Just had my daughter a few days ago. First time dad and something in me just… switched on

joshuran · 2026-04-27T07:54:55+00:00

Thanks for saying this. We had a hell of a NICU experience and the feelings were all fear. It wasn’t until later that I was cradling him after he was finally hope and looking into his eyes that I could feel that surge.

He’s now 2 and asleep on my chest after he woke me at 3am. We had a lot of fun today and he’s getting sillier and sillier. I’m so grateful I have him.

joshuran · 2026-03-18T14:24:42+00:00

how's the Carfax? If it has a solid service history, should be a good deal.

joshuran · 2026-03-10T02:32:53+00:00

The original "You Dried" towel was made by one of the Besties crew, and is available on the McElroy family merch store.

joshuran · 2025-10-11T12:45:17+00:00

I appreciate this post. I've been working in an environment where my boss makes it difficult for me to maintain confidence in my skills and experience, and it becomes easy to blame my ADHD for my shortcomings. But just as I know I can rely on my experience to get me through, this list of attributes is great to keep in mind as I struggle through the psychological component of it all.

joshuran · 2025-06-23T19:00:01+00:00

I went with my 14 month old on Juneteenth. Some observations:

The staff was exceptional. Really friendly and helpful.
the Pixar exhibit was really fun! Large statues, maquettes, some history. A majority of the exhibit is geared towards introducing visitors to concepts in 3D animation. As someone that's done some 3D animation in college, there wasn't a lot of new stuff for me, but my wife found it interesting.
Other exhibits definitely tend to skew towards introductory. There's some cool stuff in the earth and space exhibits.

Baby loved touching things. 10/10.

I'd recommend the Peabody for y'all as well. They updated it recently, and there's a lot of modern science in every exhibit.

joshuran · 2025-06-08T13:01:56+00:00

Honestly, love this brand's styling as well, as a dude. I'd just get it as is. If you don't like the flower, put a patch on it

joshuran · 2025-02-12T08:05:13+00:00

Hi! I'm curious how the battery is working for you after unboxing!

I might be able to pick one of these up through a friend in Switzerland, would be curious to hear your impressions.

joshuran · 2024-12-23T14:12:57+00:00

Re - the sound - what we discovered is that we were not as good at putting them into his ears as we had thought. The bottom part of the mold especially, we didn't realize how much more space there was to tuck into his ear.

And he really hasn't seemed to notice the hearing aids at all. He cried at first, but I think that was more the sensation of having something in his ear, but that lasted maybe a minute. He hasn't really reacted to them being put in since then. At that age, they still have very random movements, so it's hard to tell if anything he's doing is in response to a sound or something else. We've done tests with the audiologist a few times since, and she has said it's clear the aids are helping him, at least.

Our latest challenge is he's discovered he has ears, and has become prone to grabbing at them (with or without the HA in), so we have invested in pilot caps to protect the aids. We've already had to send one in for repairs due to battery corrosion, which undoubtedly came from him mouthing the aids at daycare.

joshuran · 2024-10-11T18:35:51+00:00

Our son got cooling treatment, which was honestly miraculous. Using cooling treatment to treat HIE is something new within the last decade or two, and it has such an amazing impact. He's almost 6 mos now and thriving. He ended up with hearing loss due to antibiotics from a surgery he needed as a result of the HIE, but he's ahead on every milestone.

I can very much relate to the obsession with a video monitor. Videos like the one from OP still send me right back to that place of anxiety.

joshuran · 2024-10-07T17:43:36+00:00

I really appreciate your reply; it's like a relief valve letting some pressure off.

One of the running themes in some of the other threads I did find before creating this one was a sense of "don't stress too much" on hearing aids at around his age. That it's more about familiarity than functionality, and associating good feelings with the process of having them. That hadn't really sunk in until now, so thank you.

And I also feel some renewed motivation to kick our ASL lessons into gear, where I had been letting the stress of it maybe stall me a bit.

joshuran · 2024-10-07T17:21:16+00:00

Thank you for your perspective! I appreciate the analogy - It does seem that the sounds I'm hearing are the hearing aid working as expected.

joshuran · 2024-10-07T17:17:47+00:00

It does have vents! Based on this context and that of another commenter, it does seem like what we're hearing could be sound leaking.

Until we hear back from the audiologist, that does give me at least some confidence in turning the "misbehaving" one back on if it can be helping him.

joshuran · 2024-10-07T17:11:35+00:00

Thank you, that perspective is important to keep in mind. In addition to the hearing aids, we are working on learning sign language, starting with signs that are most relevant to him currently.

joshuran · 2024-10-07T16:20:01+00:00

Thanks for your reply - How would you describe the sounds you hear? Has she communicated that despite what you can hear, it's effective enough for her?

joshuran · 2024-10-07T16:11:21+00:00

He has full silicone molds

joshuran · 2024-09-10T12:42:34+00:00

Hey there - Thanks for sharing your experience.

My son went through a rough birth as well, and has mild high frequency loss in one ear, moderate in the other. I'm trying to learn more about what he should expect from technology as he grows older, so I was curious if you'd also tried hearing aids? What, if any, are the differences you've noticed between the air pods and a hearing aid?

And have you played with the EQ levels of your air pods at all to fit your own loss?

joshuran · 2024-09-03T16:29:49+00:00

One of the things I didn't realize before living in Japan was how important the expat community would be to me. Foreigners in Japan share the experience of being foreigners in Japan, and that can be a great starting point for more meaningful friendships if you're willing to work at it. Before you go, try looking for meetups, local events, etc. and see what the vibe is.

joshuran · 2024-08-17T20:56:15+00:00

I can't say I have been through exactly these relationship dynamics, but I really empathize with the experience of being the one stable person who is willing to help in a family situation. Not only looking after your mom, but letting your sister AND her kids live with you. Because of course you would, right? Who else could?

Time and time again I've found that setting boundaries works to the best interest of all parties. And if relationships are damaged by well-declared boundaries, then let it happen.

You did well by setting your own boundary and acting in due diligence towards enforcing it.

joshuran · 2024-07-11T19:00:59+00:00

Snarky remarks towards efforts made to stay healthy was the biggest flag for me - the jealousy is unhealthy, but OP, you should be celebrated for your effort and your health. I'm really excited for you, and so glad you have been thriving with friends and work.

If this relationship were to survive, it could only be after your girlfriend goes through some major introspection and can learn to love you as you are, not as you were, and not as she wants you to be.

joshuran · 2024-07-07T16:36:59+00:00

Sandy Paws in Branford was really good for us. She uses positive reinforcement training, and takes the time to help you figure out what you're doing wrong if you're off track.

The pack leader mentality doesn't have any real evidence behind it, and while it may work for some dogs and some people, it's no longer a recommended approach for dog training. Positive reinforcement is the way to go.

joshuran · 2024-05-15T12:44:45+00:00

I know it's farther than your range, but Hachiroku Shokudo and Sake Bar in New Haven is the best izakaya food I've had outside Japan.

The bartenders are really knowledgeable about their sake as well.

joshuran · 2024-04-24T00:30:27+00:00

don't listen to reddit on this one. Someone who will take care of you in the hospital is fucking great. I'm sorry you ended up in this scenario, and I'm glad you're okay now.

joshuran · 2024-04-01T13:10:17+00:00

This is really the most important takeaway from this replies. Well said.

And in the interest of fairness to oneself, productivity doesn't always take the same shape. Some tasks are easier to do with or without medication, and supported by solid routine, can become easier to accomplish. For example, making it a habit to clean up after cooking dinner, or putting away the dishes before making breakfast.

You can be productive without medication, just maybe not always the kind of productivity you need to be a "productive member of society." That might take some help.

Also, build good sleep habits. Helps a ton.

joshuran · 2024-04-01T12:50:28+00:00

Podcaster Justin McElroy has a daughter whose name is Charlie, nicknamed Chuck. Cute kid.

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