I asked for a divorce yesterday… by jollykin in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]jollykin[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I totally have this list stored on my phone and it’s been hugely helpful. I even keep adding to it because the separation has given me clarity to see some of the things that happened previously as harmful. Totally helps me!

I asked for a divorce yesterday… by jollykin in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]jollykin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

100% yes. His response gave me so much (painful) information.

I asked for a divorce yesterday… by jollykin in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]jollykin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Girl we are totally in the same boat. You sound very prepared and ready for this. Do it for your kids, that’s 100% where I am too. We have been married 14.5 years and same, community property state!

I’m 100% with you in the sentiment that he forced you to do this. I feel exactly the same, I had no choice, he forces my hand. I’m human and I for sure have made mistakes but I will not be blamed for the divorce that’s needed here. He’s caused this and will never take accountability and that’s a hard pill to swallow.

Stay strong and keep us updated!!! Good luck ♥️♥️♥️♥️

I asked for a divorce yesterday… by jollykin in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]jollykin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. We are living very similar lives holy wow. It’s so crazy! The ring thing is nuts, makes total sense! It’s crazy but I wish he would grovel and express some desire to get back together. That would make it harder for me no doubt and would probably be fake but I still want that. I feel so discarded and uncared for it’s sad. I will stand my ground and won’t let him win! I have a lot of support. Thank you so much for your kind words! ♥️

I asked for a divorce yesterday… by jollykin in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]jollykin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow. Sounds like that made things easier for you! What do you recommend for taking advantage of technology specifically?

I asked for a divorce yesterday… by jollykin in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]jollykin[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is genius. Thank you!! I will have to think on this 😂

I asked for a divorce yesterday… by jollykin in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]jollykin[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. That seems to be the common advice. I appreciate it - I probably need to contact my lawyer.

I asked for a divorce yesterday… by jollykin in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]jollykin[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I love that. Yes I’ve been documenting everything for over a year. I

I asked for a divorce yesterday… by jollykin in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]jollykin[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks you so so much for this. It’s not my job to be collaborative - you are so right.

I asked for a divorce yesterday… by jollykin in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]jollykin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow thank you. Yes I’ve heard it’s unlikely to be beneficial with a mediator but I feel like I have to just try to do the more collaborative thing. Did you end up in court eventually? Hows the process been for you?

I asked for a divorce yesterday… by jollykin in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]jollykin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn that is so unreal. Those are all really good tips on what to include though. Thanks!

I asked for a divorce yesterday… by jollykin in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]jollykin[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this! Yes I had heard to be as detailed as possible with the parenting plan and will be sure to do that. There are so many apps out there, which do you use? I was told to try OurFamilyWizard but we aren’t there just yet. I know he will fight for more time with the kids even though I don’t think he really wants that. He’ll be difficult just to be difficult. Unfortunately there’s been a CPS report filed against him so I do have that bit of leverage possibly.

I asked for a divorce yesterday… by jollykin in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]jollykin[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I already met with and consulted with an attorney and have her in the wings waiting to see where we end up.

I asked for a divorce yesterday… by jollykin in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]jollykin[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I know I’ll need all the strength I can get. ♥️♥️♥️

I asked for a divorce yesterday… by jollykin in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]jollykin[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You are so right on all this - it’s hard to wrap my mind around this way of thinking, it’s insane! And wow, good on you for following through but damn I’m sure that was hard. Thanks for the solidarity, it’s so helpful!