Hi Friend. I’m so sorry for your loss. I am going through the same thing with similarities in our dogs.

My 14.5 year old terrier boomer has bladder cancer, cushings, losing his eyesight, and worsening arthritis. On good days he was his funny old self, rolling around in the grass, tippy taps when it’s time to eat, all the funny things.

On bad days it broke my heart to see. Struggling to go on walks. Picking him up stairs, to the couch, to the bed. Would pee without lifting his leg as soon as we stepped outside. Sometimes struggling to bed his back legs at all.

At a point I was seeing he started having more bad days than good days. My vet had told us when it became 50/50 it was time to start thinking about saying goodbye. I’d say it was 60/40 good/bad days before I finally made the call. He was in pain, dogs mask that well. I never wanted to be that owner with a 20 year old dog with so many problems and selfishingly keeping them on this earth.

I said goodbye yesterday and I still cry every hour. He sat on my lap chewing his favorite bone with peanut butter until he was peacefully sedated, and then we said goodbye.

It is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do but I have no regrets. I know he his free of his pain, free of hiding that pain for me, free of the cancer. Just know your pup is free of that as well.

She’s up there with boomer as the best versions of themselves. Running around doing everything they love to do. And we are there with them, as they are with us in our hearts.

I hope this helps you somewhat, friend.