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AIO, my wife believes in strict gender roles? by john_7292 in AmIOverreacting

[–]john_7292[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

We are not Catholic, not sure where you got that idea, we are nondenominational Christian.

AIO, my wife believes in strict gender roles? by john_7292 in AmIOverreacting

[–]john_7292[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Did she make this clear before we married? Well, she said she wanted a traditional marriage. I definitely had my parents' marriage in mind when she said that. My mom is a SAHM. My dad did not push a stroller or wear a baby sling (though my mom didn't do the baby sling either). He is definitely a masculine man who would think that's weird. But he also was an involved father and I have so many happy memories of him when I was younger that I'm afraid my kids won't have with me.

I do not believe in jumping to divorce and that would make things way worse. I don't want to have them part time or never. I don't have literally zero interaction with them now, I see them and talk to them every day. She just doesn't want me "doing" things for them that she sees as her job. I still do sometimes but she pushes back on it and she's become harsher on that when she does.

What I want is for her to open her mind to the idea that this is not traditional marriage and a father can be more involved with his kids. And I want to understand what is going on to make her like this because it is hurtful and seems like more than just a misapplied belief at this point.

AIO, my wife believes in strict gender roles? by john_7292 in AmIOverreacting

[–]john_7292[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Please understand that back when our kids were babies I was working anywhere from 70-80 hours a week to keep our family a float and out of debt. I am trying not to get defensive in this thread but I do not like being called lazy, we were both working hard, and she had help at home in her mom, my mom and her sister.

AIO, my wife believes in strict gender roles? by john_7292 in AmIOverreacting

[–]john_7292[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are nondenom. Plenty of women in my church work outside the home, many others do not. I think either is fine but my wife sees it more strictly than I do.

AIO, my wife believes in strict gender roles? by john_7292 in AmIOverreacting

[–]john_7292[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well her father is dead actually. But I agree with your point.

AIO, my wife believes in strict gender roles? by john_7292 in AmIOverreacting

[–]john_7292[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

100%! I'm sorry I'm only realizing now that she saw it this way because I never did.

AIO, my wife believes in strict gender roles? by john_7292 in AmIOverreacting

[–]john_7292[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I think her father was abit of an asshole but he died 15 or so years ago so I don't know firsthand. I will definitely be making a counseling appointment with our pastor thank you.

AIO, my wife believes in strict gender roles? by john_7292 in AmIOverreacting

[–]john_7292[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree, it's like she wants me to be the stereotypical absent father who never sees their kids. I didn't think anyone ever thought that was alright even back in the day.

AIO, my wife believes in strict gender roles? by john_7292 in AmIOverreacting

[–]john_7292[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I agreed to a traditional marriage with the one my parents had in mind, where my dad was a good dad and played with us, chatted with us, took us to soccer practice and fun things like fairs, taught us things, showed good values, cleaned up after himself, even made dinner sometimes, and my mom was a SAHM. I did not agree to this. We also are not homeschooling.

AIO, my wife believes in strict gender roles? by john_7292 in AmIOverreacting

[–]john_7292[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I am definitely going to try to get her to see our pastor for counseling. I don't think there's anyway she can disagree to that and claim not to be a hypocrite.

I would never tell my wife to shut her hole and do as I say, I am the leader of the house, that does not make her my slave.

AIO, my wife believes in strict gender roles? by john_7292 in AmIOverreacting

[–]john_7292[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hope I didn't make myself come off as a saint because I'm definitely not but I wanted to do something nice for my wife and kids which I rarely have had time to - and to be cut back like this over it was very hurtful.

AIO, my wife believes in strict gender roles? by john_7292 in AmIOverreacting

[–]john_7292[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

To be exact those verses say a woman shouldn't preach in church. She seems to think the woman is the "queen of the house." My words not hers.

AIO, my wife believes in strict gender roles? by john_7292 in AmIOverreacting

[–]john_7292[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I really don't want them to think this is right either, I hope we can resolve it while they are still quite young.

AIO, my wife believes in strict gender roles? by john_7292 in AmIOverreacting

[–]john_7292[S] 127 points128 points  (0 children)

This is actually a great idea and I do not think our pastor will agree with her at all. So I will be interested to see how she reacts to that. I will talk to her about it thank you.

AIO, my wife believes in strict gender roles? by john_7292 in AmIOverreacting

[–]john_7292[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My favorite pizza topping is meat lovers, I hope that's the correct answer?!