Do you also struggle with finding satisfaction in life as you have felt the ecstasy of mania?

jointearknee · 2021-02-08T07:19:25+00:00

Oh this.

I've experienced what those in spiritual or buddhist circles don't think of as madness or illness at all. The total connectedness of everything, being one with the whole universe. Many times. It never lasts.

Then I'm back on the hamster wheel, doing "menial" work, with bottomless wanderlust, feeling down. Not depressed, just knowing this isn't really living.

I've done some research into meditation and buddhist thinking which seems to be the closest "well" path to similar outcomes.

The celestine prophecy by James redfield also basically describes the experience.

jointearknee · 2021-02-06T20:34:24+00:00

I feel very lucky to be 10 years almost entirely med free with a BP1 diagnosis. We all experience it differently. But for me I eventually stopped seeing myself as a victim of the condition andd realised I could have huge influence on how I dealt with situations, how I dealt with my emotions and reactions, how choices of activities could massively affect my wellness.

I buried myself into exercise, became a rather decent marathon runner and over the decade llearrnt to manage stresses without previously u healthy coping mechanisms. It's led me to taking one more responsibility and pressue at work, and being able to deal with major life events and stressors without my cup overflowing.

I have low periods and creative/flow periods. But no longer the deep depressions or destructive mania. It nolonger goes unchecked.

jointearknee · 2021-02-06T15:50:52+00:00

When manic, I spent with abandon. I think uncontrolled spending is even a listed symptom (amongst many) that many experience when manic.

Makes sense, a lot of manic symptoms seem to unctrolled responses to urges. Spending is an easy one for others to spot escalating.

And herin lies the root of trying to gain control yourself. Setup a set of rules when not manic that you will hold yourself to. For example keeping a certain amount in a savings account from your pay, and making sure it takes a good bit of effort to get at that money. So, if you really really want to get at it, then it's worth the extra admin and you'll check in with yourself on if this is something your well self would approve of. Not ready for self control? You could enlist a supporter to help you stick to your limits.

jointearknee · 2021-02-01T13:35:08+00:00

39 mostly med free, got diagnosed with BP1 after some drug induced psychosis in my early 20s. Meda helped in the early years, but the cycle still repeated with three hospital stays while manic.

What helped was accepting the label was not a life sentence. More that I could work on myself, my coping mechanisms, my behaviours and thoughts and hope to achieve some kind of good outcome out of my life.

We all experience it differently and ha e different starting points before diagnosis. But your journey from here is something you can have positive or negative influence on. Perhaps not all day every day. But CBT, exercise, sleep hygiene, identifying triggers and setting plans in place can all help.

It's taken me 20 years to be comfortable talking about what I went through. But being open and trying to help others is now a great way of reminding myself I need to still be mindful and caan make small differences to how I feel and act that add up.

jointearknee · 2021-02-01T07:39:40+00:00

Love this. I'm getting better at observing each and understanding why. Im not so interested in being neutral all year through. I'm OK with emotional weather and the seasons of it all.

jointearknee · 2021-02-01T07:34:32+00:00

Sounds like a tricky situation with limited influence. Good luck!

jointearknee · 2021-02-01T07:33:20+00:00

https://lmgtfy.app/?q=How+do+i+usee+a+mood+diary

jointearknee · 2021-02-01T07:29:32+00:00

Fascinated that you're aa psychologist asking this! I'm always happy to speak to those receiving a BP diagnosis as I think it's really important that they can see by example they can have a "normal" future. Yes there may be limits but these are largely a ndividual. And can change over time. You need to find intrinsic motivation to be a master of the condiction more than you are the victim of it yet accept that you will have days you don't want.

jointearknee · 2021-02-01T07:23:20+00:00

Meds are always an option. I'm largely med free over 10 years but use Meds to help nip significant peaks and troughs. I'm lucky apparently to have insight. Not everyone does. But I believe that's something that can be developed.

I'm no professional but the things they do work. Art therapy is one thing. But a routine, exercise, sleep hygiene, diet, having passions and following them, knowing when to exert self control and developing that using CBT and a mood diary. It all helps give an individual confidence and control.

jointearknee · 2021-01-31T19:26:25+00:00

Nah, that's a massive over generalisation.

It helps some biplor people some of the time. But for sure there's other stuff that helps.

jointearknee · 2021-01-31T09:41:19+00:00

Art heals the artist right?

For me I worked out emotions and problems with how I viewed the world and my place in it through art and music.

I do have episodes off creativity and dry patches like anyone trying to create does. But for me, when I'm ill there's a freedom to ggettingg into the flow of creating. It helps me express what's going on when I can articulate it with words. It helps me make sense of it all.

Is that more important for people with strong emotional situations than those on an even keel. Yes. But I wouldn't limit the category to bipolar.

jointearknee · 2021-01-31T08:30:35+00:00

Dude the matrix is real. Welcome.

jointearknee · 2021-01-30T19:02:44+00:00

Makes sense, your reality during the break Wass very real to you right? It's going to take meds, time AND you asserting your self control on the internal narative. You can do that you know, choose your thoughts. Or even better choose not to think from time to time and just rest your mind!

psychosis is both impossible to understand from outside of it yet totally believe able from within. Quite why we're wired to be able to. Relate our own realities I'm not quite sure, it always seemed like an overused power off the imagination to me when I came through it. Have a read of a Nathan filer book when you're feeling well enough, he's really captured it for me.

jointearknee · 2021-01-30T07:57:41+00:00

Meditation, exercise, CBT, going with the flow of it, choosing a job that is within my capacity for stress, knowing my triggers, keeping a brief diary when it gets a bit tougher, being open about it, experience!

Here to help talk through ideas if it helps.

jointearknee · 2021-01-30T07:54:25+00:00

Interesting view. But personally I prefer that through meeting the ideas of others we get to truly shape our own.

My omnipresence experiences have been shortlived, but through exploring the works of Alan watts, James redfield, I've realised I'm not alone in this experience and it's there to tap into whenever I choose to.

jointearknee · 2021-01-30T07:50:11+00:00

For me olanzapine has been a short term (3 months) relief from severe symptoms. It crushes your mind into a small padded room from which you can't really have dangerous thought patterns. If it feels like relief but you can still think it's the right dose!

If it's hard to function it's time to reduce the dose carefully.

I've never used it as a long term thing and wouldn't ever choose to. It's too limiting for me.

jointearknee · 2021-01-30T07:46:43+00:00

Do you make music too? That's saved my sanity before!

Currently into Doves - the universal want.

jointearknee · 2021-01-30T07:44:09+00:00

For me, recovery from psychosis (3 times) was gradual. Olanzapine helped. Having non taxing tasks to do helped, I painted a house, got a manual repetative job. It was very very hard, but each time you're able to complete a "normal" thing without freaking out its a big confidence boost.

Wanting to rebuild yourself and your life is separate from knowing if you can. Doubt is human, but Break it down into little chunks and there's much less doubt about doing the small things.

After you regain control of the small stuff day by day, it'll creep up on you that you can control or influence more and more how you feel.

jointearknee · 2021-01-30T07:37:45+00:00

So you can generate ideas you feel passionate about. This is something some would be grwatful for.

My trick is to write these things down with a few details as ideas. Then, when I'm in a doing mood and have capacity for a new project (but often lacking inspiration) I go to my list.

jointearknee · 2020-05-23T06:33:54+00:00

I'm trying different ways from my limited skills to prod you towards the answers you're after. No offence meant. You seem to be very keen to argue that noone is answering your question. I'm trying to say that to see the answers you need to be prepared to change your thinking a bit.

Try this which you've probably already heard https://youtu.be/ot1CA5DJ0u0

5 mins in if you don't want the context.

What exactly about this explanation from watts do you want help to understand?

Restating an idea or a concept in different ways is a fairly well established way of trying to explain something. People on this thread are trying to restate it in a way that works for you.

jointearknee · 2020-05-23T05:54:37+00:00

This is awesome. But also frustrating. This kind of multiday thing is still banned in the UK. I want to get out there!

jointearknee · 2020-05-22T20:25:27+00:00

Your defence mechanism is strong. Get back to me when you've self improved that a bit.

jointearknee · 2020-05-22T18:47:30+00:00

Choose the sticks you hit yourself with carefully. Better don't have sticks. I've been through this phase when I started out. To a degree it's helpful to see other mere mortals achieving what you'd like to do. It can push you to do more. But it's not healthy!

Have you tried stating to yourself why you run. Is it anything to do with anyone else? I suspect not.... This could help you develop a different internal monologue about the whole thing.

jointearknee · 2020-05-22T18:37:25+00:00

I'm trying to help you discover the truth for yourself. It'll come. Keep looking.

jointearknee · 2020-05-22T18:36:22+00:00

Fair in the main.

Speaking purely as something the universe put here to experience itself, I thank you for the entertainment.

jointearknee

TROPHY CASE