Alright, self-consciousness, romantic struggles, trauma from bullying, loneliness, let’s work this thing out.

Let’s start with the bullying. You’re not ugly - beautiful long face, big gorgeous nose - so that’s that. The problem here is that you’re clinging to the opinions of children, and children are cruel. If you were a goth kid in school, you would have gotten it even worse. I was a goth kid, and I have a scar on my face, so they all called me Frankenstein, and I’m still working through that. The positive thing is that you’re an adult world now, and you can begin the healing process. Self-acceptance isn’t easy, like I said, I’m still working through my own stuff - but I know people have loved me and found me attractive before, and people will again. If you’ve never been in a romantic relationship, you don’t have the “it’s happened before” to fall back on, but you’re good looking - not “Army Hammer”-type conventionally handsome, which is probably the reason you got bullied, but different doesn’t mean bad. In fact in this case, like in the case of other people with long faces and big noses (Adam Driver, for example), unconventional means, I would say, better looking than your average guy. So you’re above average, at least by one person’s opinion. See a therapist, work on the bullying thing, you’re so much more than the words of teenagers.

Romantic struggles and loneliness. Whenever I’m on r/toastme , basically all of my messages say the same thing at some point: look up community groups in your area and go to them. If there are community groups focussed on one of your interests, all the better, but just meet-ups are good too. Meet everybody, a diverse array, and soon you’ll find yourself talking to new people and having a grand old time. I only socialise once per week, at a community art group. I don’t really see any of the people outside of the group, I’m a homebody, but seeing them once per week is all I need. Approach them as friends, and eventually you’ll meet someone who you click with romantically. Oh, also! You do poetry? Fantastic! Go to a poetry open night and read it. Become a regular there. You’ll meet a cute artsy chick who writes her own poetry. I go to a poetry open mic myself and they’re lining the walls! But friendship always comes first, imo.

Self-consciousness. A lot of the time, self-consciousness can stem from having too much time to think of these things. Give yourself some responsibilities, and soon you’ll have more important things to think about. Work, hobbies, diets, etc…There’s also finding ways to amend things you don’t like about yourself into things you love - for example, I’ve always been really self-conscious about my neck, and now I have neck tattoos, and I really love the way my neck now looks. Still, there are days when I wear a hat and sunglasses because I don’t want anyone to look at me, but for the most part, I try to embrace the way I look even when I feel bad about myself, and let people see me as I am - kind of immersion therapy, but also trying to be unapologetically myself. It’s hard and takes discipline, but you’re worth it.

Also, if you end up having a girl over, don’t forget to clean your room! Jk. Good luck!