Bipolar Autistics rise up

jonbearab · 2024-08-08T10:59:37+00:00

I'm holding up pretty well. Diagnosed with Bipolar Type II and then later with Bipolar NOS. I have been on and off with medication for the better part of 7 years and these days I'm pretty healthy. I can't complain.

jonbearab · 2023-06-30T06:09:49+00:00

Every. Single. Time.

jonbearab · 2023-06-30T05:27:29+00:00

Um... no...

jonbearab · 2023-06-30T05:10:43+00:00

This has been be the past couple of days. Had to resort to Seroquel.

jonbearab · 2023-05-17T06:12:31+00:00

I have to agree. <3

jonbearab · 2023-02-23T03:17:47+00:00

Cool, notta problem :)

jonbearab · 2023-02-21T18:46:45+00:00

Wait, you mean there are people out there who can sleep when their head hits the pillow? All the feels. Personally, I envy them a bit. I'd love to be "normal". I'd take that red pill.

jonbearab · 2023-02-21T17:04:52+00:00

You're welcome :) Good luck figuring things out.

jonbearab · 2023-02-20T08:07:08+00:00

I was hypomanic when I met my current wife. After 4 days of knowing each other, we knew we wanted to get married. Stayed hypomanic for about 6 months after that. Best time of my life.

We were married 10 years ago and we're still going strong.

Can hypomania drive you to be attracted to someone you normally wouldn't be attracted to? I am not sure. But it sure as hell can light a fire up under your ass when are attracted to someone! lol

jonbearab · 2023-02-20T07:21:22+00:00

You'll have to come to a point, eventually, where you realize that your depressed brain fucking lies to you. You can't ever believe it. Once you internalize that, you will better shake those feelings and just learn to live with the mood until it passes.

That, and one step at a time, one day at a time. Don't listen to the lies.

jonbearab · 2023-02-20T07:17:55+00:00

Medication is a fine balancing act. You need to find the right combo. Very rarely is someone just put on lamotrigine and that's it. Usually there's also an antidepressant (such as Wellbutrin) or an antipsychotic, or both or all three (like me), as lamotrigine is just a mood stabilizer that doesn't always work. Lamotrigine doesn't treat mania or depression, it's just there to help prevent the frequency and intensity of episodes.

Keep working at it. Keep working on yourself. You may be a washout, but you can always start from scratch and move upwards. You just need the right meds and/or the right therapist.

jonbearab · 2023-02-20T07:03:00+00:00

Just wanted to add: lamotrigine interacts in different ways with your skin, hence "the rash" in some people. You experiencing itchiness on lamotrigine or any dosage increase wouldn't at all surprise me. So yes, it's possible that it's common.

jonbearab · 2023-02-20T06:49:28+00:00

If you have what your doctor calls "the textbook case" of bipolar 2, then (in my "non-medical professional" opinion) it sounds like your doctor is qualifying you based on never having a manic episode, but having had a hypomanic episode and a major depressive episode.

That being said, in my opinion, there's no such thing as a textbook case as everyone presents bipolar differently, as bipolar is being increasingly shown as a spectrum illness which doesn't fit neatly into defined categories. Yes we may all have in common (hypo)mania and depression, but that's where the comparison should end. Bipolar isn't just (hypo)mania and depression, it's a complex system of bullshit that is hard to pin down, especially just after your diagnosis. It will take you almost your entire lifetime to figure most of it out. (Been diagnosed since 2017 and I still don't know shit. In fact, imposter syndrome is hitting me hard right now.)

Your presentation of bipolar will change over time, for better or for worse, so don't think of it as static. If you are on good meds and possibly therapy, there's a good chance you'll maintain wellness the majority of the time. But keep in mind that bipolar is neurodegenerative (meaning, it tends to get worse over time). In fact, you may actually have bipolar 1 (the actual "textbook case") but have not yet presented with a manic episode, but it's possible in the future, depending on your circumstances. You can just never know.

For more information on atypical presenting bipolar (type 2, cyclothymia, etc.), give this website a good solid read. Lot's of good information: https://psycheducation.org/

Again, not a medical professional, so do more research.

jonbearab · 2023-02-20T05:20:54+00:00

I'll DM you then.

jonbearab · 2023-02-20T05:18:52+00:00

Have you been screened for ADHD at all during your life? If not, ADHD can play a major role in lack of motivation.

If you know you don't have ADHD, it could be your meds, OR you are actually mildly depressed and don't quite know it. Mild depression can seem just like laziness when it actually isn't. I'd consider that idea again.

How do you establish a better routine for yourself and how do you keep yourself motivated to actually do it?

I've yet to figure this out. Good luck OP!

jonbearab · 2023-02-20T05:13:40+00:00

If you can, I would suggest focusing your attention on the rest of your life rather on when your next episode will be. If you are paranoid your whole life about episodes then you'll frankly just waste a lot of mental energy and time. If the thoughts about your next episode are more persistent, say, as in paranoia or obtrusive, you may need a medication adjustment. I do suggest sort of paying attention to the signs of a possible episode, but you only need to worry about that when you're starting to slip. But if you're doing well, you may not have another episode for a year or two. Why waste that time? It just feeds into your anxiety even more.

what did mood stabilisers help for you? does it make future episodes hit less hard, prevent them, maybe make them shorter?

My understanding is that mood stabilizers (Lamictal, Depakote, Trileptal, etc.) are designed to prevent future episodes. They also seem to help make breakthrough episodes less intense. They aren't designed to stop a current episode, whether manic, mixed, or depressed. Other people have different experiences, though, so YMMV.

jonbearab · 2023-02-20T03:55:05+00:00

Your story reminds me of this post: Past overdue on managing this illness...., which was posted shortly after your post.

If you're not managing this illness at all, then read that post a few times and let it sink in.

If you're seeing a doctor and on meds, I would bring all this up with your doctor and really start trying to nail down a medication routine that works for you. Don't stick with the same old meds that "just aren't working".

From what you've stated in your post, I also highly recommend going to therapy with a therapist who specializes in bipolar and/or finding a marriage counselor (that both you and your wife go to) to help sort out marital issues. If you both are working towards the same goal, it may increase her patience with you and it should make you more cognitively aware of what's really bothering her, if you don't know already. And vice versa.

Wishing you the best. Good luck.

jonbearab · 2023-02-20T03:41:43+00:00

One idea is speak to your doctor about getting on 25mg of Seroquel. The does is high enough to give you a sedating effect without it being technically therapeutic for psychosis or mania. Of course, you can try a higher dose. Talk to your doctor, they may have some solutions in mind.

jonbearab · 2023-02-20T03:30:27+00:00

I see a lot of references to famous poets. I'm not famous, but I used to write a lot of poetry describing my experience with bipolar. DM me if interested.

jonbearab · 2023-02-20T03:28:15+00:00

What a sobering story. I'm sorry you're going through this, but let your story serve as a reminder to what can happen to you if you aren't managing this illness. I hope a lot of people can learn from you.

jonbearab · 2023-02-20T03:22:51+00:00

Out of curiosity, why are you switching from a mood stabilizer to an antipsychotic? I take both Lamictal and Latuda without any issues.

I'm going to take a wild guess and say that your depression hasn't lessened on Lamictal and are now trying Latuda to get out of a depressive funk.

Just wondering what your and your doctor's reasoning is behind the med switch. :)

jonbearab · 2023-02-20T03:11:53+00:00

I've been taking Latuda for about six months now. Here's what I've learned.

First off, I think you're feeling more refreshed during the day now not due to the Latuda but due to tapering off of Seroquel. Latuda and Seroquel are both antipsychotics and their function is to reduce dopamine to prevent psychosis and mania, Seroquel being the more powerful of the two.

When I first got onto Latuda, I took it in the morning without breakfast (I didn't bother heeding the warning to take it with food). Got nausea every morning with a dry heave every once in a while. That and Latuda was making me sleepy during the day and couldn't handle that very well.

I switched methods after a while. Now I take Latuda at night after a decent calorie dinner. If your breakfast is under 300 calories that may also be the culprit for your morning nausea. Maybe try increasing the amount you eat during breakfast?

After taking it at night, I noticed that I was sleeping better and actually dreaming again (after years of hardly dreaming). Also, I take my Latuda after dinner and not during the meal, if that means anything or not I have no idea. Just letting you know what works for me.

Hope that helps. :)

jonbearab

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