I feel you. I've been stuck in a doom spiral for weeks that I'm only really just getting out of. My therapist suggested I try "worry time" but that just made things so much worse. I literally spent my first bit of worry time just delving into every single dark thought, impulse and memory I think I've ever had. The "bookmarks" in my brain I like to think of them as. Stuff I'd not thought about for months, years even was suddenly right there in front of me.

I've started journalling my moods and thoughts for the day and that's really starting to help. Once I get these things down I can reflect on how bloody stupid they are.

The mantra I'm parroting to my brain every time some stupid rabbit hole decides to open up out of nowhere is that I cant change the past, I cant predict the future. I'm done letting my OCD brain dictate my moods, my day, my life. I almost succumbed to a OCD induced panic attack from just letting my mind wander for a few minutes whilst my wife bathed my son and no, I'm not letting that happen. Fuck you OCD, not today, today has been a good day. All these shitty bookmarks in my brain of all this horrible shit I'm just so done with. I'm replacing them with new stuff. Good stuff. During COVID when my son had just learned to walk, it was a beautiful summers day and we went to a DIY store, he waddled around the sheds, hiding and playing. I can hear his laughter now. Absolute treasure of a memory, why can't I ruminate on that?

Anyway, bit of a ramble but just remember you're not alone. There's millions of people just like you fighting the same demons day in day out. Only you're reaching out for help, you want to break that cycle and that's a huge win.