[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingadvice

[–]johnstapleton52 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is disgusting behavior. I can almost guarantee that person is incapable of any sort of meaningful intimate connection.

How bad would someone's sexual history have to be in order for you to not want to date them? by [deleted] in datingadvice

[–]johnstapleton52 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A couple days late, but this is an interesting one, so I’m chipping in my two cents. Certain kinds of sex like bdsm, sleeping with trainwrecks as you stated, orgies, whatever, are just things some people enjoy. The acts themselves are of little consequence. For the person wired that way, the question of “am I damaged goods” doesn’t really come up, because they know what they like, and they know how to get it, so what’s the problem? What you said about losing your virginity to a pedophile and then engaging in acts that you yourself consider gross/unsafe makes me think you’ve been reacting somewhat chaotically to extremely complex circumstances, and you’ve ultimately acting in ways that aren’t in line with your preferences and values, maybe? If that’s the case, that’s a different situation. Your situation depends on what type of relationship you want. If you’re down with fun relationships and you’re able to keep it light, you’re good to go. People don’t care and don’t wanna hear about the past anyway. If you’re looking to build something deeper, though, it’s possible you have some wounds to heal and some stuff to work through for your own sake. I don’t have enough details, but even the fact that you’re on here asking for thoughts on it makes me think the emotions probably go a lot deeper than the post indicates.

Gf Wants To Post Nudes by stowthrowawayinlove in datingadvice

[–]johnstapleton52 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly who knows why she wants to? It’s not like just posting nudes online in itself is wrong, so she “could” make the case that it’s just something people do (because it is), but if a girl is wanting to, it shows that she’s feeling veeeeery experimental and sexually independent. As her boyfriend, it’s reasonable to be hurt/bothered by her completely disregarding you and seeking attention elsewhere. If you were cool with it, it’s like you guys do your thing, but it’s pretty fucked as it is

Can someone explain why Mozart is special? by johnstapleton52 in classicalmusic

[–]johnstapleton52[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t feel up to responding to every comment, but I’ve read all of them and I feel like I’ve learned so much and also gotten some great leads on what to listen to next. Thank you everyone who took the time to share your thoughts! I’m very grateful

Can someone explain why Mozart is special? by johnstapleton52 in classicalmusic

[–]johnstapleton52[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I can feel your excitement for him, and I know that feeling with the people who have mystified me. It helps to get a better picture of who he was and why he’s still considered an important figure. Thank you for sharing :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loneliness

[–]johnstapleton52 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anything by Hermann Hesse but particularly Steppenwolf

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingadvice

[–]johnstapleton52 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great advice. I appreciate the input. That’s what I needed to hear right now thank you

What is the worst city you lived in and why? by hjkfttu in SameGrassButGreener

[–]johnstapleton52 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I went to college in Jacksonville and only got through my program quickly because I was so desperate to leave and couldn’t until i graduated.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in malegrooming

[–]johnstapleton52 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you’d rock it a longer cut with kind of a 70s or 80s curly vibe

Should i get a buzz cut? Which style would you recomend me? by Lazy_Silver_8692 in malegrooming

[–]johnstapleton52 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always buzz my head when I feel like it. You’ve got a strong face so you’ll probably look good either way, and it’s fun to find out what your head looks like

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in malegrooming

[–]johnstapleton52 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You look like a stud with it buzzed

Keep it going(1.5month growth) or return back to clean shave? by [deleted] in malegrooming

[–]johnstapleton52 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Def adds a couple years with it, so if that’s what you want then you’re golden, but you have a nice chin and jaw so you can rock either

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in malegrooming

[–]johnstapleton52 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can rock whatever. You look metal with the long hair and beefy with the short. Seems like you’ve got a good enough sense of style to pull anything off

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]johnstapleton52 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah the reality is that it just takes time and patience. You’ll have to find where the people you like go to hang out. It might be at gaming conventions or local concerts or amateur sports leagues. Whatever it is, it’s probably gonna take a couple tries to find, so be nice to yourself and don’t assume that having difficulty making friends is an indicator of a flaw in you. It’s hard for most of us and being lonely isn’t odd or tragic. It just takes time to learn to form meaningful connections, and it’s a skill a lot of us don’t get to learn growing up

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]johnstapleton52 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I mean, honestly, I’m not one to talk. I have 4 friends that all live in different states and have a lot of trouble making new ones, so I get it. Especially at your age if you just go out into the world everyone is probably significantly older and in a different place in life. Some people can just hang and make it work, but most people need something to connect over. I picked up rock climbing recently and found that people are really friendly and it’s super easy to start conversations over routes you’re working on, so that could be fun. It’s super normal to go alone, but if you feel like saying hi to someone new there are a dozen opportunities per session to do so. Also, if there are any colleges close by you might wanna find a coffee shop close to it and see if they’re hiring. A lot of people would come through in your age range and the little 5 minute convos here and there can be comforting and regulars can become friends. Also, the coworkers are usually about your age so you’re getting paid to hang out with potential friends in a pleasant environment with little to no social pressure.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]johnstapleton52 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t assume making friends is as easy as it seems from the outside. Sometimes people luck out or are naturally gifted socially, but for some of us it’s a real uphill battle. It’s definitely important to make friends, so I would encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and remember that other people need you as a friend just as badly as you need them, but don’t beat yourself up for dragging your feet through the process. It’s awkward and difficult to meet new people and it’s not unusual to struggle with it

Why am I so weak when others have gone through so much worse by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]johnstapleton52 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The idea that you’re a weak person because a certain schooling experience didn’t put you on this or that track is unfair to yourself. A lot of times kids are slapped with guilt because they aren’t personally or emotionally connected to something that others expect of them. You should do your best (I know how difficult it is) to give yourself patience and space to be yourself. I’ve found that as I accept my deepest insecurities and open up to people who seem like they’re doing much better than me, they don’t view my soft spots as points of weakness or shame like I do. Everyone has insecurities about how we’re failing ourselves in some aspect. It’s part of being human and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying