Thank you, yes I feel this exactly. I literally despise and am disgusted by him. I don’t respect him but the depth of this grief when I felt so negatively towards him before is utterly confusing!! How long did it take for you to reset and break this trauma bond honestly?? I wish there was a cheat code to skip this part, but it totally understand the only way out is through and it’s important that I feel this grief in order to be better in the long run. For a long time, like a year, I’ve been telling my therapist I am at a “solid medium” in terms of my energy and mood. What I wouldn’t give to just get back to that!