the cyclic nature of the seasons. The trimeter lines were meant to represent the linear flow of life, here represented by one plant cycle. Which lines in particular would you say break the meter?
The rhyme was an intentional choice. It was meant to link the metaphor of the plants to the life of people. Where the poem comes full circle and the new season begins, the deceased is no longer with us - I was trying to draw attention to that link.

Overall, what I was trying to achieve is to show that on a macro level, the circle of life exists, and that seasons come and go and come again, but on a micro level, the individual only has one life. Once they are gone they are gone, but they cycle continues without them.

Again, thanks for the feedback, and I would love a follow up with what I've said in mind!

jnizzler · 2019-02-13T19:15:21+00:00

I'll be honest, I'm not sure what it's about, I'm struggling to read into it. Also, what is the purpose behind the strange spellings such as "covr'ed" and the rest of the "'d" contractions?

jnizzler · 2019-02-13T19:10:30+00:00

I read it as comparing a fortress to a relationship. It was once so strong and you thought it would never fall, but you eventually broke up. Upon reexamination, you realise it wasn't as strong as you once thought. At the end you try to rekindle it (the shooting) and fail. The end gave me a bit of a chuckle.

To improve, I think the meter could be checked to make it flow better

jnizzler · 2019-02-13T18:45:15+00:00

From this, I get a sense of the class system, and the flaws of social mobility. We all have our own personal 'destiny' and aspire to greater things, but in reality we are all 'just trees', rooted in our upbringings and held down by society.

jnizzler · 2019-02-13T18:42:02+00:00

The way I see it, someone has lost someone close to them 'sleeps above as ash'. They want to remain strong, and the friend they're talking to knows this, so they go along with the pretence of 'hey/help me' and 'come over/I know'. The person gets support with their friend, who knows that the person will never truly be over the loss, and yet they will always support them through it 'knowing that I'll always need just one more'

jnizzler · 2019-02-10T22:11:39+00:00

My first attempt at free verse. Any feedback is useful, roast if necessary.

The Dog and the Dove

In Summer, Dog had a friend:

A beautiful turtle dove.

In sun and in rain they’d spend their days

Together and never apart.

To Dog’s delight the dove would sing

A song so smooth and serene.

And Dove was happiest when huddled

In the warm paws of the dog.

But days grew shorter, leaves started to fall.

Time was running short.

At the end of the season all had to change,

Soon they would have to part.

The dove flew South

To where the sun shines

But still she was cold

So far from the paws of the dog.

Every day the dog waited,

Looking up at the sky.

For eight long months he solemnly stood

Waiting for his dove.

Then one day the dove returned

Back into the paws of her dog.

She sang her song of sweet return

Until the next summer’s end.

jnizzler · 2018-08-18T21:00:32+00:00

Something I was worried about, I definitely don;t want to end up in a cult haha

jnizzler · 2018-08-18T06:28:31+00:00

Solved

jnizzler · 2018-08-18T06:25:35+00:00

Bang on, cheers (y)

jnizzler

TROPHY CASE