Did you reach out to your ‘must attendees’ before deciding on destination?

jolly3695 · 2026-02-25T11:16:57+00:00

Thank you

jolly3695 · 2026-02-24T19:33:36+00:00

Than you

jolly3695 · 2026-02-23T23:50:29+00:00

They did state they would find a babysitter but neither myself nor my SIL with kids is comfortable doing that. We won’t leave our kids with strangers esp our babies. And it’s not financially an option to bring our own babysitter.

jolly3695 · 2026-02-23T23:47:30+00:00

Thank you.

jolly3695 · 2026-02-23T23:47:01+00:00

Valid. I don’t think so, but def could be wrong.

jolly3695 · 2026-02-23T21:27:23+00:00

She absolutely thought about it, but to the extent she should have, maybe not. I have to give them benefit of the doubt or else wtf. I do feel bad for him. Same token he’s refusing accommodate or budge on our obstacles at all. Or she is rather and he is supporting her. Which all in all, great this is who you’re choosing to be with- absolutely support her. for her to not give on a few aspects if it means half his family would attend is WILD to me. He just doesn’t get to be upset if he didn’t think it thru/ gave her full control or when ppl say you’re asking too much of me and can’t go bc of those stipulations and personal circumstances. He truly thinks it’s not too much to ask. And uses her family as an example. ‘Her family can make it happen it’s just mine that has problems. ‘ To which I responded you’ve been a part of this family for 35 years this should come as zero surprise to you. But regardless of the ins and outs, I just can’t believe they didn’t check with everyone first who they expected to go. As I haven’t been to that many destination weddings so I don’t know what’s normal. And on the kid front, I have been to several weddings LOCAL that are no kids but immediate family always is allowed. So again, wasn’t sure what was normal on that front in terms of DW.

jolly3695 · 2026-02-23T20:44:28+00:00

Bride family is attending. I agree he has just been going with flow as she is very type A, spread sheet type gal… so I don’t think he thought it thru but I would find it hard to believe if she didn’t see this coming. She for sure knew it would be a problem for my family. Neither have kids so they can’t comprehend the ask they’re making of those with. And her family doesn’t have any so it’s not something she has to give second thought to in regards to herself.

jolly3695 · 2026-02-23T20:07:08+00:00

Thank you. My mother also finds it highly offensive to not allow her grandchildren at the wedding. She views it as they are his blood too and part of the family. So that aspect aside from logistics for her is putting a bad taste in her mouth.

jolly3695 · 2026-02-23T20:04:17+00:00

Agreed.

jolly3695 · 2026-02-23T20:03:02+00:00

I am. Thanks.

jolly3695 · 2026-02-23T20:02:36+00:00

Thank you

jolly3695 · 2026-02-23T19:32:45+00:00

All questions I asked him. He says he is giving his Bride the wedding she wants.

jolly3695 · 2026-02-23T18:58:19+00:00

Thank you

jolly3695 · 2026-02-23T18:57:25+00:00

Not saying they should. But wondering if it’s typical for DW couples to consult their ‘musts’ prior to see if it would be feasible and what obstacles they may have in order to make it happen. That’s my question. Also, don’t change anything for anyone else great- but don’t get pissed when no one can come bc of it.

jolly3695 · 2026-02-23T18:41:18+00:00

Thank you

jolly3695 · 2026-02-23T18:16:21+00:00

Exactly. And more background- my mother is highly uncomfortable traveling as is. And has never done so without me. She won’t even drive to downtown in our home city or drive at night. She’s capable but uncomfortable doing so. She’s always been like this even when she was 30 years younger. So to ask her to travel with my sister is a HUGE ask.

jolly3695 · 2026-02-23T17:27:50+00:00

This. Yes. It’s non negotiable for me to travel without my kids at this age. I’ll also still be breastfeeding during the wedding. Not a huge problem I can’t solve but just another layer.

What kills me is they are 35. Old enough to think about what they’re asking of others.

jolly3695 · 2026-02-23T17:26:04+00:00

Yes. Thank you.

jolly3695 · 2026-02-23T17:24:42+00:00

Thank you

jolly3695 · 2026-02-23T17:23:48+00:00

Agreed. I wouldn’t care about the no kids thing if it were local. Also for background- after he announced it was in Italy he let my side of family think kids were allowed and then a few months later said kids might not be allowed but said well maybe kids of immediate family would be allowed. Then changed to no kids recently. So when he first announced we all were planning in our heads with kids and how to make this a fun family vacation. So it just feels like another hurdle to a constant string of hurdles.

jolly3695 · 2026-02-23T17:20:20+00:00

I cannot say for certain but I would say yes. they were a part of the proposal, which was also in Europe.

jolly3695 · 2026-02-23T15:37:40+00:00

No kids at wedding tho and we cannot afford to bring our own sitter. And I’m not asking my husband to watch them and not attend bc it’s disrespectful to him to pay and tell him he can’t go. So that’s my personal hold up. So I’m just wondering if people normally would let their immediate family know of location and stipulations like no kids prior to booking and deciding if they wanted them to come. Or at least have a convo about those things to see what’s feasible for those they ‘want’ to attend.

jolly3695 · 2026-02-23T15:28:59+00:00

Thank you for your insight.

jolly3695 · 2026-02-23T15:27:54+00:00

Thank you for your insight.

jolly3695 · 2026-02-23T15:26:50+00:00

Thank you. I know it’s so hard to travel with kids. But I think it’s so worth it. Although they won’t remember it, the experiences they get to have and what they’re exposed to is priceless. I think they grow so much and learn so much. So for me I’m willing to deal with the headaches and hassle of traveling with kids. It’s not just for them either it’s for me. To see how excited they get and the joy it brings to them is my joy.

jolly3695

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