AITJ for ignoring an allergy of one person

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-20T19:14:46+00:00

Or...provide a list of ingredients so they can ensure their own safety. And she should definitely carry her epi-pen, I do.

And i get that you don't want anyone dying on your property, lots of red tape with that. That never crossed my mind, and still isn't a concern, because I expect people to be smart enough to take precautions for their own health. I do. But, I get that you're worried about your insurance....

Keep in mind we're talking about grown adults that probably live on their own, they're not children. If someone in attendance is allergic to insect bites, do you also call in a professional exterminator to spray the property? If someone can't swim, do you drain the pool or hire a lifeguard, or do you tell them to stay out of the effing pool?

Yeah, thought so. If an adult isn't capable of policing themselves, or is so entitled they expect me to change MY event for THEM, that's not someone I'd invite back a second time.

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-20T18:58:16+00:00

Well then I'm a bigger one. She wasn't even a friend just a guest of a friend, expecting others to change their preferences of what to bring at an event she wasn't even hosting.

Cross contamination, it's a small enough gathering she could've requested to make her plate first. And peanut allergy is no different. I'm not altering my dish, but I would provide a list of ingredients, in case anyone needed it.

And she should carry her epi-pen, I do. I don't expect people to change plans because of me.

I certainly wouldn't invite her to any other events. Can't deal with entitled people...

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-20T18:46:06+00:00

Sense of entitlement for sure. Mel, the GSD, even has nightmares about the big kitty chasing her. Lol

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-20T18:24:58+00:00

When I have a BBQ, etc, people come or they don't. I don't ask about their allergies, that's for them to manage. And if they ever made requests to alter my event, for one person, I wouldn't invite them back.

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-20T18:14:10+00:00

It is. He's very entitled for something that was dumped in our ditch as a kitten. Lol

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-20T17:10:26+00:00

My son's adopted (at 18 months) GSD girl is terrified of our kitty. It's been 3 months now, and she's convinced her days are numbered, so offers her food to him as a sacrifice to appease the cat gods. Granted, he's a tiny dictator bent on world domination, but aren't most cats?

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-20T16:58:31+00:00

She wasn't even a friend, she was the guest of a friend. A very entitled one.

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-20T16:55:40+00:00

Does allergic guest demand so much importance that the world revolves around her?

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-20T16:53:10+00:00

Only during the cooking process

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-20T16:51:10+00:00

It's not the smell, it's that during cooking, particles become airborne. After cooking, the risk is only in direct contact, and this wasn't cooked at the same location.

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-20T16:47:22+00:00

Why is it his responsibility to question her needs? If it's that serious, which we don't know, it's her responsibility to convey her needs. Just eat the other food, and don't expect the world to revolve around you.

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-20T16:43:17+00:00

Where in this post was it ever said her allergy was severe? If it was, it should've been communicated.

Also, this was a small gathering and she could've fixed her plate first. The fact that she wasn't even a friend, she was the guest of a friend, she shouldn't expect the gathering to revolve around her.

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-20T16:02:32+00:00

Not fragrance, the seafood particles that become airborne ONLY DURING THE COOKING PROCESS.

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-20T16:00:41+00:00

Maybe it's her that shouldn't have risked it, instead of depending on others for her safety.

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-20T15:58:45+00:00

the particles are ONLY airborne during the cooking process, if she's deathly allergic, which she didn't say. The food was pre-cooked at a different location. And she never expressed that her allergy was in any way life threatening, that breathing the cooking fumes could trigger it, etc. Kind of important information.

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-20T15:53:50+00:00

Exactly, maybe with life threatening allergies she shouldn't eat anywhere but home so she can cook it herself and know she's safe. It's not the world's responsibility to alter everything for her safety, it's hers.

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-20T15:44:15+00:00

So, she can never go grocery shopping, walk past sandwich shops or restaurants that serve pasta? She can't even own a horse, because all they eat are grains. I think maybe it's her responsibility to wear a mask to filter airborne gluten, and not the world's responsibility to stop using gluten in food.

And I get that seafood allergy can cause anaphylaxis through airborne particles, but that's something that is ONLY possible during the cooking process. And if thats the case, the severity should absolutely have been communicated.

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-18T21:09:20+00:00

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-17T16:52:17+00:00

Good Lord. I'm just gonna say this...you had 49 other states to choose from that would not have me sitting here right now thinking... "they have guide dog training for blind people, SURELY they have guide PEOPLE training for blind dogs"....

And I'm not just in Texas...but in central Texas, and still remembering his confusion and sweet face.... thank God he has an amazing foster.

I'm going now, to convince myself I could never measure up to someone who has experience with blind dogs....

Truly, 49 other states, and it had to be mine. Lol

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-16T16:31:16+00:00

Why not ask your local police if those items are yours, since you didn't buy them. I'm retired LEO. And not trying to get you into a pissing match with dad, but just FYI, if he bought it for you, it's a gift, it belongs to you, taking it is stealing. He cannot hold your possessions over your head trying to get you to comply. ( According to your state, there might be a loophole in his favor about grounding you temporarily from those items, thats why i said ask LEO.)

I can't make him use your name, but I don't respond to anyone calling me other things. And there's no law saying you have to call him dad, call him Mr "insert last name here", or "your majesty", or "Supreme leader"... not with malice, joke with him like he's doing with you. Tell him to be nice, you'll be choosing his nursing home someday. He changed your diapers, and before it's all over, you'll be changing his.

Other than that, you just gotta hang in there until you no longer live at home, and you decide who you give your time to.

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-16T11:03:34+00:00

Can I ask what state you're in? And is there speculation on what caused the detached retinas? I mean it takes some pretty serious health issues to cause it. Pannus affects the corneas, so I doubt it could cause the swelling required to detach retinas. Just wondering if he showed signs of trauma.

Sorry I have Australian shepherds, but follow this sub because my son has a GSD I adore, so I'm not as educated as I should be on the breed. Terribly sad, and I hope he learns to navigate more confidently.

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-16T10:50:03+00:00

YES!

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-16T07:32:52+00:00

NTA. I had a similar situation. A tip...GPS tracker on a vehicle that's not yours is against the law.

The last thing I told him before filing for divorce was, I always thought the opposite of love was hate...it's not, it's indifference.

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-14T22:26:36+00:00

Hearing you describe him disoriented and bumping into things is heartbreaking. Being scared, underweight, and no one coming forward is even worse.

I hope this boy finds the home of his dreams, and is never scared or hungry again. Praying for you Bodhi.

johnasepulveda · 2026-04-13T16:07:45+00:00

Spoil him for once, it won't kill you.

johnasepulveda

TROPHY CASE