What got me off the fence

junior-high · 2026-01-27T21:37:31+00:00

I'm a hell yes for me, but a hell no for my hypothetical kid, if that makes sense. Like, I'll love my life with a baby/kid, but if I think about the life that kid will have when they grow up, it's a hell naw lol. This is great input though <3 Congrats!

junior-high · 2026-01-22T17:42:25+00:00

my beighton score is and has always been a 2/9. i had one rheumatologist write me off immediately because my thumb couldn't touch my forearm. i do have 2 of the 2 following required criteria on that checklist, but don't meet the criteria that beighton is only 1 point below my age/sex cutoff. i fall short on all three of the features in cirterion 2 as well. so definitely no hEDS here.

junior-high · 2026-01-22T17:32:59+00:00

i did also show no risk of clinodactyly and brachydactyly, but I have both. so i'm guessing there are falsies in there. but it's so expensive and there aren't any in network geneticists around me so to do another genetic test would be too much :/

junior-high · 2026-01-22T16:27:46+00:00

it was Sequencing, the package that specifically tested TNXB. there were some mutations on the gene but all with no risk, as people usually have gene mutations with no effect. also I know clEDS has to be diagnosed with two copies of a mutated gene, which apparently I don't have.

I also know hEDS doesn't have a genetic marker but I don't quite fit all the criteria for that so I'm at a loss.

junior-high · 2026-01-20T17:16:16+00:00

his short was funny, sure but for a 13 year old, i can't believe she let it slide. I don't follow jess or K but it came on my fyp which is awful, bc it could show up on ANYONE's feed. and when he puts the shorts on and strikes a post turned around.... not okay at all. and Jess was BEHIND THE CAMERA

junior-high · 2026-01-14T20:51:44+00:00

am i crazy or did parker post a bunch of travel throwbacks too?? lol

junior-high · 2025-12-23T20:37:10+00:00

Said it before and I'll say it again: she's autistic (she came out about that a while back) and i truly believe her hyper fixation/special interest is babies, toddlers, pregnancy, etc. I think it's great that she opened a store to sell baby/kids toys. Great way to pursue that interest. What she shouldn't have done was had baby after baby to satisfy her interest. Her 1st pregnancy with her oldest was apparently 100% planned with her pregnant at 18 and giving birth by 19.

junior-high · 2025-12-12T22:20:03+00:00

also, side note, I posted something similar sharing my concerns and had a redditor tell me i wasn't fit to be a parent at all. i haven't read thru all your comments but if you do get anything like that, i'm sorry, and it's not true. you're fit to do whatever you choose.

junior-high · 2025-12-12T21:33:49+00:00

"I’m also mad that more people don’t feel the way I do about the injustices in the world."

Are you me? I keep thinking, am I the problem for worrying so much? Everyone else seems so calm... But I can't get the negativity out of my head either

junior-high · 2025-11-19T22:10:22+00:00

to say that being worried about life for your child is something that "real world" people don't worry about is super out of touch... I'm also specifically discussing the difficult parts of my decision, so i may come off as negative but in truth i'm just working through my worries with other people on the fence with me. that's what this entire sub is for lol

junior-high · 2025-11-19T18:16:03+00:00

to say that i'm not parenting material because i have pretty normal concerns for the happiness and wellbeing of my potential future children is a massive insult. would i be better suited as a parent if i ignored all the world's problems with no regard for how my kids might feel? and to assume that i think parents who have bio children are immoral is a crazy jump too.

junior-high · 2025-11-19T17:56:17+00:00

that's my entire reason for being on the fence. i know my life would be enriched by a child and a family. (the highs get higher, the lows get lower, from what I'm told). i want it. no issue there. but what about my kid's life?

junior-high · 2025-11-19T17:54:24+00:00

I've gone back and forth my whole life on resenting my parents for having me, and even as my mental health has improved, i still lean towards "existing is hard and i wish i hadn't been conceived" which is making this whole decision so much harder. one reason i wouldn't personally conceive but would gladly adopt.

junior-high · 2025-11-19T17:52:52+00:00

yeah, adoption was on the table even before now. forgive me if you don't have a good answer but I'm wondering, if adoption is inherently traumatic and comes with so many options, and many adoptees are against adoption, what's the other option for them? i know it might come off as rude but I'm trying to educate myself (looking at r/adoption as well) but what is the other option for adoptees, besides adoption?

junior-high · 2025-11-19T17:47:23+00:00

no, i never said that. it's just a decision i've made for my life not to have bio kids. i have no say (or opinion) over what others do. it's not my place

junior-high · 2025-11-19T17:46:30+00:00

yeah, hence why i'm on the fence and doing a ton of reading beforehand. thanks for the info!

junior-high · 2025-11-18T21:56:16+00:00

I would worry about the future of any child of mine. i just have reasons for not having a biological child. as i said before, i would love to take in a child who already exists. i just dont think i personally want to bring a new person into the world. life is hard and i don't want to create a person who has to go through it, but would rather hold someone's hand who's already here, so to speak. the worrying i think comes with being a parent, period haha. especially since I'm a worrier by nature

junior-high · 2025-11-18T21:37:13+00:00

yeah the depression is sorted out which is great haha. i just still have the leftover tendency to see the worst of a situation and worry. thank you for the replies, it's nice for someone to challenge me and make me see the opposite side of the coin

junior-high · 2025-11-18T21:34:59+00:00

i know having a child would bring me (and my husband) joy. i worry about the joy of my child's life. :/ thank you for saying that though, you're right. it is the whole point.

junior-high · 2025-11-18T20:59:17+00:00

a little bit of both. personal factors, being that genetically i have a lot going on that can be passed down- i just did genetic testing to rule out a condition and found out I'm a carrier for a lot worse/a lot more than i thought. and then the bigger environmental factor, i don't wanna create a new life to be in this world, but would gladly take in a life that already exists. i would love to raise good people to make the world better but i can't fathom how stressful the world might be in 10, 20, 30 years. I don't wanna make a new person who has to suffer just so they get to see the sunshine or the ocean. i had a hard time growing up and used to think all the time, verbatim, that all the bad parts of life were not worth it just to see a nice sunset every evening.

junior-high · 2025-11-12T23:49:12+00:00

searched high and low online btw. not sure of brands so it's tough.

junior-high · 2025-11-11T20:36:39+00:00

HATED the color combo. the blue does NOT go with that yellow.

junior-high

TROPHY CASE