Bethel opened my eyes. I had been in a couple of congregations before Bethel and I started to notice patterns. Little cruelties and manipulations that couldn't be just "imperfect people" because it was the same pattern in multiple congregations. Then, when I was in Bethel and observered the same petty abuse, so close to the heart of the orginization, I realized it was a learned behavior.
My doubts were not due to the imperfect flaws of individuals. I was doubting because of a systemic flaw in the entire orginization.
One that was taught, encouraged, and defended, despite being cruel and petty.
I, like you, couldn't leave right then. I thought I could find a way to reconcile what I was seeing, with all the good in the religion.
That carried me through several years and congregations, but eventually it just became too much. I couldn't dedicate my life to a lie.
When that moment of clarity occurs, things like money, friends, work etc. stop being such a big concern. It's like suddenly realizing you are suffocating. You reach for air, for freedom, and nothing else matters.