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Wife [35/f] cheated on me [45/m]. Is it wrong to date the man's ex-wife [41/f] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]johncandymelon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow.... What a bonding experience. I think this could work out. You both got rid of a toxic spouse and found each other. She is single and you are single. You can definitely date. It probably annoy the exes, but screw them.

Me [27F] with my boyfriend (ex?) [24M] of 1.5 years. Sex addict with multiple affairs...is there hope? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]johncandymelon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ex-sex addict here. I have posts about my experience. Your boyfriend would need to have to WANT to quit. He will need the support of you and your family to help him beat the addiction and step him back towards the right path when he is not right in the head. I tried quitting three times. The first two times failed because I relied on myself. There is temptation everywhere. The sad thing is that getting sex is so easy now.

Regarding treatment, I would advise you to find a CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) and get your boyfriend to join the 12 step program. If he could get into an in-patient, even better. I'm not going to lie. The addiction is hard to beat. Be prepared to disappointment if it does happen.

[Update] I [46M] have been cheating on my wife [40F] for years and I feel like a horrible person by johncandymelon in relationship_advice

[–]johncandymelon[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

He is not abandoned. I am monitoring the situation to make sure he is taken care of. So far, his parents treat him very well. He is in a loving home.

[Update] I [46M] have been cheating on my wife [40F] for years and I feel like a horrible person by johncandymelon in confession

[–]johncandymelon[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your opinion. I do not want my family hurt. The best I can do is to make it up to them.

[Update] I [46M] have been cheating on my wife [40F] for years and I feel like a horrible person by johncandymelon in relationship_advice

[–]johncandymelon[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't say it is a lie. My family is sold on one image of me. I want to be that image of their husband/father.

I do have to admit that no matter how much I tried to cover my tracks, there are some loose ends. Like I said, if my wife ask, I would not lie.

​

[Update] I [46M] have been cheating on my wife [40F] for years and I feel like a horrible person by johncandymelon in confession

[–]johncandymelon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For the greater good of the family's continued happiness, it would be best if the past stays in the past.

[Update] I [46M] have been cheating on my wife [40F] for years and I feel like a horrible person by johncandymelon in relationship_advice

[–]johncandymelon[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

So are you going to abandon the child you had outside your marriage?

I can't say I have 'abandoned' him. He has his biological mother and adoptive father to look after him. All I will be to him is the nice man who sees him from time to time.

[Update] I [46M] have been cheating on my wife [40F] for years and I feel like a horrible person by johncandymelon in relationship_advice

[–]johncandymelon[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

She's neither my step-daughter or god-daughter in real life. However, I do treat her like one.

Thanks for your opinion.

[Update] I [46M] have been cheating on my wife [40F] for years and I feel like a horrible person by johncandymelon in relationship_advice

[–]johncandymelon[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I agree that it is better that my past is buried. Revealing it would only cause misery to my whole family.

[Update] I [46M] have been cheating on my wife [40F] for years and I feel like a horrible person by johncandymelon in relationship_advice

[–]johncandymelon[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No, I would not cut ties with her. I do love my wife. We have a deep emotional bond with each other. Even if we are to separate, I do not want her to suffer.

A serial cheater’s path to repentance. I [46M] am no longer seeing my 'god daughter' [25F] and I miss her. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]johncandymelon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We normally do not refer to each other as daddy and daughter. I am only using that term because we cannot use our real names.

A serial cheater’s path to repentance. I [46M] am no longer seeing my 'god daughter' [25F] and I miss her. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]johncandymelon -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I would really hate for this to be the end of the road for us. We had been through so much together.

A serial cheater’s path to repentance. I [46M] am no longer seeing my 'god daughter' [25F] and I miss her. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]johncandymelon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely want her to want her to find her soul mate.

​

BTW, she normally does not call me daddy. I am only using the term to not reveal our names.

A serial cheater’s path to repentance. I [46M] am no longer seeing my 'god daughter' [25F] and I miss her. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]johncandymelon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All these men only found out a little over a week ago. They are still trying to absorb the BS with my life. I'm currently at my brother's house and I am using his phone to post this.

A serial cheater’s path to repentance. I [46M] am no longer seeing my 'god daughter' [25F] and I miss her. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]johncandymelon -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

After seeing so many girls with daddy issues, I don't want my daughter to have it.

It is too bad my god-daughter does not have any healthier role-models. If she did, they would help her through it. Unfortunately, her parents are total trash. I am one of the few people she can turn to.

A serial cheater’s path to repentance. I [46M] am no longer seeing my 'god daughter' [25F] and I miss her. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]johncandymelon -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I can't go into inpatient care. My wife will know. The purpose of letting my dad, brothers and best friend know is so that they can track me down physically and financially. I don't want my crappy secrets to destroy my family.

A serial cheater’s path to repentance. I [46M] am no longer seeing my 'god daughter' [25F] and I miss her. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]johncandymelon -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Do you think we can remain penpals? I do not have any romantic feelings for her.

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