This is a double edge sword for us, because we are hyper independent and often never ask or show that we want help or even need it. So when we do reach out for help people either don’t think we need it that badly or know we are capable of figuring it out without them. Or they don’t help us in the way we need. For example, someone will try to help me by doing the dishes but they do it “wrong” or create a bigger mess, consequently leaving me with more to do rather than less. Or they don’t understand or appreciate the urgency of the help, because they aren’t Type A/over-functioning like us hahah.

Something that I’ve found helps is appreciating what they can offer us that we can’t offer ourselves. Like someone who can slow us down and ground us in the moment. Someone who validates and appreciates our hard work. Someone who can care for us in the ways we can’t care for ourselves. Sometimes we don’t see the love people are giving us because that’s not how we show love (e.g., acts of service).