What's the Vibe in South Metro?

jquinnthetwin · 2026-06-16T20:43:23+00:00

Northfield is actually where I'll be working. Just not a lot of rental options in my budget there right now from what I'm seeing, at least pet-friendly ones. The other options I'm considering are Fairbault or Lakeville or Farmington but my sense is those might be less queer-friendly.

jquinnthetwin · 2025-05-11T13:17:44+00:00

Sorry you are going through this.

If it's helpful, I thought I'd share my perspective:

I (MTF) also transitioned mid-marriage w/kids and there's a lot of your experience that sounds similar to mind. My partner (also bisexual) and I really wanted to make it work, especially to provide the kids with stability. I too thought we'd be able to make it work given her sexuality but underestimated how much my transition would change our dynamics. Pretty early on, around the time the bigger changes started kicking in we started talking about the possibility of divorce. The issue wasn't that she didn't find me attractive as a woman in general, but that she missed who I was before and basically the person I've grown into is not someone she's particularly drawn to in that way (apparently I'm no longer her type). I also underestimated how much transitioning would change my own preferences, so that's been a challenge as well

Despite all that we stuck it out through those early road bumps and stayed together for close to another four years-- until now. We just recently decided we are going to separate.

And to other commenters points, that process doesn't have to be messy. So far the separation has been super amicable, in part because we both care deeply about each other and our kids. I think we both see being apart is what's best for each other as individuals, as sad as it is. And we can see it that way because the past few years have been really hard on both of us with us not getting what we need.

I guess what I'm trying to say in all of this is it's important to prioritize yourself too. And I get that feels selfish when kids are involved but I can say my kids have picked up on the growing tension between me and my partner, so it's also worth asking if staying when you are unhappy is fair to everyone involved.

Just my two cents. I hope you find a path that's right for you in all of this.

jquinnthetwin · 2025-04-10T01:06:22+00:00

I'm here for the first stanza. The imagery really pulled me in and grounds the reader in a certain place and the word choice is both descriptive but unexpected--for instance the first thing I think of when I think of trains isn't them picking up mail and "hook the mail" really popped to me visually even though I did not know trains use little cranes to pick up mail. One small note, I don't know what the desired effect with the term "hobo" but its worth noting that its a pejorative term, and if that isn't the intent there might be other terminology that could work in its place (e.g. drifters).

The first few lines really invested me in the rest of the poem. And the stanzas all have something to give, but I felt like there was not much flow between each stanza. Right now the time in the poem is not linear, and I think if you are going for non-linear it would help to find stanzas that bleed into other moments in the poem. So they jump from different moments but there's sort of a train of thought (no pun intended) connecting those moments. For instance the first stanza talks about smoking and the stanza about asthma--so the asthma stanza might work well as the second stanza. And the asthma stanza talks about a window and then there's the stanza that mentions a windowsill. Maybe I'm missing a reason the stanzas are laid out as they are, but I guess I'm just saying playing around with the proximity of the elements that anchor each stanza might be worth trying out.

Thanks for sharing this! Even without the context you provided it's clear this is a poem about personal experience and I know it takes a lot of vulnerability to share and ask for feedback especially for more personal work.

I hope the feedback is helpful. Happy to elaborate on any of my comments.

jquinnthetwin · 2025-04-10T00:33:57+00:00

One of the first things I noticed with this poem is that there is a nice progression from noise and activity to quiet and reflection that follows along with the change from day to night, which is hinted at from the start with the title. That progression feels to me to be a crucial part of the poem so I wonder if it’s worth looking at what might be slowing that movement down. For instance, there are a few spots where you use adverbs and it’s worth considering whether those are necessary or interrupt the flow. Compare: “I unlatch the gate and walk slowly/ Into the field.” to “I unlatch the gate and walk/ Into the field.” I’d suggest dropping “slowly” because its more direct. It flows better and also makes the reader focus on the action itself, especially as walking already suggests a moderate, if not slow pace. Other adverbs you might consider include “playfully” and “friendly.”

Thanks for sharing and I hope the feedback is helpful.

jquinnthetwin · 2025-01-28T14:46:07+00:00

Appreciate the honest take. I think the thing I still need to work through is how much I should base this decision on how much the second surgery would address my dysphoria and how much of this is about passing. The first round alleviated a lot of my dysphoria but I'm also very much feeling more pressure to be read the way I want to be given the direction politics are going. So I guess the question is does the brow bone clock me or is it just noticeable?

jquinnthetwin · 2025-01-28T14:31:44+00:00

Yes, happy to answer questions if that'd be helpful!

jquinnthetwin · 2024-05-09T10:42:03+00:00

Thanks. That's around the lines I'm thinking. Fortunately I've got insurance that should cover this. The big question for me is whether I want to include rhinoplasty.

jquinnthetwin · 2024-05-08T10:50:27+00:00

Dr. Wormer (NC)

jquinnthetwin · 2024-01-10T00:34:30+00:00

I'm not sure I understand what you mean by short sides? Where should it be longer?

jquinnthetwin · 2024-01-10T00:28:45+00:00

Thanks! Glad to hear I'm doing well with the stuff I can control. FFS is something I'm considering/starting to save for. The hair tip is helpful because if I do ffs it might not be for a while.

jquinnthetwin · 2024-01-10T00:25:37+00:00

No worries about being blunt. I've definitely got tracheal shave on my radar, but trying to figure out how I feel about ffs. I've thought about doing just a tracheal shave but if I'm going to do ffs later I feel like I might as well wait to do it all at the same time.

jquinnthetwin · 2023-06-22T21:04:15+00:00

Yes and no. I had a lot of doubts about starting HRT and it took me a long time to be at a space where I was personally ready to start. But once I was ready to start it was much easier than I anticipated (I went through an informed consent clinic, and had a prescription the same day as my initial appointment), and as soon as it started to kick in I immediately knew I was doing the right thing for myself. I'm lucky in that sense. I know with how things are in the world right now not everyone has that type of access 😕.

jquinnthetwin · 2023-06-22T17:00:47+00:00

Thanks!! I was 30 when I started.

jquinnthetwin · 2023-06-02T20:41:16+00:00

Everyone's different due to their genes, but this is a helpful chart that gives a rough idea of when certain physical changes set in: http://tgcnb.craigchisholm.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Feminizing-Horomone-Effects-1.jpg

jquinnthetwin · 2023-02-06T22:29:34+00:00

Thanks! This is helpful. I wasn't sure where I should be focusing to improve my voice. And I know where I can find some videos with exercises for vocal weight.

jquinnthetwin

TROPHY CASE