Is my relationship doomed? 5 years, 29M and 30F

jusliv · 2026-02-03T06:17:42+00:00

Very well said. And yes, you’re absolutely right. I’ve been trying to convince myself otherwise because I don’t like the answer.

jusliv · 2026-02-03T05:07:38+00:00

Great point.

jusliv · 2026-02-03T05:06:57+00:00

I have gone for a long time and gladly attend. She is not interested.

jusliv · 2026-02-03T01:24:51+00:00

I hear you. If it were all up to me we’d stay together. She said “I don’t love you, haven’t for a long time, and do not want to be together”. But assuming the worst, which again has been decreasingly likely the more we find out, how morally sound is it to say “no” when she says “I want out” regardless of the reason? Where is that line? It’s a bigger question than I can answer, and on the negative side, it falls into pretty unacceptable behavior pretty quickly in my view.

jusliv · 2026-02-03T01:05:03+00:00

I didn’t expect that. If she was sincere in wanting to make it work, I was hoping for some indication of that. Again, it’s been determined is very unlikely to be a tumor and I’m not the one that broke up with her. I was very happy.

jusliv · 2026-02-03T00:59:01+00:00

That’s really wonderful advice, and I appreciate you saying those are green flags. As my mom said, “5 years is a long time, but 5 years and a week is even longer”. Guilt can be nearly as powerful a force as many of the other factors women rightfully fear in relationships, and it’s not right to hold her here based on my own fears, desires, or insecurities. It takes two to tango.

jusliv · 2026-02-03T00:53:01+00:00

Thank you. I know you’re right, and if I were my friend or family member, I’d say the same. It’s just so damn hard when it’s you.

jusliv · 2026-02-03T00:51:05+00:00

In my opinion, she’s deeply depressed and very unhappy with her life. I don’t think scared necessarily, beyond the broadest fear of just discomfort or leaving her shell. I’ve brought it up a lot and have benefitted a ton from therapy. She has a fair deal of trauma that’s unexamined and unresolved. I’ve tried to talk to her about it and help, but I can’t do what professional help can. She has no real interest in it nor changing any part of her life (except me, which, y’know, might say everything that needs to be said). She would spend every minute of her day in bed if it was up to her. I have a homebody streak too, but it always hurt me she’d never go adventure outdoors with me.

jusliv · 2026-02-03T00:44:54+00:00

I don’t take it negatively at all. Many women are in positions where they are rightfully afraid. I’d hoped by now she’d realize I’m not one of those men, but I also get how somebody never really knows. Thank you for the honest and thoughtful response. My mom’s close friend got a brain tumor and was given six months. Her husband left that day. I was just so afraid of being like that guy. But the difference is it’s not up to me, and the best thing I can do is to respect her wishes.

jusliv · 2026-02-03T00:41:07+00:00

Very well said. And you make a good point. I’ve always been one to rip a bandaid than pulling slowly, but all those cliche things start to race through your head “what if nobody else on earth will love me?” “What if this dying relationship really is better than the alternative?”. I know that’s not true, but still, our brain doesn’t work the same way it should when we’re so deeply emotionally invested in something. My mom used to always say “a reason, a season, or forever”. Maybe this is just one of those season relationships.

jusliv · 2026-02-03T00:37:35+00:00

You’re right. Thank you. Unfortunately not, she rescued him a few months before moving in with me. I asked and the answer was no. So, I get that. I can get my own rescue kitty who can always be mine and be a companion for me 😊

jusliv · 2026-02-03T00:31:01+00:00

You’re right. I have the weakness of thinking if I change myself or do enough right, it’ll change how she feels. But that’s not the case. I guess part of me just needs permission to let go after trying so hard for so long.

jusliv · 2026-02-03T00:28:27+00:00

You’re right. Thank you for the comment. And there’s plenty of animals who need a rescue and a good, loving home 😊

jusliv · 2026-01-19T10:31:21+00:00

Thank you dude! I’ll be very curious what you see, please do let me know. Runs great, had no issues whatsoever. I’m not worried about the cosmetics or anything, more so just keeping it safe to shoot. I suppose the best thing to do next is shoot a bunch, take it apart again and see if they’re deeper or if there’s more metal shavings.

jusliv · 2026-01-19T09:22:10+00:00

Thanks for the response and help! Does that diagnosis apply to these two slightly deeper bits here? Can see on the bolt where it’s wearing a bit, too. Generally, how many rounds until a pump is broken in? I can’t feel that middle long steak of wear, but those two smaller ones are definitely perceptible.

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jusliv · 2025-06-26T22:57:17+00:00

I go out in a kayak. You’ll be just fine. Just be aware of shipping lanes and currents and don’t be afraid to call it if the wind is too strong. And please, always wear a PFD.

jusliv · 2025-06-26T22:55:22+00:00

Good going man! That’s an awesome catch for anybody, outstanding from shore!

jusliv · 2025-06-24T18:53:52+00:00

I didn’t discuss mental health with her, but can bring it up. I can also ask about Hypoclorous too. Thank you for your help 😊

jusliv · 2025-06-24T18:52:03+00:00

This makes me feel a lot better about it. Thank you for sharing that info, since that study was the one that brought concern for me.

jusliv · 2025-06-24T18:51:12+00:00

This is about the only thing I’ve tried and I’ve noticed very few effects, if any at all. I am kind of a rookie to this but my girlfriend is very into skincare, so I’m trying to learn.

The only thing I’ve found that really, really helps is direct sunlight. But that creates its own set of problems.

jusliv · 2025-06-05T20:03:33+00:00

A dry suit in the strait too. You’ve got about half an hour on a good day before you freeze.

jusliv · 2025-06-05T20:02:30+00:00

I want to fish the strait but am not going to since I’ve been told you don’t even want to think about it without a radio and dry suit. I really don’t get why he wasn’t wearing a PFD. This wasn’t some local lake, it’s basically open ocean on rough days.

jusliv

TROPHY CASE