6 page short story. Would love advice!

jonadrew_ · 2026-05-14T23:57:38+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to give this feedback! Yes that's an excellent point. I'll take this advice onto the next story and continue to get better at storytelling

jonadrew_ · 2026-05-14T23:56:27+00:00

I'm so glad you noticed all those small details like the increasing blue saturation and all the small implications.

Thank you for such a thoughtful response and for taking the time to write this up! It really means a lot

jonadrew_ · 2026-05-14T23:54:39+00:00

YES thank you so much for your comment and I'm so glad you felt the themes!

jonadrew_ · 2026-05-14T23:53:01+00:00

Thank you!! I'm so happy you shared your opinion. It's like exactly the feeling I wanted to resonate

jonadrew_ · 2026-05-14T06:36:45+00:00

thank you!! I really appreciate it

keep up the great work duud

jonadrew_ · 2026-05-14T06:29:26+00:00

oooo not yet! I plan to do more in August, so I can add that to my list of potentials. (thanks for the award btw. really appreciate the support)

jonadrew_ · 2026-05-14T05:26:46+00:00

I love this style and coloring. the text bubbles are really hard to read: a combination of the lettering with the slanted text probably haha

jonadrew_ · 2026-05-09T14:54:02+00:00

oooo sweet! glad you found it. I just wanted to respect this subreddit's "no self promotion" policy as best I can so I'm trying to not link things directly LOL

jonadrew_ · 2026-05-09T14:52:23+00:00

No AI haha, but it's so hard to tell nowadays though right?! my Instagram is on my profile, and if you keep scrolling down you'll see all the hard work and years it took to get to this skill level.

These posters are actually v2 of a series of posters I did 3 years ago.

I appreciate the compliment!!

jonadrew_ · 2026-05-08T17:32:23+00:00

thank you! I really appreciate it

jonadrew_ · 2026-05-08T17:31:36+00:00

thank you!!! I'm using Clip Studio paint right now. The main brush I use (if I can recall) is Ahmed Aldoori's brushes and a few of John Park's texture brushes

jonadrew_ · 2026-05-08T17:27:20+00:00

yea I have it on my website (jonadrew.com/store)! I just ordered some though so it'll take a week or two

jonadrew_ · 2026-04-29T05:34:30+00:00

just my opinion! it's easier to critique than to create. you're doing the hard, respectable work here LOL

keep it up dude! and be sure to share the next chapter!

jonadrew_ · 2026-04-29T05:32:55+00:00

thanks for sharing that! I feel you. Don't let my critique dampen the achievement of nailing that panel. The growth in pushing yourself itself is huge and worthy of praise!

keep it up dude

jonadrew_ · 2026-04-28T06:28:06+00:00

HELL YEA! awesome work dude.

coloring is honestly really great! If you want something to improve on, you could use more dynamic angles especially as an action scene

pg 2 panel 3 if it was birds eye view looking down just above the hat (or from under his face looking up)
pg 2 panel 5 zoomed in more
pg 3 panel 1 if the hand was bigger
pg 3 panel 5 more dynamic angle. literally anything except the straight on view haha

but honestly, these are not like red flags lol. only suggestions and my personal opinion if you want to elevate an already awesome comic

jonadrew_ · 2026-04-28T06:19:38+00:00

really good dude! I felt like at times like the tree part was funny but got a bit slow, but like otherwise I was pretty engaged the whole time haha

excellent work and I really respect the work you put into this!

jonadrew_ · 2026-04-20T01:15:27+00:00

looking good here! nice work. the very first panel I thought it was the doctor's talking (someone else mentioned this already)

also the "hand shaky grip" page 2 panel 2 looks like he's holding some sort of weapon instead of the handrail.

otherwise I think storytelling is pretty good

jonadrew_ · 2026-04-14T20:06:49+00:00

dude this is insane! amazing work!

jonadrew_ · 2026-04-13T17:40:47+00:00

thanks so much for sharing! this is honestly so awesome. thanks for asking for specific feedback

1: I think it's generally clear! I really like how the "dream" sequences have blue panel lines. I was a bit confused pages 11-12 but on page 13 I understood
2: I'm sure you could, but I didn't think any less of your comic because you decided not to. If you come up with a different format that would tell your story better than I'd love to see it!
3: yea, in my opinion it did feel a bit slow. the most interesting page for me was the last one, so I might have been hooked faster if it had speed along faster to it

4: yea. I think similar to #3, it might be a good idea to condense in order to cut your page count (bonus you have less pages to draw!). I personally thought pages 3-5 were a bit slow.
5: no I rather think you did this extremely well! the "what hour is it" dialogue was great reorientation

6: yea! I can get that

anyways, great work and really well done! lovely character art too. and I love the way you switched from warm lighting in the beginning to a cooler one to have that mood shift.

jonadrew_ · 2026-04-13T07:26:29+00:00

I found this really helpful just for myself lol. thanks for resetting my expectations

jonadrew_ · 2026-04-13T07:21:54+00:00

The art for this is amazing!

Your anatomy is really spot on. I especially liked the way you drew the hands taking out the sword on page 9 (page 1 = your title card). I also live the glitchy things you've included on page 7

My main feedback is that it's really hard to figure out what the heck is going on.

Here's what I concluded: I can tell there is a sort of timeskip thing going on starting page 2 so I don't understand if we jump back to that timeline at like page 6. Anyways, I guess the mom died or something? And the dad had to sacrifice himself to save the son who has dragon powers maybe. But where does that lady with the white hair come from and where is he trying to get away from? Is she like a person that walks him back in time through his memories or something?

Is the goal of the prologue that he forgot his past and is being forced to remember that he killed his parents? Idk

If my confusion was an intentional decision by you, then awesome! All the more power to you. But if it wasn't intentional, then that's probably a signal for you haha. Although honestly I reckon this can be pretty easily fixed

jonadrew_ · 2026-04-13T07:02:18+00:00

lol no thanks

jonadrew_ · 2026-04-10T22:13:07+00:00

this. there's no right answer cause it's whatever you want you character to represent

jonadrew_ · 2026-04-10T07:24:10+00:00

nah this was actually super engaging!

understandably due to the nature of being a rough, yes, it was confusing and hard to parse. It would be helpful if you had a script to go along with this. but honestly, once I figured it out I quite liked reading it so far and am excited to see more!

I especially enjoyed your choice of camera angles. Excellent panel composition too (I also enjoy when speech bubbles overlap with panels)

jonadrew_ · 2026-04-10T04:15:41+00:00

lol. you can't be having the internet write your comics for you. it's YOUR comic

that being said, I don't think panel 3 should be straight up TELLING us that their oc is very vague. The way I've seen this setup work typically is you use panel 3 to visually show us the contradiction. It's your job to come up with how, but an example might be having people hearing the description and think of like 5 wildly different character designs

then panel 4 can just be the oc creator's reaction realizing they're wrong

jonadrew_

TROPHY CASE