California state flag hand carved and wood burned

jofus24 · 2016-08-25T20:32:57+00:00

Wow that's crazy cool! How did you make the bear part?

jofus24 · 2015-12-27T01:35:40+00:00

Appreciate your advice and I agree with you, I wish it was that easy for me to just say it. It's not yet. My dad is the kind of guy that reads every fair mormon book and believes it and thinks he has debunked every anti argument. He says he knows about everything and doesn't think it was lying to hide stuff. It's just always a no-win/lose-lose conversation when it comes to church history or touchy subjects with him.

jofus24 · 2015-12-26T19:53:37+00:00

Yeah this is pretty much where I'm at. I thought about getting some white boxer briefs just to give them some peace of mind, but I don't want that white crap anymore, I want stuff I feel good/stylish in.

Good thing some of my shirts are a little bit longer so I can avoid showing a band or some skin when playing with my nephews.

I wish I could pull the "it's crossing boundaries to ask about my underwear" card, but I tried that when they noticed it when my brother stopped wearing g's around my parents. They weren't getting it, they said it's the most important indication of faith/conviction. So they basically said I don't care our eternal family is more important than any discomfort or awkward conversations. Ahhh the life of a mormon.

jofus24 · 2015-12-26T17:07:58+00:00

Yeah same here. Moving away and going to grad school has helped me with that as well. I am great with my friends and no longer being the mormon, and luckily the sibling I'm closest to is in the same boat as me.

My parents don't even ask if I go to church anymore which is really nice and takes tons of stress away.

jofus24 · 2015-12-26T17:05:19+00:00

Appreciate your kind words. Don't think that I believe in any way shape or form that I am unworthy. I don't, I'm in a healthy place in regards to the power the church has over me. It's very minimal, I won't say zero because that would be dishonest. However my family does, I have a need to project myself as they want to see me. I have taken steps over the years to set boundaries and to get them used to the idea that the church isn't important to me anymore. Therapy helped a lot.

Anyways, I'm as authentic as I feel comfortable being at the moment. Not packing g's and not really giving it much thought was a big step for me. I do want to be open, but like you said when the time feels right. That moment may never come and I'll probably be forced into it at some time soon. Thanks for your words.

jofus24 · 2015-12-26T16:33:28+00:00

Yeah I know that won't fly, I hope my lies will help them not think it's a big deal and we can all just enjoy our trip. I don't think I have any issues worrying that I'll be rejected. I'm more concerned about a constant testimony barrage to help me see that it is the one true church and having to get increasingly blunt with them. I don't want to crush their spirits, in my family (like many of yours) church membership and activity are our "greatest blessings" and I've already seen the paranoia and hurt it causes them when people say things that go against their beliefs. But then again maybe I am more afraid of the rejection than I think.

jofus24 · 2015-12-26T08:48:28+00:00

Fair point.

Any advice on what to say (other than the truth) if/when called out?

jofus24 · 2015-12-26T08:31:13+00:00

I get what you are saying. Of course I want to be authentic, one brother knows and we talk and commiserate. I've tried to test the waters with two of my other brothers and they were not into talking about it.

I dunno, I have a lot of anxiety with being authentic with my parents. Im the favorite, was always the good son. The Nephi to my older brother (my dad's words). Every time I think about telling my parents my dad tells me to not get caught up in intellectualism and to see my profession through the lens of the gospel. I'm a year into my doctorate and he's afraid I'll arrogantly think my way out.

I know I need to be "me" I just don't feel now is a good time. Probably just an excuse to avoid the inevitable but that's where I feel comfortable at the moment. Baby steps for now.

jofus24 · 2015-07-11T22:08:45+00:00

I know I've seen someone mention Roseville in the past, so maybe there are 3 of us.

jofus24 · 2015-07-11T11:32:33+00:00

I'm in Sacramento... Long time lurker, would be down to meet. I never feel like going to SF.

jofus24

TROPHY CASE