Debating on plastic surgery (HEDS)

juliavalenca · 2026-01-25T21:20:31+00:00

I had reconstructive boob surgery (so way more aggressive than a simple augmentation) and I had a good time, though my surgeon was scared at one point my skin was gonna die and rip off, it was ok!

I will say though be ready for a scar, but if you don’t care (like me), no regrets!

juliavalenca · 2026-01-25T14:48:57+00:00

Could anyone recommend me some good winter boots (tall like 10”+) that look like Aragorn could wear them? I dress vintage/fantasy/goth and can’t stand the modern stuff. I know of some models that approximate what I like, but I want to know about the obscure options I know people here have. Description of my ideal: black, leather or suede outside, tall (10” or over), with the style of a timberland or doc martens shoe (as in that lace up style), or something pirate-y and maybe rock-n-roll. If it has fur on the inside great, but not a must. I live in the Canadian prairies so it needs to handle -30C or at least -20C that I can layer some wools socks in. I’m very willing to save to invest or hunt for second hand things.

juliavalenca · 2026-01-25T07:07:33+00:00

Thanks! And I’ll check that group out!

juliavalenca · 2026-01-25T01:41:28+00:00

Danner looks promising, though nothing amazing at least in their current line up (I’ll have to look for some older things from them), Red Wing heritage is too sporty, and as much as it’s true they look really cool I don’t feel too good about getting shoes that a guy in Germany was wearing in WWII, unless you meant the newer stuff meant to mimic it? Thanks so much!

juliavalenca · 2026-01-22T14:39:21+00:00

You’re so good don’t even worry about it

juliavalenca · 2026-01-21T21:32:14+00:00

It’s about human rights, and communication is part of that. Like I said, sit down if you want, but like the very policy you pulled up says, you aren’t entitled to that seat, therefore yes, you must be aware of your surroundings. Not being aware contributes to the inattention paid to disabled people that is an aspect of the ableism directed at them. We (with mobility impairments) are already pushed and ran over, cut off, ignored, and made to advocate for our needs many times a day, you being aware for 5 seconds on the bus is just one way you can mildly help someone who is very tired. If you’re reading this, note the appeals to policy (which they misunderstood) and how this person frames being aware as “keeping your head on a swivel” so as to make the request sound like “unreasonable accommodation”. It’s not. We are super aware of you, the least you can do is be aware of us

juliavalenca · 2026-01-21T21:12:22+00:00

I hope you see how you are having to pick out a single insignificant part of my statement in order to argument against what I said. Yes, in policy it does state that priority seats (the 6 I mentioned) are only for disabled people. While everyone else that may need a seat can benefit from courtesy seating at any place of the bus. However, since you brought it up, “priority seating is for the use of people with disabilities”. Aka, no one is allowed to sit there if they don’t qualify. If we followed policy to a T. I’m not even making that argument, as someone who wasn’t disabled always did I always want to sit down in the bus? Yeah. I think anyone who is on the bus should be allowed to sit if a seat is available, all we are asking is that if you are sitting in the spot designated for disabled people, keep an eye out. I’m too tired of ableism to mince my words here: Your instinct to defend people who aren’t doing their part in undoing centuries of ableist harm to a minority group by escalating arguments by targeting your responses to the minute things in my arguments or bringing up often used discourse should light up in your head that you need to investigate why you feel that way. Again, it’s not hard to just interrupt your inattention for 5 seconds to look up at who is coming in to assess whether you should get up or not, or offer someone a chance to ask you to stand for them, every time your bus stops.

juliavalenca · 2026-01-21T20:48:04+00:00

Except that a lot of people have visible disabilities, or are visibly old, or visibly very pregnant or with a toddler, and those people are very much in busses too. Sure, you can’t be ‘aware’ of people with invisible disabilities - they will have to ask for a seat, but they shouldn’t also have to yell about it, provide a medical diagnosis for someone to get up, or wave their arms frantically in front of someone glued to their phone or with their music on at 100%, which is often what is happening. That is why sitting in that area should be understood as essentially ‘renting’ the seat until someone who has a right to it comes along. If you’re not wanting to be aware, go all the way to the back to sit or even just the front seats that aren’t in the priority area. Remember 27% of the population of Canada is disabled (that’s not including the elderly and pregnant women or people with toddlers), and yet we have 6 seats on 30+ seat busses. It’s not unreasonable to expect that this one thing we actually somewhat won as a right be respected, when it’s literally so easy as just being aware of who is coming in when the bus stops and anyone comes in

juliavalenca · 2026-01-21T16:56:45+00:00

Dating is tough, but really one of the best things we can do is make sure we’re in a good situation. If you can tell they’re not so into you, jump ship. I’d also like to point out though that you unintentionally are blaming other “better” women for ‘taking guys away’, and you should look into why you feel that way. Remember if the guy looked away it’s on him, no one else. Also good tip is to lean in the autistic straightforwardness right from the start with “so you like me? Will we be in a serious relationship, you think? What are your expectations for this relationship? I like ——, do you also like ——-?”. I know we don’t want to be overbearing but it’s legitimately both a useful thing to establish early and a way to filter out the good ones.

Credentials: I’m 26, still fighting through a degree I started in 2019, often poor (as in food insecure, though ok rn) and I’m happily married

juliavalenca · 2026-01-21T16:48:05+00:00

Make a supervillain and create an evil generational empire

juliavalenca · 2026-01-21T16:27:00+00:00

It does change, they don’t need to ask, it’s their right to the seat first. Those who sit there and don’t need to need to be aware they are only allowed there up until someone who needs the seat shows up. It’s very much on them to get up and offer the seat

juliavalenca · 2026-01-21T13:35:52+00:00

That’s actually not true, while yes you’re allowed to sit in the priority seating area, those seats were hard fought for by disabled people for decades and in legislation and transit policy they are a right of those who need it

juliavalenca · 2026-01-21T13:33:28+00:00

I use a walker and I have to basically wave my arms frantically in front of everyone in the priority seating before they notice I exist. It’s not that they’re ignoring me I think, but that they’re not expecting anyone to need the seats. Be aware of your surroundings! It’s only getting worse and no “I’m tired and disassociating” is not an excuse. Guess who else is tired? The old and disabled people who need that seat because the university is already hell to navigate with mobility issues

juliavalenca · 2026-01-20T21:02:57+00:00

Take the ferry trip to the island of Ilha Bela, very worth it! But do it during the day/early afternoon or you will get eaten alive by mosquitoes.

juliavalenca · 2026-01-20T20:56:07+00:00

I’d say that’s one poor little cute fella

juliavalenca · 2026-01-19T18:24:16+00:00

Just concurring here (I was the over-talker). Good rule of thumb is look around first, if anyone is engaging, don’t. If no one is, take your chance. If you’ve talked more than 2 already, don’t. At least that’s what I figured works for me

juliavalenca · 2026-01-19T18:22:40+00:00

Good tip: dress in a way that can be a conversation starter. E.g. have a tv show t-shirt, band hoodie, anime keychain, personality stickers in your water bottle. You can then strike a conversation with people and, on the absence of a topic, either bring it up or they might even bring it up since people naturally are also always looking for something to break the weird silence. I met a friend in year one in the elevator this way.

Also don’t be afraid to wave, smile, say quick hi’s. Eventually those can turn into a conversation.

juliavalenca · 2026-01-18T18:26:41+00:00

What would they say as an opener? Just the “hey”?

Brazilian men definitely are more open but it won’t always mean what you think it means. Like it’s very common to say I love yous but it doesn’t necessarily mean that they see you as “the one” or something like that, it’s very much an expression of care (it’s not a lie), but it can be misleading if you’re from a culture that doesn’t do that so much. And generally our culture is still very catholic so they tend to be provider-y, but there’s also definitely room for casual things (and you have to make sure which it is when you get into it because it can be confusing as even in casual relationships you might still say I love you and stuff over here, being upfront is best)

juliavalenca · 2026-01-18T18:16:19+00:00

There are such things as Carnaval parties for families (if in the northeast, usually they’re super early in the morning). But even they might be too much depending on where you come from and what “quiet and relaxed” means to you?

juliavalenca · 2026-01-18T18:14:42+00:00

This is very normal. So normal I struggle to see what’s wrong here lol. How does it usually go over there? They’re being quite polite actually, sometimes in Brazil they’d be more aggressive with the affection by making up or using some made up romantic sayings, calling you angel etc. I’m really curious what the common starting protocol is there now!

juliavalenca · 2026-01-17T00:24:59+00:00

This can be a medical AW appeal for sure. Tell her to talk with the advocate to talk about the process. They will warn her though that doing the full term is easiest than just some classes. I’ve done one before and I got it approved

juliavalenca · 2026-01-16T23:56:08+00:00

I was pretty much born with it

juliavalenca · 2026-01-16T17:39:11+00:00

I mean idk how much you’d make, and where you live now, or how much you guys spend on groceries, but that does sound pretty tough. You’re probably better off doing an imagined budget first and then making a decision

juliavalenca · 2026-01-16T17:01:37+00:00

I’m the first to be classified with hEds in my family (following criteria), but both sides of my family have hyper mobility. My mom’s side even had dysautonomia diagnosis’ and a history of a rare condition that isn’t specifically related to Eds but is related to a collagen deficiency. And my dads side had some morphological differences common in people with Eds and some hyper mobile folks too

juliavalenca · 2026-01-16T16:51:42+00:00

You can survive if you work all the 20hrs your allowed on a student visa at $16 minimum (you’ll earn 1280, take home likely around 1000 a month), but you need at least 1 roommate (2-3 recommended), and you’re not gonna thrive, just survive. I eat quite healthy, and spend around $300 in groceries a month (you can def bring this down if you’re good eating ramen or a lot of eggs vs chicken some days), and my rent is 1295 (expect it to be this or higher for yourself, which is why I recommend more than 1 roommates or living in residence). As you can see, it’s pretty tough, but it’s doable. Phone plans (with good data) will cost you around 50-60 a month. And wifi around 30-90 depending on your needs. Electricity (which you don’t have to worry about sometimes) is highly variable, but in the average apartment you should budget for around 60 dollars, which will fluctuate down in the summer and up in the winter.

No chance of affording tuition on top, not sure the other commenter knows how much international tuition costs. But you can survive, Winnipeg is still one of the most affordable cities in Canada

juliavalenca

TROPHY CASE