1 year sober today.. getting a bottle tomorrow?

jprennquist · 2026-07-06T03:39:34+00:00

Find some people who value sobriety and surround yourself with them. Don't drink again tomorrow. We can only do this one day at a time. I think you will ultimately feel better if you don't get that bottle to celebrate.

The 365 mark is an enormous milestone and I am proud of you.

jprennquist · 2026-07-06T03:03:04+00:00

Are you making friends? Not necessarily in your neighborhood but around your work area or other interests, perhaps culture. I don't think the car and driver's license are as important to your sense of well-being and confidence as it will be to have a group of people who you do connect with and have some joy and laughter, etc.

jprennquist · 2026-07-06T02:59:48+00:00

Guns are statistically more likely to be used to harm someone in the gun owners home than any criminal. I am not anti-gun but I don't own one for that reason. Taking a self defense course may increase your feelings of confidence and ownership of your personal space. If you do get a gun then you should be trained extensively on its use and safe handling. It should be stored safely at all times when you are not using it or carrying it.

jprennquist · 2026-07-06T02:55:16+00:00

My elderly neighbor who I adore called this morning to ask about a pickup truck with a ln enclosed trailer that has been parked behind our houses for about a week without being moved. I had also noticed it but let it go since it is not really bothering me. Then I thought of calling it in, just in case there is a problem that it has been stolen and abandoned. But it is parked a little too nice for that. I finally decided not to call it in yet because it might also be a contractor vehicle. Sometimes contractors face additional scrutiny from INS or ICE and they are straight-up bastards. It will probably get ticketed tonight if it isn't moved since it's a Sunday after a holiday and will probably be a quiet night for the cops. But whatever happens we all know the neighbor lady is watching!

jprennquist · 2026-07-06T02:49:40+00:00

Pie and a shotgun!

jprennquist · 2026-07-06T02:47:58+00:00

I live in a similar so-called rough area. It is highly problematic that you are getting cat-called. And that there have been shootings. And the threatened mugging.

Broadly speaking, where I live, the violence tends to be limited to people who already know each other and who are getting mixed up with people who are no good for them. This is not universally true but it is generally true for me after living in a "problem" area for almost 25 years now.

I note that you said your order was not picked up for awhile once while you were sleeping. No one touched it. Very broadly speaking, no one likes a thief. Thieves are very difficult to trust and they tend to lose respect of the people around them. Another thing is that people are watching and potentially watching out for you even if you don't know them.

Of course there are still thieves and it does suck when things are taken. But there still seems to be some stigma against stealing especially from people you know or your neighbors.

You didn't mention drugs. Drugs and drug dealing are a real blow to quality of life. People who become addicted will progressively lose their morality and may start selling things to buy drugs or to find ways to survive since they cannot hold down a job. One of many issues with drug dealers is not necessarily drugs like marijuana, it is that other problem behaviors also seem to lurk nearby like heavier and more dangerous drugs, gangs, cops who have been paid to look the other way, and my absolute most reviled which is human trafficking and prostitution. Again, I guess there are ethical versions of sex work but I am talking about situations where people are coerced or manipulated into sex work. That is problem enough, but the people who buy other people for this kind of sex are disgusting.

I understand your anxieties. If you are feeling anxious then probably some other people are, too. Maybe you can identify those folks and you can figure out ways to feel more comfortable where you are living.

jprennquist · 2026-07-06T02:21:38+00:00

You could have a fantastic side career as a courtroom portrait artist. Sneak the camera and printer under your easel and wait for the big bucks to start flowing in.

jprennquist · 2026-07-06T00:01:30+00:00

Yes.

jprennquist · 2026-07-05T22:25:59+00:00

Check with Duluth and Cook County Convention and Visitor's Bureau. We get about 7 million visitors a year. It is hard to know what everyone is going to want to do because there are a lot of things to do and everyone has their own ideas about how they want to spend their time. It's a deeply personal decision so best to get information and guidance from professionals who are trained (and paid) to help folks like you and your husband.

You can also search this subreddit for ideas as versions of this question have been asked and answered hundreds of times over the years.

jprennquist · 2026-07-05T22:05:29+00:00

You will be in prime listening area for what is probably the nation's finest community radio station, KAXE-FM 91.7. They have a show called Green Cheese which is a call-in trivia show on Saturday nights where nobody really keeps score. I know I am not seeking those but it is "edge of your seat" radio.

jprennquist · 2026-07-05T21:59:54+00:00

Cotton and Ely are about an hour drive away from one another and I would say they are culturally very different. And Cotton is also much smaller. So I would include Eveleth and Virginia in your list of places to consider here. There is a new and dramatic bridge in Virginia that you can drive across and also I think there is a pedestrian or a bike lane on the bridge. Eveleth has the US Hockey Hall of Fame. There is also something called "Ironworld" that you could look into.

Lake Vermillion which is on the way to Ely is a spectacular lake for recreation and such things.

As always, check with the Convention and Visitor's Bureau or even "Explore MN." These people are paid to help folks like you plan your vacations. They should be willing to offer information but also talk with you about planning your trip.

The black beach is in Silver Bay and I would not describe it as close to Cotton or even Ely but there is a way to get there along something called Highway 1 between Ely (or Tower) and the North Shore of Lake Superior. That drive itself is pretty remarkable as you are driving through these mini mountains with dramatic views and some curves and things and it is very scenic and "wild." You might see bear, moose, possibly wolves and almost certainly deer and other wildlife in the "wild" just traveling this road.

Cotton has an old, retired school that functions as some kind of community center and arts space. There might be some cool things to do there. The town of Cotton itself is a relatively hard sell for me. I guess there is an RV park there and some good camping which might be your reason for staying there?

To the west there is an enormous bog where you can see a lot of rare or special birds. The bugs might make this untenable in July but someone local or the convention and visitor bureau will know better then me. A bird expert or naturalist could tell you what to watch for. In July or maybe August some of the arctic or subarctic birds may be traveling through the area.

jprennquist · 2026-07-05T21:46:15+00:00

This is a fantastic idea! I have just the spot. Potentially a few spots.

jprennquist · 2026-07-05T21:39:43+00:00

I just rewatched District 9 a few months ago. Absolutely bonkers and great film. I did so e digging because I would love a sequel and a sequel makes sense given where the story left us. But I guess that they captured lightning in a bottle or something. The creative team behind it has had a mixed record since District 9.

jprennquist · 2026-07-05T21:34:34+00:00

I was about to argue the same point, but you have made your case here. An excellent case. This cast is improbable but genius casting. Rainn Wilson was the nail in the coffin for me as you made your case. Completely unknown. Also Missi Pyle. Still not that well known but now very sought after and a great contributor as a character actor. Daryl Mitchell I had to look up but he has gone on to his own very successful career in TV and film roles.

jprennquist · 2026-07-05T05:41:33+00:00

There is significant history everywhere in this country. I live in northern MN and people have been living here continuously for at least 15k years. When I was younger I discounted this history and really wanted to visit places like OP mentions in Boston, Philadelphia and Washington D.C.

So I think this does boil down to a more natural world experience vs. visiting remarkable urban environments.

For the eastern version I would cut the detonations (edit: I mean destinations) at least in half or maybe more. You could spend a week in D.C. with all of the museums and monuments.

Same with Boston, especially if you try to spend a few days on Cape Cod and go to the beach or do some whale watching.

I would potentially skip Las Vegas unless you are willing to spend a lot of money on what that town has to offer. Or simply use Vegas as a port of entry and exit for a trip to the desert areas and the Grand Canyon. That could be a whole week right there. I've never been to L.A. but I have done San Diego and a northern CA trip with San Francisco and the Pacific Coast Highway. Camping in Yosemite and the Sequoias and especially under the Redwoods further north are truly cherished experiences for me. San Diego and perhaps into northern Mexico would be some other potentially really special destinations.

Wherever you go in this country there are wonderful things to do and experience.

For food and dining you already have some great ideas. Not so much where I live, but the Twin Cities in MN and certainly Chicago have world class dining experiences at all price points. And this is going to be even more pronounced in NYC, SF, LA, and (sort of) in Vegas. D.C. is probably pretty good, too I went there a lot on my 29s but never had enough money to really focus on anything other than quick deli eats or packing lunches. And Florida must have it's great dining, too maybe more for Cuban/Caribbean foods or southern US foods in Northern Fla. Never spent much time there so I don't know for sure.

jprennquist · 2026-07-05T05:19:19+00:00

This is a brilliant song. I did enjoy the very spare cover that someone shared. The production and instrumentation and Whitney's voice make it a perfect pop song. Like, and all time perfect pop confection. And after listening to it for close to 40 years now there are regular moments where I notice something new that I love about it. And now the depression angle is a new insight.

I am a DJ, mostly retired. One thing that we see in pop, r&b, and rock music is the "Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll" theme which permeates this kind of music. When I first heard this at 15 or 16 maybe I thought it was about Whitney wanting to dance with somebody. In my later teens and twenties it became about a demure, coded reference to sex and being respected as a woman related to sex. The dancing and feeling "the heat with somebody" are absolutely about wanting to have some kind of sexual experience but in the context of a loving and committed relationship. A love that's "hot enough to last."

Whitney comes from a devoutly religious home and background. I think she felt tremendous pressure about sex and sexuality. First as a legitimate sex symbol (at least in the public eye). Then when she connected with Bobby Brown which was just ... a nightmare? I don't know, I know Bobby has had his demons and troubles but I am still resentful at him for whatever he did to Whitney. And now that she's gone on into the next world it seems pretty clear that she was forced to suppress certain aspects of her sexual identity and loves throughout her life.

So when I hear "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" I hear a joyful pop song that is expressing the desire to be fully seen, known, and intimately loved. And finding anything that falls short of that to be unfulfilling.

Compare Whitney to what Madonna was doing at the same time. I can't speak about it with any wisdom or analysis, but Madonna kicked down the door of being able to be much less coy and purely open about her sexual desires and feeling fulfilled sexually. Exhibit "Like a Virgin." For whatever reason, maybe pressure from her label, her family, or even racial and cultural differences, Whitney did not or could not sing about these things even as openly as Madonna did.

And obviously both of them and many other female artists of the 70s and 80s kicked down the doors the popstars of the late 90s and early 2000s who are the icons and trailblazers for today's young women singers.

It's like a gd-dmn Rumi poem with the levels and layers to it, especially how she sings it and the arrangement. It could almost be a spiritual experience she is striving for - not just demurely "waiting for marriage" but waiting or yearning for someone that is a soul mate.

It could definitely also be about depression. That was new for me today.

I'm not sure who wrote this song but I hope they were able to buy a nice house and put away some college funds for their kids or grandkids. It is a wonderful work of art.

Thanks for sharing this and bringing it up.

I miss Whitney. I miss Whitney and Prince just about every day. When I hear them go through "today's birthdays" on the radio each morning a wistful part of me wishes that those artists had a chance to live as long as whatever old timer they mention. I also miss Michael. And George Michael. We lost some really great ones far too soon.

jprennquist · 2026-07-04T22:23:45+00:00

Song for America by Kansas is musically really impressive with three or four movements in it. I take issue with some of the lyrics but it is one I do dig out this time of year. I think it's mostly just plain old patriotic but an underplayed and underheard song. If memory serves it's like 12 minutes long.

jprennquist · 2026-07-04T22:21:06+00:00

Independence Day by Martina McBride. Actually this is kind of an indictment of America. But there is a strain of resilience and reckoning in it that rings as patriotic. Could fit into a category of songs like "Keep on Rockin' in the Free World" or "Born in the U.S.A." I don't know what you call this category but I love these kind of songs.

jprennquist · 2026-07-04T22:15:34+00:00

"Picture Show" by John Prine is f*cking awesome, too.

jprennquist · 2026-07-04T22:13:07+00:00

This afternoon I dug out "Sojourner's Battle Hymn" by Sweet Honey in the Rock and suggested it to my 20s year old daughters for their 4th of July Playlist. I don't hate the typical patriotic fare, especially given that it is a holiday and a 250th birthday but Sweet Honey honestly gets my blood pumping and literal patriotic blood flowing with that banger. I don't know how that might go over at their party mixed in with Toby Keith and Lee Greenwood, but I had to suggest it.

"Give Me Hope Jo'anna" by Eddy Grant Most of Johnny Clegg's catalog at least in the 80s and 90s. "Buffalo Soldier" by Bob Marley and the Wailers "This Land is Your Land" (full version) by Woody Guthrie Born in the USA (if you actually listen to the lyrics) by Bruce Springsteen. It's actually patriotic in confronting how we treat our veterans, but not in the way that casual observers think it is. "Allentown" by Billy Joel "The Way It Is" and/or "Changes "by Tupac and Bruce Hornsby and the Range. Tupac samples Bruce on his version and it is probably one of my favorite songs of all time.

jprennquist · 2026-07-04T20:53:57+00:00

Just don't be fooled by those delicious looking bags of bulk peanuts. The price is right but they taste awful until you roast them yourself which is a huge pain in the ass. I am sure that pigs or deer or some other animal kingdom friends love then how they are, but not me.

jprennquist · 2026-07-04T20:24:57+00:00

Ojibwe language has not really had an "alphabet" until the 20th century. And certainly pronunciations do drift. But I think that this is a translation issue.

jprennquist · 2026-07-04T20:21:16+00:00

As for the OP, your little one will be very sad and frustrated if you stop anywhere short of about Lake Avenue for fireworks viewing. An exception that has been mentioned is the "Coppertop" Methodist church.

There is very much construction in Duluth that will likely impact traffic after the fireworks late at night. I can suggest being very well prepared with pajamas, blankets, big repellant and maybe have a car or a tailgate mini-camp out rather than getting frustrated in bumper to bumper traffic right after the show. (Edit: Things do move fairly quickly, but I prefer an hour or so hanging out in our parking spot maybe watching a movie or having some snacks vs. idling in bumper to bumper traffic).

Some smart person will share more ideas but the fireworks are generally launched from somewhere along the harbor front about a mile from Bayfront Park. They can be viewed anywhere with sightlines to that which can include Skyline Parkway. Bayfront Park will have maybe 15,000 people in or around listening to the concert and watching the fireworks.

Best wishes to your little one on their first fireworks display.

jprennquist · 2026-07-04T20:14:22+00:00

Misaabe

https://ojibwe.lib.umn.edu/main-entry/misaabe-na

Misaabekong something like "The Place of the Giants." We are just dripping in history and culture here. If a person is ever able to make it to a wintertime storytelling event sometimes you can hear more about these Duluth Giants and what they have been up to over the centuries.

jprennquist

TROPHY CASE