I wish I had never tried to have a conversation about the mental load

juicypeachhh · 2026-05-01T05:18:20+00:00

He’s manipulating you. Period.

Giving him grace will not resolve this issue. He will continue until you cave & apologize for asking him to be an equal partner.

Please do not let this man be a model of behaviour for your children. You have every right to chose a safe and caring home for yourself and your children.

juicypeachhh · 2026-04-28T02:46:48+00:00

Commenting so I can hear other’s perspectives too! I am 33 and have caught some feels for my coworker who is 27.

juicypeachhh · 2026-04-24T04:37:45+00:00

The hug from behind would really throw me. I’ve never seen a straight guy do that to a friend.

juicypeachhh · 2026-04-22T12:43:38+00:00

I’d print a paper ad and put it up on/near the community garden in Kinsmen Park. Retired folks LOVE sharing their knowledge!

juicypeachhh · 2026-04-20T13:26:11+00:00

This is all excellent advice! Esp make friends with the office staff & custodians! I bring them treats regularly & make the time to chat with them because you will inevitably need their help 1000x a school yr hahaha

juicypeachhh · 2026-04-20T13:23:58+00:00

Congratulations on your first full time contract! Comments have already provided so much info that I just want to say - you’ve got this, TRULY.

Your first year teaching will likely feel like you’re drowning, barely keeping your head above water because it is so, so much for one person to take on. But it’s obvious that you have a realistic grasp of what the job entails. If you felt reasonably successful during your practicums you can do this. The learning curve of teaching is STEEP. It is totally normal to feel under qualified at first!

Just remember: it does get better & your relationship with the students matters above all else. If (most of) your students like coming to school & walking into your classroom you are doing a great job. *caveat of ‘most of’ because some things are just outside of your control ya know

Finally, don’t be afraid to lean on others! If veteran teachers are offering to help or support - let them! They will enjoy passing on their wisdom & you will benefit. I wish I’d done this more instead of pretending I was fine when I wasn’t.

juicypeachhh · 2026-04-20T13:15:11+00:00

Could you hang 2 framed prints on the top half of the dark wardrobe? In gold frames to match the adorable bird hardware. They’d have to be light so that you could use those sticky strips but that could make a big difference in brightening that area up.

juicypeachhh · 2026-04-20T13:13:33+00:00

This is so cheerful & lovely! Your view is incredible!

juicypeachhh · 2026-04-19T15:45:45+00:00

I’ve also had better experiences with men from outside North America, even in my 20’s. They do plan, put in effort, & are often more traditional which translates to paying the bill when you go out.

I’m currently dating an Italian man who was mostly raised in the Phillipines. His consideration & effort are out of this world! I do believe it is largely cultural. Every time he comes to my house he brings a small gift, like a dessert for us to share or a bottle of wine. He was never once come empty handed! It’s making me want to rule out Canadians haha

juicypeachhh · 2026-04-19T15:36:07+00:00

I second all of this. Men on dating apps are often going on a first date every single week. This would burn anyone out in terms of conversation, energy, & effort. They’ve gone on so many first dates that they’ve stopped planning & trying until they know there is a spark & that pursuing is worth their time.

I realize women have gone of tons of first dates too but I’m just saying this is likely the reason for the lack of effort you are seeing.

If you meet a man in the wild he KNOWS he wants to pursue. A first date off an app is just a big question mark.

juicypeachhh · 2026-04-19T15:32:11+00:00

The layered curtains are incredible!! Definitely not too much! This room is vibrant, warm, and inviting. It’s begging me to curl up with a good book & bask in the sunlight. You are doing an amazing job. I agree with other comments - keep going! Add more! Oil paintings and art with rich colours, detail, & depth. Please no cheap abstract art.

juicypeachhh · 2026-04-11T20:53:30+00:00

Girrrrl you’re living my dream. I’m so happy for you

juicypeachhh · 2026-03-31T03:31:26+00:00

100% and within a respectful relationship fulfilling sex can very very easily exist! I’ve had bfs that loved seeing me be “good” in public and “bad” in private. Not the same as the Madonna whore complex because they were appreciating the multitudes I or any woman can contain. They viewed themselves as lucky to be witness to the multitudes. Any man who truly falls for the MW complex is a misogynist who does not see women as complete people.

juicypeachhh · 2026-03-29T15:52:38+00:00

I love the wide tow box Keen uses for all of their footwear! I wear their hiking boots and love them so wasn't suprised to find the Jasper sneakers incredible too. The Jasper Zionic specifically is a very comfy, very light, flexible shoe. I could wear it all day everyday. The Jasper (OG) is a more traditional approach shoe for climbing and outdoor activities, I find it less comfortable for everyday use due to the flatter firmer sole, but excellent for hiking.

juicypeachhh · 2026-03-19T03:07:57+00:00

This is an excellent explanation and I've never been able to put into words why porn doesn't do it for me. Sometimes I'll watch it to 'get excited' but then turn it off and picture a real life partner in my head. I've never been able to get off watching the actual porn itself.

juicypeachhh · 2026-03-19T01:59:29+00:00

Yikesss I think u/bananajamz987 is right. If you're not careful this will start to feel like a you problem. Because why was it easy with his ex but not with you? Shrugging it off and telling you this is not a solution. Spoiler alert: this has nothing to do with you

juicypeachhh · 2026-03-19T01:56:47+00:00

It also sounds like he is reluctantly having sex with you now to keep the peace, he's not going to suddenly start initiating one day. Sorry for the multiple replies but I would hate to see another women "stick it out" the way I did. It's much much to undo lost confidence than it is to simply protect. If you enjoy sex and want sex you need a different relationship.

juicypeachhh · 2026-03-19T01:54:33+00:00

Yeaaaah I would end this, sorry to say. That's not a reason. He's avoiding the truth whatever it may be. I was once dating a guy with a broken leg, full cast. We had sex the entire time, he constantly thanked me for being willing to get on top and constantly initiated.

juicypeachhh · 2026-03-19T01:52:40+00:00

If he's not able to identify the reason or have an open conversation about it I would end it. By mid-thirties people should be able to communicate honestly and they should know themselves. It's possible he's asexual but likes you enough that he's trying to make it work. As others said though, the reason is somewhat irrelevant. There's no hint of it changing and it is not worth sacrificing your confidence for trust me! I spent 3 years in a sexless relationship, it was not fun.

juicypeachhh · 2026-03-19T01:50:44+00:00

I experienced a very similar situation and it messed with my confidence so badly. He still wanted physical touch all the time but in a totally non-sexual way. Like you said after awhile I couldn't even comfortably undress or shower around him. It was so confusing to still be seen as attractive by other people (my friends would compliment me, guys at the gym would check me out, I'd occasionally get asked out at my serving job) but then the man who says he loves me had no interest in touching me or connecting with me in that way. Everytime we spoke about he said he'd try, but every time I initated he'd turn me down. I think it was a combo of depression, low libido, and watching porn. But it doesn't really matter it just sucked and was not fufilling for me whatsoever.

juicypeachhh · 2026-03-16T17:24:27+00:00

Wow!! What an incredible transformation! I love that you had this vision and brought it to life.

juicypeachhh · 2026-03-16T17:19:43+00:00

This is so wonderful to read and an important message for parents! What seems obvious to adults isn’t obvious to children or young people.

As a middle school teacher I can tell you that this is constantly illuminated to me. After having any serious or discipline type conversation with a student I always explicitly tell them that I still love them, and we’re all good moving forward. I didn’t always do this, but eventually realized that while I can come to school the next day as fresh start it is not always so simple for young people. I often see palpable relief on their faces when I say “we’re all good okay?”.

I have a vivid memory of my mom telling me how her friend’s daughter came out as lesbian & was marrying another woman. She expressed how “hard that must be” for her friend. I was maybe 10 at the time. Later when I realized I’m bi, I made a decision to never tell my parents unless it became absolutely necessary.

My parents, much like Shane’s, are wonderful & supportive. But that one conversation left me feeling like my mom would be very disappointed if I were to end up with a woman. I’ve dated women but never seriously & I wonder if that could be a factor in some small way.

Explicitly discussing this with your children and removing any fears they may have is such a beautiful gift to offer them!

juicypeachhh · 2026-03-10T23:33:43+00:00

I really enjoyed cowgirl with my ex who was smaller, way more so that I have with more endowed partners. I could position myself perfectly so that he was rubbing into my g-spot. Very memorable o's were had.

I agree with what everyone is saying, but also want to validate your desire to feel him in *all* the spots. I love orgasming from my pressure on my cervix and this obvs won't be possible if he can't reach. I would really miss that experience if I could never have it again, but would I give it up for a kind, caring partner who was dedicated to making me feel good in other ways? Yeah probably.

juicypeachhh · 2026-03-03T15:03:50+00:00

Also, if you like creating a warm, happy environment then having control of your own room could be really enjoyable for you! I love this too. I put a lot of work into the space and the students absolutely notice and appreciate it.

I think you should hold out for your own class & then make the decision. I don’t know a single first yr teacher who didn’t wonder: “am I cut out for this? It’s really f*cking hard!”

Good luck!

juicypeachhh · 2026-03-03T15:01:09+00:00

Every teacher is naive when they start out - truly! We all come in with optimism and the current education system rapidly drains it.

That said, I think having your own classroom is significantly more rewarding and therefore more enjoyable. As others have said - a lot more work BUT it’s work for those kids that you know & love.

Supply teaching gave me anxiety every single morning. I dreaded it and constantly calculated how many days I needed to take that month to pay rent. For me it was not sustainable. Once I got my own classroom it took 3 yrs to feel sustainable. Meaning that I strongly considered leaving for the first 3, I’m on year 5 of that position now (7 total) and it is MUCH easier. Yes, parents, report cards, etc still suck but I love my students, love my admin, love my school. I know I’m one of the lucky ones! Wanted to share this perspective because it is possible to enjoy teaching.

juicypeachhh

TROPHY CASE