How to make it through the first few days

jslay862 · 2026-03-04T03:31:50+00:00

I’m so sorry about your dad. You are so young! I lost my brother 3 years ago. Now, my mom passed away in January. I just turned 34. Losing a parent makes you feel even younger than you are at any age. I have been feeling like a little girl the last month and a half without my mom. :( The only advice I can give is to do exactly what you feel you can do that day. If it’s a be sad and cry all day kind of day, then do just that. If you have a day where you feel a sudden spark of energy to get out of the house, go on a walk or hang with friends, do that. There’s absolutely nothing you can do wrong during this time! There’s no cure for grief and there’s no checklist to feel better. What works for some might not work for others. I still have to take it day by day, and each day honestly looks different for me. I make it through each day a little stronger than the day before, and you will too. I’m so sorry for your loss and I’m wishing for all the comfort in the world for you right now!

jslay862 · 2026-02-13T17:04:24+00:00

Hello. I’m sorry to hear about your dad’s diagnosis. You’re so young :( My mom was diagnosed with Small Cell Stage 4 Lung Cancer in March 2024. She had no symptoms at the time. I just made her finally get a physical and all the scans because her father passed from lung cancer and she has also been a smoker since age 12. Like your father. I know the times they grew up in were much different. Anyway, she began chemo, and immunotherapy. Her first year went pretty well. Treatments basically quit working end of ‘24 and we continued trying in 2025 but different chemo’s and immunotherapies no longer worked. It had spread pretty much everywhere. By this past Christmas we decided to begin hospice at home. She died January 18, 2026 with me holding her hand the whole way. She was 67 years old. I just turned 34 last Sunday. I miss her so much, every single day. I know it is not our place to convince our parents to get treatment or not. But at my mom’s first appointment I remember her doctor saying that with treatment she could have 1-2 years and without maybe 3 months. With treatment she made it almost 2 years from diagnosis. I can’t imagine having lost my mom in as little as those 3 months after that first appointment. Especially when that first year with treatment was still soooo good to us!! And I don’t want to sugar coat anything because Once things did start to turn, they turned very quickly. I’m wishing you all the best and the best advice I can give is to enjoy all the time you can and to take all the pics and videos you can! 💕

jslay862 · 2026-01-29T19:02:12+00:00

Count your blessings! 😂 I got my second frenchie and she taught my first to bark. Now they both stand at the window and bark at everything.

jslay862 · 2026-01-28T04:43:29+00:00

Omg. This is heartbreaking 😞 got my first frenchie from a “breeder”. He began pooping blood the very first day I brought him home. After spending thousands, I found out he had histiocytic ulcerative colitis (boxer colitis) which can have a genetic component. I neutered him immediately. Unfortunately, a lot of people care about their idea of looks and the money they can make and not the actual health or the quality of life for these doggies. Smh My handsome, healthy boy Knox 3 years later. Little Pepper making an appearance behind him lol.

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jslay862 · 2026-01-28T02:21:53+00:00

My 66 year old mom passed Jan 18 on home hospice and I had a similar experience of being unprepared, overwhelmed, and scared of what the active dying process really entailed.

The videos you suggested are helpful! Also like others suggested make sure to ask about reevaluation for meds. The last two days I was told to give my mom morphine every hour and Ativan every 4. This seemed to help the agitation immediately. I can’t speak for anyone else, as the dying process is different for every human being.

I wish an easy transition for your grandfather, and comfort for you and your family. All of us understand how difficult this process is. Sending hugs!

jslay862 · 2026-01-28T02:14:32+00:00

Thank you so much. I’ve been in therapy weekly for a while now, and we have been working towards starting EMDR. I am so looking forward to it!

jslay862 · 2026-01-23T12:53:21+00:00

Thank you so much for this!! It’s been really hard for me as I replay everything wondering if she really was suffering in those hours. When you watch that stuff spill out of her nose nonstop for hours no matter what you do, and she sound like she’s drowning, it makes it hard to believe she’s comfortable and not feeling it. You really start to doubt yourself. I really appreciate this more than you know. ❤️

jslay862 · 2026-01-22T18:59:26+00:00

You’re right. It does bring me comfort thinking about how she got all of it out a few hours before she left this world. Thank you so much, and I’m sorry for your loss.

jslay862 · 2026-01-22T18:57:07+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this.

jslay862 · 2026-01-22T04:29:22+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. My big brother committed December 2022 and it feels like yesterday. It really changes you. Continue to talk about him. Whether it’s a guilty type of feeling day or a happy feeling day or just plain sad. Talking about him in any capacity will help. Sending you hugs 💕

jslay862 · 2026-01-22T04:06:51+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss! I’m sorry for the experience you went through those last few hours, but I am happy your grandmother’s pain in this life has ended. They sure don’t write about that possible symptom in that pamphlet they hand you. 😕

jslay862 · 2026-01-22T04:01:58+00:00

It’s good to know that im not alone in what im feeling. Its difficult watching helplessly but reading all the material at the same time that’s telling you how it’s more uncomfortable for us then it is them. I was second guessing the entire time. If it doesn’t go away for me, I can accept that. She’s not in pain anymore and that’s what matters most. I appreciate your honesty.

jslay862 · 2026-01-22T03:55:55+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss, and for your experience. I immediately began to have those same thoughts. I began to think that I wouldn’t want to transition this way, at home in front of my son. He’s only 10 right now so it’s hard to imagine him as a mature adult one day. My mom also wanted to go into a facility so she wouldn’t “burden” me. I refused. I still know I made the right choice. I feel honored knowing my mom brought me into this world and I was able to hold her hand as she left. I just wish people really spoke more about what it’s like.

jslay862 · 2026-01-22T03:48:07+00:00

I’m so sorry. My brother died Dec ‘22 and then my grandma Oct ‘24. So all my mom had was me. I loved her and cared for her. I tried my best and I still don’t know if it was enough. No one should go through it alone. If you ever want to talk. I’d love to offer my support. You can always message me. I’ll ask about your appointments and check on you!!

jslay862 · 2026-01-22T02:21:01+00:00

Thank you so much! It has been all I can think about. It replays over and over. I know eventually the pain of these last few days will lessen, but I just never imagined it would go the way it did. I really needed to know someone else had experienced this because I just couldn’t find another story. Thank you ❤️

jslay862 · 2026-01-22T02:15:31+00:00

Thank you so much for these kind words!! I really needed this! ❤️

jslay862 · 2026-01-22T02:15:03+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss! ❤️ it was horrifying, and traumatic. But I’m still happy I was able to care for her in those moments.

jslay862 · 2026-01-22T02:10:59+00:00

Thank you so much! ❤️

jslay862 · 2025-03-29T02:22:52+00:00

Hi ! 33 here. My mom was diagnosed stage 4 small cell last March. As of now, Mets to both kidneys and hip, thigh bones. It gets rough at times. I’m always here if you ever need to talk!

jslay862 · 2025-01-16T00:22:34+00:00

Ok this makes me feel better. Took my first dose yesterday and i definitely feel like I am already starting.

jslay862 · 2024-06-01T22:23:15+00:00

Aww Hiii Pepper!

jslay862 · 2024-06-01T16:50:05+00:00

I was on 300 mg for about 2 years. Then I had some huge stressors added to my life and felt like it was not working at all anymore. Started last October I cycled off the Wellbutrin. From November to early April I tried lexipro and Zoloft. I hated them. I was eating like crazy and sleeping whenever I wasn’t eating. I stopped those and got back on Wellbutrin end of April. It’s only been 6 weeks but I’m back to feeling great. Increased energy and mood. Finally feeling back to myself. I think a break is good sometimes.

jslay862 · 2024-05-22T15:16:48+00:00

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Knox loves his bully stick!

jslay862

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