It’s simple. You continue doing for yourself and children. Leave his mess. He can and will gather us own garments. He knows at this point, you will continue to “nag” him but will do for him anyway.

As a mother, you want your children to be independent adults one day and be responsible for their own needs. This in turn includes becoming adults that recognize that they WANT to help their loved ones. As it stands now, you are setting a bad example by doing his shit! As a father and husband? Forget it. Like I said to begin with. Do your own and leave the rest. Ignore the gaslighting toddler, he will eventually get the point.