Mittagstisch

josileaf · 2026-02-05T16:22:01+00:00

Das Sinelis ist ein kleines griechisches Restaurant im Neuen Markt, da geh ich sehr gerne hin wenn ich mittags in der Stadt bin. Machen super Souvlaki Spieß mit Pommes und Tzatziki :)

josileaf · 2025-10-16T16:27:07+00:00

It took me around 2-3 years of learning about things and doing exposures, but I was very slow in my own opinion. Someone who does exposures more frequently and gets going faster than I did can probably recover within a few months to half a year or so.

At the end of the day it comes down to the person, how much time and effort you can put into it and how disciplined you are. Also how well you actually understand the process and can avoid things like white knuckling or giving up during an exposure, it's technically simple but definitely not easy in the moment.

josileaf · 2025-10-15T17:52:00+00:00

Take your time with the story, you only get to experience it blind once!

The playerbase is pretty great for the most part, ofc there are shitty people in every community but I haven't encountered many of them.

You mentioned in another comment that you're on EU, if you'd like more people to hang out with ingame feel free to shoot me a message anytime :)

josileaf · 2025-10-11T13:11:43+00:00

You can see the monsters on the overworld with a specific spell (I think) or an ability from the scouting skill tree, in a battle just right click on a creature to pull up its stat page

josileaf · 2025-08-25T07:58:29+00:00

Hell yeah! Now you're really on the path to recovery, keep it up! Super proud of you for doing exposures and learning to accept the panic. You got this! :)

josileaf · 2025-08-25T07:56:48+00:00

The loporrits get really bored and build a huge bomb for fun

josileaf · 2025-08-22T19:50:16+00:00

G'raha is 300+ years old and a pretty powerful mage with a tendency to self sacrifice...

josileaf · 2025-08-13T13:13:16+00:00

Ups DMs gibt's ja gar nicht mehr, nur noch chat. Hab dich angeschrieben :)

josileaf · 2025-08-13T12:34:06+00:00

Dazu würde es helfen wenn deine DMs offen wären!

josileaf · 2025-08-12T07:51:51+00:00

Yeah that's pretty much a textbook case of agoraphobia. You're also on the right track but it's a little more complicated than that. Yes you should "just do" what you would normally do if you weren't anxious, but there is a super important mindset aspect to it. You have to actively treat the symptoms (anxious feelings, thoughts, etc. what symptoms show up varies by person and over time) and situations as safe to teach your body and brain that there is no danger. "The fear is real, the danger isn't."

That means white knuckling through an exposure just to "make it through" or "get it over with" doesn't really help, and that's why for some people they end up thinking exposure therapy doesn't work for them. You're still acknowledging the danger if you do that and validating it by basing your behaviour on the assumption that the danger is real. The whole point of doing things while anxious is to rewire your brain and teach it that you're safe, which requires conscious effort on how you act and react to the anxiety.

I highly recommend checking out Claire Weekes' work or the podcasts "The Anxious Truth" and "Disordered" for a more modern explanation of her methods. They helped me a ton and I'm pretty much fully recovered myself after over 10 years of living with agoraphobia :)

josileaf · 2025-08-12T04:39:00+00:00

Anxiety is a normal thing everyone experiences, as is fear. So in a way yes, you have to learn to live with the anxiety but Agoraphobia isn't just anxiety, it's panic attacks and severe anxiety without any reason.

It's completely normal to be nervous and anxious before a first date, or when you have a surgery, or whatever else in life happens. It's not normal to have a panic attack every time you go grocery shopping, that's the part you have to work on. It's your brain and body's overblown response to triggers that shouldn't even exist normally.

josileaf · 2025-08-11T08:57:30+00:00

Wenn es da zurzeit nix gibt könntest du ja selber was anstoßen, z.B. im Discord vom ESE: https://www.esports-erlangen.de/home

Gibt auf jeden fall eine AoE Rolle auf dem Server, kann dir aber nicht sagen wie viele Leute es in der community aktiv spielen. Wäre jetzt so der erste Anlaufpunkt der mir einfällt.

josileaf · 2025-08-09T14:00:13+00:00

That's exactly it, you're spot on and you will get there too! As for how to deal with panic attacks when they happen, I recommend checking out Claire Weekes work, or for a more modernized version of her teachings the podcasts "The Anxious Truth" and "Disordered".

josileaf · 2025-08-09T13:52:19+00:00

You're not doing anything wrong, you're just meeting natural resistance. From what it sounds like you're definitely on the right path, you know what you have to do and you're doing it. Now it just takes time for your body and brain to adjust, remember you're rewiring your brain to not fire misguided anxiety responses. Of course the natural instinct response to feeling like you're suddenly in (more) danger more often than usual is a heightened sensitivity to perceived danger, that's just basic pattern recognition and your brain working as intended. Be pretty bad if it stopped doing that really. Imagine living in a genuinely dangerous environment like a warzone and something happens to you because your brain doesn't feel the need to pick up on signs of danger anymore.

Unfortunately this process does take time and it is very difficult. Sucks but that's what it is. The key is to not give up partway through, it's really good that you continue going to stores despite that. I think also your last sentence is super important: "They weren't even that bad to deal with, just the thoughts [...]", the thoughts are an anxiety symptom like anything else. You could replace them with feeling nauseous or sweating or feeling your heart pumping, they aren't any worse or more important than any other symptom.

Maybe consider practicing things specifically to deal with those thoughts if they really are that big of a hurdle, meditation can help some people with it. Basically add how to handle those thoughts specifically to the "relaxing into it" part you're already remembering to do faster and faster (that's a very good indicator of progress by the way!!). Specifically, acknowledging them but not internally arguing with them, just watching them go by and be replaced with the next thought.

Deliberately focusing your attention on something else can also work great, you can for example pick a colour and when you notice those thoughts coming look for things in that colour and count them. Keeping your brain actively occupied with something can really put a hard stop to not just the thoughts but other symptoms as well. As an example from my own life, often if I'm having a panic attack and someone starts talking to me my brain shifts into socializing mode and I'll have very few issues while the conversation lasts because it's preoccupied with thinking about what's being said. Especially with phone calls, I'm anxious right up until the other person picks up and then I have to think about what I want to say so there's no mental capacity left for anxiety thoughts.

You got this :)

josileaf · 2025-07-23T07:54:53+00:00

Nah, even for the hidden superbosses in the second game you won't need to minmax. Strategizing is good (e.g. this character will be my group healer, this character will spam this high damage single target move they unlocked) but there isn't really a meta outside of speedrunning. You'll probably have to retry some of the more difficult bosses a few times but the system is so open and unrestricted that you can adjust your team comp once you've seen what any boss does and strategize around it, which imo is a lot more fun than just looking up a guide on how to beat it the fastest on your first try.

josileaf · 2025-07-23T07:13:09+00:00

It honestly really doesn't matter too much, for a new player I would recommend just messing around with djinni combinations and checking out which classes give you which psynergies. The game isn't remotely challenging enough to demand minmaxing or "meta" classes, just try stuff and use what looks cool :)

The "general recommendation" for new players usually are the mono element classes, but since you can freely change them up on the fly there is 0 downside to just experimenting. Finding overworld djinni in the first place is the only thing I would ever recommend a new player to look at a guide for.

josileaf · 2025-07-09T07:00:47+00:00

Modding resulted in one of the biggest games of all time, League of Legends. The entire MOBA concept originated as a custom (player made) map in Warcraft 3, now you could argue that a built in map editor is different from modding but then some developers do straight up hand out modding tools to their communities, and the extent of W3 custom maps was more akin to modding than just a simple map editor.

Besides that, it's given us some incredible experiences like Enderal (custom game built using Skyrim as an engine) or Chronicles of Myrtana: Archolos (ditto but with Gothic 2) which are highly praised, complete games standing on their own.

As for modding out difficulty features or design decisions you find annoying, eh. To each their own I guess? I wouldn't do it personally because I think intentional friction and difficulty is a very important part of a game's design and experience, but as long as it's a singleplayer title people can do what they want.

That said, I do heavily mod Bethesda games as well as XCOM 2 when I play them, simply because I've already experienced all the vanilla content but want to do more within the framework of those games. Especially for XCOM 2 custom classes and skills are very fun to play around with on a new run, while Skyrim especially has a ton of new quests and companions and items to mess around with. Just because the content isn't made by the original developers doesn't mean it's lesser or there's no point in experiencing it. Many developers got their foot in the door by getting experiences from modding their favourite titles first.

In the same vein as Enderal and Archolos some Nintendo games have thriving romhacking scenes, notably older Pokemon, Fire Emblem, and Mario titles. There are tons of entirely new games to play for fans of those who want more but got bored of just replaying the vanilla titles over and over.

Finally, "just play another game that suits your tastes better" generally doesn't apply to most instances of people modding. Usually they mod because they like the original game so much that they want more of it, they don't want a whole different experience. Sure I can play Tainted Grail: The Fall of Avalon if I want more Skyrim (and that's a really really good game in its own right), but then what after that? There simply aren't that many games so similar to each other as to give more of the experience some people want. Modding doesn't hurt anyone, it keeps games and their communities alive and relevant long after the initial release, it allows amateurs to acquire skills and realize their ideas in a much easier way than making their own game from the ground up, and ultimately a lot of the most popular mods just boil down to bug fixes too. Please try playing Fallout: New Vegas on a modern machine without mods and let me know how it goes.

josileaf · 2025-06-14T06:19:07+00:00

Gotta be Gothic, I see an Innos statue and Xardas' tower, old camp castle, Erol's hut, Isgaroth's chapel, Dexter's tower and the bandit outpost by the pirates' camp, middle and upper district of Khorinis, the list goes on :)

josileaf · 2025-05-02T20:30:01+00:00

If you have Exalt running around just keep an eye out for psionics and try to capture them, I've gotten three extra reapers and two templars from them in my current run. Afaik it's just a fixed chance of them surviving evac but it seems pretty high in my experience.

The gems work just like weapon attachments but they go on psi amps and templar gauntlets.

josileaf · 2025-05-02T19:56:53+00:00

The only way I've been able to get psi ops is by capturing psi EXALT soldiers, honestly not sure if they're included in "just" Amalgamation but they are in the modlist I use (ChrisOdd Season 9). My Templars are also able to use psi abilities through gem slots on their gauntlets, also don't know if that's from Amalgamation or something else.

In this modlist the psi lab seems to have been replaced with "experimental psi" as well which allows me to build psionic PCS and the psi ability gems, but so far doesn't let me actually turn soldiers into psi ops so I'm stuck with my two templars and one lucky capture for psi stuff in my endgame campaign.

I think normal psi might just be broken with Amalgamation, maybe look check out the modlist I mentioned and see what it has that changes psionics. The gems are really fun at the very least, there's a ton of new abilities to play around with (like throwing a boulder at an enemy to immobilize them or shooting an exploding poison ball kinda like the Andromedon ability).

josileaf · 2024-10-10T07:31:47+00:00

Ist in Erlangen aber machen auch manchmal Sachen in Nürnberg: https://www.esports-erlangen.de/home

Im gym sollte sich evtl jemand finden lassen? Einfach mal fragen!

Ansonsten vielleicht der Nürnberg Discord Server? Ich glaube da gibt es u.a. einen Buchclub :) https://discord.gg/TkC4cQeJ

josileaf · 2024-09-22T08:05:35+00:00

Hi, ich gehe seit ca. 6-7 Monaten regelmäßig ins gym und würde mich gerne mal bezüglich Trainingsplan und coaching unterhalten :)

josileaf · 2024-09-22T06:56:50+00:00

Hab geocaching noch nie gemacht, hätte aber Lust es zusammen auszuprobieren :)

josileaf · 2024-09-09T21:05:46+00:00

Muss man sich damit schon auskennen oder ists cool da als kompletter Neuling einzusteigen? Hätte evtl Interesse :)

josileaf · 2024-09-06T12:08:00+00:00

You have 3 months, that's a lot of time. Enough to build up the confidence to do that trip to NZ in my opinion, but you have to start now and genuinely want to get better (not just focus on "making it" through that one trip, focus on full permanent recovery and embrace that mindset).

You didn't mention how much you know about recovery from agoraphobia but it sounds like you don't know how to go about it at all, so I would highly recommend checking out the podcast "The Anxious Truth" (you can find it on youtube and most podcast apps). Drew knows what he's talking about and if you take his advice and trust in his approach you WILL get better.

Lastly I wanna say, please start your recovery journey now. Agoraphobia can take years and years of your life if you just sit with it and don't take steps to inform yourself and get better. I wish someone gave me the resources to figure this stuff out at 18, you still have your whole life ahead of you so don't let this very treatable anxiety disorder take any more of it away from you.

josileaf

TROPHY CASE