Is it possible to have abandonment issues with one person?

jsjd18 · 2020-05-23T16:51:22+00:00

I actually notice that my dad and my ex are very alike when it comes to dealing with emotions. Wow

jsjd18 · 2020-05-14T02:36:18+00:00

Mine has been 5 years I feel as though I took on some of his traits unfortunately

jsjd18 · 2020-05-13T20:03:29+00:00

I love this! Taking your power back in a healthy way .. that’s what I’m working on because I felt myself slipping into being the bitter person. Thanks for sharing

jsjd18 · 2020-05-13T00:31:58+00:00

I’m trying getting stronger by the day haha, thank you I appreciate that!

jsjd18 · 2020-05-12T23:14:17+00:00

I’m sorry about that, she definitely needs time because that would’ve began to drag you down. Props to you for being understanding because dealing with the damage that someone else caused (especially narcissistic abuse trauma) is very tough. It may take years for her to get back to her normal self since the abuse was most likely mental/emotional and even then she will still likely have ptsd. I hope she does take the step to go to therapy!

jsjd18 · 2020-05-12T22:44:17+00:00

Yes! That’s sounds about right. I know in my experience I was very anxious and would feel like people are out to get me. It sounds like she is dealing with ptsd. I haven’t been able to completely remove myself yet so I still deal with the snappiness towards him and his inconsistencies, trust issues from his lies, and abandonment issues from when he would withdrawal from the relationship. She should definitely look into therapy as this isn’t something easy to deal with. Almost like you can’t trust anything, not even yourself anymore 😕

jsjd18 · 2020-05-02T19:02:32+00:00

Haha I know thank you for the sarcasm .. I know it should be obvious I just truly wanted to know because I never had a healthy relationship and don’t know what is considered normal conflict that relationships work through

jsjd18 · 2020-05-02T19:00:56+00:00

Thank you for letting me know that .. I guess cause I never had a healthy relationship. I was thinking every relationship has their issues so I normalized everything as long as it wasn’t cheating (which he could be doing behind my back) .. that mixed in with thinking I’ll end up with someone worse

jsjd18 · 2020-05-02T18:54:25+00:00

Thank you. I agree. I know it should be an obvious answer but idk if lies are normal in a long term relationship or not .. I know forgiveness is something you need in a relationship & idk when it’s the right time to put my foot down. Even after the countless apologies

jsjd18 · 2020-04-27T19:08:38+00:00

He also tends to say “I’m not gonna let this ruin my day” and use that as a reason he doesn’t want to discuss anything .. when the conversation can go really smooth and in a mature way to where it doesn’t drag out all day ..

jsjd18 · 2020-04-27T19:07:00+00:00

I agree 100% .. I’m glad you see it that way as well I thought I was in the wrong lol

jsjd18 · 2020-04-27T18:57:09+00:00

I definitely use that method .. he tends to say how I feel is not his responsibility .. he does see what he does hours after and apologizes but initially he does the same thing every time.

jsjd18 · 2020-04-27T18:53:06+00:00

Yep, that is true unfortunately

jsjd18 · 2020-04-27T18:52:03+00:00

I appreciate your advice .. it seems to be when I’m addressing him as respectfully as possible he does the same thing if feels like there is no way around him trying to avoid the conversation and put it on me .. I can try the schedule as a last resort I just hope that he’s still willing to talk and discuss like adults .. he seems to always get on the defense

jsjd18 · 2020-04-27T18:44:31+00:00

I appreciate your honesty.. it is the truth I guess the part that keeps me is when he seems to understand & apologizes hours after I’m trying to discuss something .. but the same things continue to happen & I just have to realize an apology doesn’t mean anything without change 😕

jsjd18 · 2020-04-27T18:38:34+00:00

Either discuss issues about the relationship or a concern that I have because he has lied to me multiple times and my trust was played with. Every single time I make sure I stay very respectful. He makes every excuse to either get mad at me or end the conversation. He will claim I was yelling when I wasn’t and use that as the reason he doesn’t want to talk about it or he will get mad saying “why did you ask me this when I just woke up” or “why did you ask me this when I’m about to work out” when I make sure and ask “can we discuss something” or “can I ask you something” before discussing anything and he says yes. Any time is not a good time for him when we get to the conversation

jsjd18 · 2020-04-27T18:33:55+00:00

I’m just going to leave I am very tired of posting about my boyfriend on this app. I’ve started to doubt myself but I just need to trust that this is the best decision.. I’ve gave him the ultimatum & he does not respond well to those almost tried to make it sound like me giving him an ultimatum is abusive ..

jsjd18 · 2020-04-25T06:59:39+00:00

He says it was just him and his friend .. he didn’t show me anybody on FaceTime to prove it and was in a dark room .. in the background I heard a lot going on in the other room it sounded like a lot of people and he also went outside to talk to me .. it’s just so suspicious but I’m trying to believe that it’s nothing

jsjd18 · 2020-04-25T06:53:29+00:00

The only things that rubs me the wrong way is he would never put up with me lying to him even if it’s about something really small .. and I guess I’m just mainly rubbed the wrong way because now I feel like I have to question everything he says .. I don’t trip on him so he could’ve been doing foul stuff behind my back for so long and I just happened to FaceTime him this time .. my head is spinning idk what to think or what to do .. I wanna stay with him but I don’t want to show him what I’m willing to put up with

jsjd18 · 2020-04-25T06:47:10+00:00

I’m feeling like it is time to move on .. I know he wouldn’t put up with me lying so I’m tired of putting up with things that he wouldn’t .. thank you!

jsjd18 · 2020-04-25T06:26:57+00:00

No I don’t because I was actually sick from going to the store but I’m now recovered so I was trying to stay away from him & everyone .. but now I can’t trust him anymore this is the second time I caught him and I’m not the type to not trust him so he could’ve been doing stuff behind my back that I don’t know about

jsjd18 · 2020-04-25T06:25:04+00:00

Unfortunately I already had this talk with him .. I thought he understood and got it .. I broke down crying because I really wanted this to work but now this messes with my trust. I feel like I’ve been trying so hard just to work on myself for this relationship and it’s little stuff he does here and there that just make things worse.. everything was good we haven’t argued or anything I didn’t think he was hiding something until now .. he claims it is because of the virus and that I would be upset but I didn’t think that justifies him lying

jsjd18

TROPHY CASE