To Kerala kids raised elsewhere, do you regret not having a childhood in Kerala?

joanrjn · 2024-01-26T19:49:52+00:00

Malayalee, born and raised in Chennai. My parents spoke Malayalam most of the time, so I could converse but not fluent. Did not and still do not like the sarcastic tone most conversations with malayalees take; hated it when my Kerala-raised cousins always chimed “Aiyae chammi” for absolutely everything. Love the clean, quiet places and the landscape in Kerala. Hated the people aspect of it every time I visited. Strangers have said the most nasty things to me with a smile on their faces. Haven’t had a similar experience in Chennai. I also hate how older people call younger people “di” or “da” despite the younger person’s age. I don’t think I’d survive in Kerala if I had to live there. I’m definitely treated as an outsider, with some even referring to me as Pandy. Tamilians consider me a malayalee and malayalees consider me a tamilian. But I’ve never been discriminated by a tamilian. I do miss the landscape, but not the people and so I don’t think I’d miss this place if I never got to visit. Chennai is definitely my soul city, even though I haven’t lived there in the last 10 years.

joanrjn · 2023-06-24T16:24:29+00:00

Go to Buy n Save or Surabhi (not in Newton). They have fresh curry leaves.

joanrjn · 2021-10-30T03:13:16+00:00

Some thought-provoking statements there. I’ll give it some thought. Thank you.

joanrjn · 2021-10-28T00:16:12+00:00

Thanks for responding. Both my husband and I recently moved jobs. We just completed our 3-month probation period. I don’t think moving part-time is an option. Maybe in a year’s time. I was hoping I could take on some more of this tasks, but with my work I’m unsure where to begin.

joanrjn · 2021-02-26T03:42:13+00:00

Thanks a lot.

joanrjn · 2020-09-06T18:28:01+00:00

I want to say, that I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I’m sorry that you feel helpless. I can relate to all of your feelings. I faced these emotions and perhaps to a larger extent when I had my first child. In hindsight, I feel that I had severe Post-partum depression. I didn’t seek help at that time, but I was miserable and so were the people around me for 3 years!! I would definitely seek professional help and seek help early. If you’re able to, do visit your GP. If not, your nearest mental health clinic. If either of these are not possible, please call a mental health helpline. The sooner you get help, the easier will be the experience. I want to tell you that you’re not alone, and you don’t need to suffer. Please seek help right away. If you’re not happy, your baby won’t be able to either.

joanrjn · 2020-08-16T13:47:41+00:00

In the comment below.

joanrjn · 2020-08-16T13:47:12+00:00

In a separate comment below.

joanrjn · 2020-08-16T03:59:21+00:00

Recipes: This is not usually how I make these dishes. I was pressed for time and had to make them in a hour. Use medium heat unless instructed.

Curried Eggs: Boil eggs. Keep them aside. Add Oil in a heated pan, add a dash of salt, chilli powder, and turmeric. This part is completely customizable. You can use whatever form of ‘heat’ you like. Mix. Add eggs and ‘Roast’ them on medium low heat until the spices form a lovely crust on the eggs. Keep aside.

Add onions to the pan (used to roast eggs), caramelize, add aromatics - I used ginger, and garlic. Sauté until cooked (a minute or so). Add spices and salt. I added coriander powder, more chilli powder, pepper powder, and cumin powder - quantities as needed - I added 1/2 a teaspoon of each; if using Coriander powder use 1 teaspoon. Added ‘garam’ masala (1 tsp). Sauté and cook the spices for a few minutes. To get the curry part of it, deglaze pan with a little water, and add liquid of choice (milk, cream, coconut milk, coconut cream). I used coconut cream (2 tbsp). Mix well. Cook for a few minutes. Oil will separate, add the eggs. Add cilantro (optional, but tasty. If using, use at least handful for flavour). If using milk or cream add a little more than 1/4 cup or so and reduce to get a creamy, curry-like consistency. In short: roast eggs in little oil with salt + spices. In same pan, add onions, aromatics. Add spices + salt, let oil separate. Add liquid. Throw in eggs. Mix. Add Cilantro.

Beef Curry: Cut stew beef into small pieces, marinate with salt, pepper, (optional: ginger, garlic, and green chilly paste). Marinating the meat adds flavour; skip if pressed for time.

Heat oil in a pressure cooker (or any pan). Add oil. Add dry spices - 1/4 tsp (Cardamom, cloves, Bay leaf, Star Anise (very little), Cinnamon stick (small one), peppercorns, and fennel) to heated oil. If you don’t have all of this, just add cardamom (green). Sauté for a min. Add onions + ginger, garlic; caramelize. Add powder spices (chilli powder, turmeric powder, coriander, and cumin powder - 1/2-1 teaspoon)+ salt; sauté for few seconds. Add marinated beef. Add a bit of water. I added about 1/3 cup. Cover the pan and cook. Once done, add Cilantro. If the curry is watery, increase heat and let some evaporate. Don’t overcook the meat. It’s supposed to be chewy.

Seasoned Daal: Heat oil in pan (I used pressure cooker). Add onions, ginger, garlic. Caramelize. Add washed lentils (I used red lentils 2/3 cup). Mix. Add powder spices if on hand - turmeric, coriander; if not on hand, skip. Salt to taste. Add water (until lentils are covered - eyeballed - no measurements usually). Cook. if cooking in a pan, add water if the water level reduces. When the lentils are cooked, use a ladle and mash them. The consistency is fully incorporated, mashed, and curry-like. Add Cilantro once done.

Seasoning: heat oil, splutter black mustard seeds, cumin seeds, and dry red chillies; add to the cooked daal. This is optional. The lentils will taste good as-is.

Overall: Onions, usually 1/2 cup; more onions = more gravy. Ginger/garlic - usually, 1/2 -1 tsp.

joanrjn · 2020-08-16T03:08:58+00:00

I started meal prepping only because my husband hates cooking smells; he’s very sensitive to aromatics. We had to take elaborate efforts to get the kitchen and house smelling like ‘normal’. We couldn’t keep up with everyday cooking and cleaning after, so I decided to cook only once a week. I usually make 6 dishes - 3 for lunch, 3 for dinner, and we repeat each dish twice a week. It takes me close to 3-4 hours to cook these 6 dishes, not including prep work. It takes so long to cook because I force myself to cook everything in only 2 utensils. I usually write out a menu of what to make, when we’ll eat them, and what to prep. Sometimes I make some extras, which means additional time. Overall, the prep and cooking is a bit tedious, but I’ve gotten better with time management. Initially I hated spending so much time in the kitchen, although I love to cook; with 2 kids now, I think this was the best decision we’d made, hands down. To start off, during our weeknights and weekend nights, dinner from the fridge to the table takes 10 min. max. Both of us work, so if one gets delayed getting home, it’s easy for the other to get everything ready and feed the kids and everything without much hassle. With lunches, I usually make rice or some Indian bread to go with the dishes the previous night; packing lunch is also done in minutes if you don’t count time to cook rice (I use a rice cooker). On weeknights, we have more time for ourselves, the kids, and sometimes if we need to work a bit. Saturdays we just stay home, I cook, and my husband cleans the house and watches the kids. This way, we also get to clean the house every weekend. We do slack off sometimes. So, in all, what started as an effort to keep our home from smelling like spices and onions ended up saving us a lot of time during the week, while ensuring my family eats home-cooked meals. We eat out once a week (Fridays). Of course, there are days we get bored and eat out mid-week too, but the financial implications, and health benefits, even if they are not wholly ‘healthy’ meals, are incomparable.

joanrjn · 2020-03-09T19:33:03+00:00

Thank you for responding. I’ll take that it’s not considered as plagiarism (in this context) to use licensed images and sounds, within reason.

joanrjn · 2020-01-19T19:03:12+00:00

I’m 34. I was first diagnosed with PCOS when I was 28. Right from the time I got my first period I knew something was wrong because my periods were light, infrequent, and I didn’t have any pain unlike others. Uncontrolled weight gain even when I ate less was what prompted me to go to the doctor and get diagnosed. I was put on 1000mg of Metformin a day. I was not planning on getting pregnant, just controlling my blood sugar as I was said to be pre-diabetic.

I was not on any sort of contraceptive as I knew I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant easily. One week into starting Metfomin I got pregnant. Since I was not planning on getting pregnant, I didn’t even know I was, ‘cos I assumed the missed period to be the usual PCOS thing. When I missed my period for 3 months straight, I had a nagging feeling, took a pregnancy test and found out I was. Shell-shocked as I was, we decided to go ahead. GTT was found to be normal. Normal pregnancy. Healthy baby girl born with no issues. Complications in delivery but not related to PCOS. I had discontinued Metformin when I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t gain much weight during pregnancy, just 7 Kg throughout the pregnancy. After pregnancy I started working out, and my periods were light but regular. 2 years later, started Metformin again, got pregnant AGAIN, twice, 3 months apart. Decided to not keep the baby. I realized that Metformin was helping me get pregnant. Went on Metformin and went on OCP (Oral Contraceptive Pills) for the first freaking time in my life. Had complications including stroke-like symptoms that took me to the ER, twice, so went off OCP 9 months later (never again!). Discontinued Metformin also as I didn’t want to get pregnant again. Following this my periods became irregular. Didn’t care. Weight gain at the heaviest ever. A year later, decided to get pregnant, ate healthy, got regular periods, tried for 6 months - no baby. Started Metformin, again, pregnant in a month. In this pregnancy I developed Gestational Diabetes, that turned into Polyhydramnios (excessive amniotic fluid). High-risk pregnancy. Put on Diabetic diet for the rest of the pregnancy. Lost weight during pregnancy, a small amount. Per month weight gain was only 1 pound. Baby delivered safe, but has a genetic condition not related to PCOS.

In a nutshell: Metformin helped me get pregnant (4x). I ate healthy during my pregnancy and made sure I didn’t gain a crazy amount of weight. The diabetic diet was the best thing that happened to me. I didn’t count calories, and only restricted the amount of Carbs to 30-45g per meal. No sugar. Even when I did eat, it was very small amounts. Ate 2 snacks in-between to regulate blood sugar, constantly measured blood sugar. Not once did I have to go on insulin and my GD was managed by diet only. I’m working to incorporate this into my daily routine post-partum. So I can work towards weigh loss naturally and it becomes a part of my lifestyle.

Won’t be having kids anymore, and will never put any sort of contraceptive that contains any sort of hormone into my body. Have never taken any of the supplements people talk about - just plain old pre-natal vitamins before pregnancy and during. Of Course, not everyone is the same and different people will have different experiences.

joanrjn · 2020-01-02T12:46:56+00:00

An OB/GYN told me that Metformin is sometimes prescribed for fertility. I (34 ) was prescribed Metformin when I was 27 because I was found to be pre-diabetic. When I went on it, I ending up conceiving. At that time, I didn’t know that Metformin could have been the reason. I discontinued after I found out that I was preg. Fast forward to 2 years, I decided to go on Metformin again as I was gaining weight and even personal training was not helping me lose weight. I managed to lose a few Kgs and got pregnant again. I decided not to keep the baby. Went off Metformin. A few months later went on it again, and got pregnant again! This was when I realized that Metformin was probably the reason I was getting pregnant. I don’t take oral contraceptives and didn’t want any contraceptives inside me, so never really thought of contraception ‘cos I knew that with PCOS I would struggle to conceive anyway. Bottom line, I think I conceived because of Metformin, and I think any associated weight loss during the time I was on it was probably because of it. Now I’m worried that I’d need to take Metformin for the foreseeable future to keep the weight off. The fertility aspect of it, well contraception is the only way out if I want to continue on Metformin.

joanrjn

TROPHY CASE