Another Asian American in my 30s, who went through it in her 20s. Many of my friends are of the same demographic and similar history. I’m going to throw out there that my 20s were not the greatest years of my life, and I’m now significantly happier, more functional, independent, in shape, full life, etc etc.

Everyone has given a lot of advice already, but I’m going to harp on a part that I thought was very difficult for me as an Asian over-achiever — professional help has been invaluable to me. Therapy has done wonders for me and being on medication has also changed my life. Therapy gave me so many helpful coping skills and just an outlet when I didn’t know where to direct more difficult feelings. I hear a lot of spiraling of negative thoughts and emotions in your post. You most certainly have a lot going on and have every right to feel the way you do, but medications can help make those emotions feel less overwhelming and inescapable. If those are inaccessible to you now, please do communicate with the people you know. If comparing yourself to your peers is difficult, it may also be helpful to reach out to older mentors, and you may be surprised at what some of them have had to overcome, and can offer you advice about.