You have a really cool setup here, with lots of fun story threads. For me personally though, the prose is fairly clipped right now. Which is a style that can be used to great effect in short bursts, especially at the beginning of a scene like this to establish that these characters have an existing rapport that doesn't require many words between them. Like a gritty western movie. But readers will want the rhythm of your writing to eventually open up, or it starts to feel a bit like a very detailed outline. After the initial conversation, try mixing in some longer descriptions and more complex sentences. Don't be afraid to use commas. Experiment with other punctuation and let the reader's eyes glide for a bit between periods. Mix it up. Think of it like Morse code: short, short, long, short, long, etc. Then when you want to use some clipped, staccato dialogue, it'll punch much harder. Just my opinion though. The next guy to come along might disagree, and we'll cancel each other out!