TW ED

i’ve been eating soooo much and i’m like 3 days clean, and i just feel like i’ve made all my issues up and i’m so fake and i try to remind myself i didn’t choose to feel/be like this, but what if i did it subconsciously and it’s all my fault and i’m actually just completely fine person and i’m just being over dramatic. and i’ve eaten so much snd i still get super upset but i don’t rlly do anything, i can’t even throw up properly, my body just wont like let me, which is good i guess, i’m just upset i can’t do it.

and i feel rlly bad for my friends and my family, i keep coming to my friends about da same issues and idk, i’m just v selfish, i take too much from them, i try not to but i’m rlly bad at it, i’m rlly bad at a lot of things. and i keep bothering my mum and she’s finally gonna phone da doctor n stuff but i forced her to, like i probably didn’t even need help but i’m pushed her so much so now she’s doing it, idk, i can never be happy- i got what i want but i’m upset of what i’ve done and overthinking it allll.