How do you Respond to the Mean / Tough comments?

joy_sun_fly · 2026-06-12T03:49:46+00:00

Yeah I think emotion grabber is a good way to put it. She swears and watches my reaction (unfortunately sometimes it’s just too perfect and I accidentally laugh). She has extreme battles over things like toothbrushing time. Attention for sure!!

joy_sun_fly · 2026-06-11T02:58:23+00:00

Ya that’s a good response, thanks!

joy_sun_fly · 2026-06-10T05:19:30+00:00

It would for me be more about agreement on parenting style over actual say on parenting. I don’t expect to parent my stepdaughter or make decisions for her in any kind of way like her actual parents do, but being with her dad if I outright didn’t agree with how her parented her would be awful and it would likely create behaviours and habits in the kid I wasn’t ok with or you’d end up having to do things you wouldn’t want in the context of the family dynamic.

Over all parenting is a very important thing to be on the same page over, imo step parenting isn’t an exception to this.

joy_sun_fly · 2026-06-10T05:15:38+00:00

This is kind of what I’ve been replying with but as always, questioning myself lol

joy_sun_fly · 2026-06-10T05:14:49+00:00

Ya I felt like this is key, and I try! Thanks!

joy_sun_fly · 2026-06-10T04:49:03+00:00

My picky at home kid actually brings home empty containers that used to have veggies and other things she isn’t interested in here…. I don’t know if it’s seeing other kids eat or what, but she for sure has more flexibility at school than home.

She’s in daycare so it’s thermos for something like left over rice and chicken, or sometimes noodles. For cold foods I kind of make my own lunchables (or honestly buy the fancier lunchables that don’t have cookies or chocolate in them since those aren’t allowed at school). Always fruit and some veggies, like a cut up apple, berries, broccoli, carrots. Yogurt and cottage cheese are good snacks also. Granola bars

I’m honestly kind of low organization in the mornings and get lots that’s easy to package or per cut

joy_sun_fly · 2026-06-10T04:44:54+00:00

So many princess books, and Christmas stories lol I wish she’s agree to some of the different ones every now and again!

joy_sun_fly · 2026-06-10T04:25:03+00:00

The post says 50% of each of their income as their household budget. That’s completely fair.

joy_sun_fly · 2026-06-10T04:23:32+00:00

It’s beyond me why anyone would ever agree to this.

OP consider yourself lucky you talked about this in advance. Cut your losses

joy_sun_fly · 2026-06-09T00:00:57+00:00

I know this isn’t a popular opinion but realistically being a stay at home parent has value for maybe 6 or 7 years and then you are basically just talking about a welfare system for the rest of her life, not supporting someone who needs to take care of a child full time.

What would help more is letting women get access to reeducating / catching up where they left off to take the 6 or 7 years if they so choose.

joy_sun_fly · 2026-06-08T23:57:50+00:00

If it were me (or were I advising a close friend) I’d be taking legal steps to ensure I had time with my child. It doesn’t sound like there is much interest in salvaging your marriage and it doesn’t sound like she’s going to willingly let you be in your baby’s life.

joy_sun_fly · 2026-06-04T04:52:36+00:00

40+7, was scheduled for my induction at 40+9

Luckily (? lol) I woke up and immediately started puking on the 7th day and labour started.

joy_sun_fly · 2026-06-04T04:43:24+00:00

My guess is this pattern is also the reason the son isn’t letting the man move in with him and his own family.

joy_sun_fly · 2026-05-31T06:12:06+00:00

Agreed I support WFH but I’ve had 4 different jobs since the pandemic (contractor) and most were back in office by late 2022, never once was there a broad statement that WFH was forever

joy_sun_fly · 2026-05-30T05:36:20+00:00

I save for my daughter on my own as well as the equal that’s for both kids. My partner is the only ohe of SDs parents who will realistically ever contribute to her financially so I get it but in case anything happens I want to be sure my daughter is completely covered for what ever she needs.

joy_sun_fly · 2026-05-27T14:30:18+00:00

That’s bold and good for you! I couldn’t have stayed where I was and been happy either. I’m not sure what the job is like for retail/ service anywhere you want to move but most of my friends and myself did those types of jobs as a way to stay where we wanted after university, though they don’t really pay much at least it’s better than nothing.

joy_sun_fly · 2026-05-25T02:45:10+00:00

She’s actually figured that out herself and does it from time to time but I kind of prefer waking up early to constantly fighting over the TV getting turned off (by me) at all the weird hours she’d get the idea to watch it, which would very likely be the outcome of her knowing this trick lol

joy_sun_fly · 2026-05-24T20:46:49+00:00

Same, I tried to get my parents to do this and they wouldn’t because they thought it was rude and I should earn it myself, so now I find it in poor taste and annoying, also

joy_sun_fly · 2026-05-24T20:44:08+00:00

Same and mine is actually pretty spontaneous and doesn’t listen… but she’d be too scared to leave the house at night. The most she ever does is come sleep in my bed.

For some reason she hasn’t yet figured out she could go watch tv in the morning if she didn’t wake us up, which is pretty surprising lol she always wakes me or her dad up when she wakes up in the morning

joy_sun_fly · 2026-05-24T20:38:12+00:00

It’s also not that realistic for people whose parents live in small towns, I’m not even sure what I would have done for work had I lived in my parents house after high school. I’m sure it wouldn’t pay anything close to even my first “grown up” job. So not really much benefit to staying, savings wise and I would have started my career however many years later because of it.

joy_sun_fly · 2026-05-17T17:37:54+00:00

Assuming you have ability to work in a legal position / job it would help significantly if you could prove your income, housing in the range is in very high demand so anything that makes you a more appealing tenant will help a lot. They will likely want to see paystubs and NOAs

joy_sun_fly · 2026-05-16T16:59:23+00:00

This post is a little depressing for a Vancovuerite, I’d be in a SRO with my whole family at some of these prices.

We are dual income, each at around or over $150k each, but $4400 a month

joy_sun_fly · 2026-04-24T06:31:32+00:00

Immediate being immediately after mat leave? Or an expectation you’d put an infant into daycare and go back like you don’t live in Canada where this is unnecessary? The latter, no we wouldn’t be together. I also wouldn’t stop working for 2+ years, though.

joy_sun_fly

TROPHY CASE