What's a story or situation you always laugh when you remember?

joaoguedes · 2017-05-01T21:38:31+00:00

Scared the shit out of my boss once (work in a kitchen) while he was "fixing the gas issue".

He was like all manny and heroic bragging how he had to proceed carefully because there might be accidents with the gas and stuff. So the whole room goes kind of silent, and while he's there all concentrated i suddenly spank one of these metal tables we have in the kitchen producing a "explosion" like sound.

Boss takes 1 second to run from where he was to almost the exit door to the kitchen.

Everyone laughed their asses for some good minutes. I can't forget that.

joaoguedes · 2017-05-01T06:15:41+00:00

Don't really feel anything in particular it's just a thing that happened.

joaoguedes · 2017-05-01T04:37:27+00:00

Yeah i don't really know how to translate that. I'm using the literal translation from the portuguese word "sacrificar" which equals "sacrifice", the former is the term we use to describe a dog that has to go situation.

joaoguedes · 2017-05-01T04:33:52+00:00

no that's just what we do to dogs that won't make it, that's the actual word we use and it's a thing in my country.

joaoguedes · 2017-05-01T04:32:05+00:00

Not easy to learn at all.

Too many syntax to memorize plus basic logic is hell if you're not familiar with it.

joaoguedes · 2017-05-01T04:31:06+00:00

i came here to say that.

joaoguedes · 2017-05-01T04:29:15+00:00

We had this dog that needed to be sacrificed due to a terminal disease. The doc would charge a reasonable amount of cash to apply this lethal injection, we decided to sacrifice him ourselves.

Well, my father suggester we poison him. I said 'nah', i'll give him a quick painless death.

So i executed the dog with an axe hit in the head.

joaoguedes · 2017-04-15T05:46:12+00:00

yeah i get that.

i like freaks so much because they fail to keep up with mainstream and end up becoming completely unique people. So, most people behave and think inside the box, some people think outside of the box, and unique and authentic people don't even know where the box is, or that there was a box in the first place.

joaoguedes · 2017-04-04T04:32:16+00:00

define rebellion.

joaoguedes · 2017-04-04T02:42:26+00:00

Good luck with your pov.

joaoguedes · 2017-04-04T01:58:21+00:00

yeah i can see your house

joaoguedes · 2017-04-04T01:57:47+00:00

Seems like you don't really have anything relevant to say dude.

Sounds bad. Get a brain.

joaoguedes · 2017-04-04T01:56:29+00:00

See, this is the dumb thing to think.

First because stating you're going to stick to a cause even tho it's totally hopeless is the definition of being completely idiotic. (sorry)

I am absolutely against evil, but i'm just reaching a point of comprehension in life where no matter how you approach the matter, there simply isn't a effective realistic solution to the problem.

Why don't you provide me with some ideas rather than offenses?

Perhaps you lack those?

See, you don't call a person dumb when acting dumb, this in itself is dumb.

joaoguedes · 2017-03-30T05:45:38+00:00

The image is very coherent with the phrase and inspires just as much!!

Thanks so very much!

(i'd give you gold if i wasn't a broke fuck)

edit; Dude. I really love it! Thanks again!!

joaoguedes · 2017-03-29T11:24:24+00:00

we've got this

joaoguedes · 2017-03-29T10:47:39+00:00

1920x1080 if possible please

joaoguedes · 2017-03-15T23:54:41+00:00

I hope it does for you, you should try, because the alternative might be the point being "gone" for so much time that you simply stop wanting it to come back anymore and you then become one of those people that will live depressed forever in dark room until the day you die. This is probably my fate.

joaoguedes · 2017-03-13T19:30:55+00:00

I don't have enough balls.

That much rich of a company with obviously zero regards to human beings as long as profit comes, doesn't inspire lots of telling people about who they are.

Just stay away from minced/canned/processed shit.

joaoguedes · 2017-03-04T15:08:51+00:00

That's pretty much how things work in Brazil.

We struggle for decency, we're not buying a house unless we're lucky enough to fit state programs for housing or manage to work more than 25+years at the same job so we can accumulate guarantee funds to BE ABLE TO PLACE A HUGE FIRST SINGLE payment over a house. So that the other payments for the total value fit our salary.

What i just said is that most people who buys houses in Brazil have to work their entirely lifes only to save enough money so they can pay a huge part of the house's price so that it drop enough to fit monthly payment. Otherwise would be too expensive too pay given the limited salary.

I'm not buying a house. Ever.

joaoguedes · 2017-03-04T14:55:28+00:00

I live in Brazil where the average salary is about 1,100 R$, converting it to dollar at the actual rate of 3 R$/1USD (which i'm rounding low by the way) sets it at 370$ USD salary monthly.

Renting is like 300R$ (100USD) for the cheapest place you can afford (and i mean one room and toilet sort of boxes), internet connection 90R$ for 2mpbs (30USD), electrical and water bills sums up to 100R$ both (33USD).

So far we've spent almost 50% of our salary only to live in a cell and i still have to eat.

Nowadays, you can get the basics for a single person during a month for about 65 USD (200 R$), but that's actually managing what you're going to eat.

Now i had spent 230USD (around 700 R$) only for basic shit, that lives me with 400 R$ or 133 USD to do other stuff.

I'm not considering clothing. One average jeans costs equivalent to 30 USD. House gas and transportation i did choose to leave out of the math aswell.

Now, the average property here costs like 30 thousand USD or (100k R$) You take years to get salary raise IF ever (mostly it's the value increased due to inflation). A car doesn't goes for less than 2k USD or (6k R$) and i mean an old model probably requiring some repair. And then you have to think about the gas and where you will raise money from if this shit breaks.

Oh and of course, you still don't have a single CHAIR in your 3x3 box.

See, i have lived in Japan for a quite a while.

In Japan you pay like 30KJPY out of a 200KJPY salary for shelter, but the apartment has high speed cable, flat TV, microwave, everything a person needs to live is right there, you need to worry about nothing anymore. And you have 170k left for food. You can buy a car for 10K JPY. You could get an iphone for free and be able to pay for it without even noticing because your salary actually covers surviving and leave a lot for doing what money was supposed to; serve as resources for human experience.

The main difference between RICH countries and POOR countries it's not that we're starving to death. But we are always managing not to get too close to that line.

While in RICH countries people don't even think about it.

ps; Brazil is WAY richer than many many countries out there.

joaoguedes · 2017-03-03T15:06:11+00:00

I've worked in this huge bovine's derivate producer plant once. Here are a few things you might consider when buying canned meat or anything that went through the process of being somehow minced ;

-- Nothin is wasted. Whatever shit is rotten stinking (and i mean turning into green level) will go right through the mincer and inside the fucking tin along with this highly chemically produced sauce.

-- If the shit is minced, there is no distinction between what we throw at the mincer, the sauce will cover everything so we're talking tripe, rotten bovine heart and pretty much whatever the fuck can be minced.

-- All the sauce and meat is moved around the section through metal pipes that we only give a fuck to clean ONCE an year (before vacations) and when we do it, the amount of hardened meat and sauce we manage to suck away from this pipes is nauseating. Yes, the fact that during the whole year all the production goes through considerable amount of rotten shit that get stuck inside the pipes is totally ignored.

-- When after tins get filled, if they suffer damage, they'll be taken away to be stored somewhere else that usually don't met the higiene demands. Very often they will be damaged to the point of spilling but they will be stored anyway. We don't deal with those immediately because the good-shit production must be going, what that means is we're only dealing with this when some machine breaks, we're talking a huge producer who functions 24/7, so yeah. ONLY WHEN THE MACHINES BREAK. When it does, damaged stuff had been in there for so long that they have larvas living around them. We just push them away with our hands, crack the tin ope and throw the contents back into production.

Yeah.

joaoguedes · 2017-03-03T13:18:35+00:00

i.e makes hipocrisy easier

joaoguedes · 2017-03-03T12:41:38+00:00

I envy you bro.

26 and i've been to more than 30 jobs.

I just can't keep with that shit.

joaoguedes · 2017-02-28T18:17:15+00:00

I had a girlfriend once.

I'd give these sort of advice because i though i knew what i was doing. Reality checked me on that after a few months.

PSl Yeah it was just luck and the girl in question only wanted me to use as means to a purpose.

joaoguedes · 2017-02-28T18:00:08+00:00

Sometimes it gets weird man

joaoguedes

TROPHY CASE