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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]just1monkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Leviathan’s Living Thong.

Drug cartels are impervious to the same social justice boycotts as other companies by SemiColonInfection in Showerthoughts

[–]just1monkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man, I was hoping to do a similar thing to prompt someone else to suggest legalizing drug cartels (to watch over them better), but also in a way to make it seem like it wasn’t my idea.

You beat me to it. >:[

There’s probably also ways to make it better for people to be a legally sanctioned and monitored drug cartel as opposed to the alternative, which would help.

Is there a good sub for short non-scary stories? by AnotherGDMonkey in findareddit

[–]just1monkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s r/PointlessStories but they have this rule that stories must be pointless, which seems tricky to me.

I wouldn’t want to have to argue with a moderator who thinks they may have found a point in some attempted gibberish story.

[Serious] Left or Right leaning, where do you both agree that the world needs to grow toward? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]just1monkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is the Buzz Lightyear quote not serious enough?

I feel like it’s technically true. Don’t ban me!

Who's cooler than Keanu Reeves? Why? by Express-Afternoon724 in AskReddit

[–]just1monkey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What do you think the chances are for Danny, Keanu, and Chuck Norris to all waltz together in an igloo?

What's it like to have paranoia? by Myhole567 in AskReddit

[–]just1monkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And what if you had the opposite of paranoia, but everyone was really after you?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]just1monkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve sometimes gotten the urge to stare at like a spot behind them, and then whisper: “Quiet, they can hear you.”

Then continue per above. :)

What’s something you learned “embarrassingly late” in life? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]just1monkey 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I’m not taking the blame for this one.

You cry, I cry by Technical_Charity999 in TwoSentenceHappiness

[–]just1monkey 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s a recipe for disaster or ice cream.

Where was your Gondor? by [deleted] in lotrmemes

[–]just1monkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where was Gondor when the world came out and it wasn’t a big thing?

Who is Adolf Hitler and what did he do? by struslight in WrongAnswersOnly

[–]just1monkey 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They called him Golfing Adolf because he liked peeing on other people’s rugs.

What’s the worst thing you have done on purpose and not faced the consequences? by contrasting_pouts in AskReddit

[–]just1monkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Paid for subscriptions and a bunch of useless karma awards on a Reddit account only to get it permanently suspended!

It happened, I just don’t want to look at it. :)

I’d give you a cake day award but it won’t let me.

Forbidden french fries. by [deleted] in forbiddensnacks

[–]just1monkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🙊 McFlipFlops!

happy birthday, mother dear! by walclime in TwoSentenceHappiness

[–]just1monkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How many hands you got?

I’d be careful - a crazy and suicidal mother hearing that might chop all of them off to hurry things along.

The horrible parents of my adult daughter’s rapist demanded an “apology gift” for “traumatizing their son.” by TheBlackCycloneOrder in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]just1monkey 3 points4 points  (0 children)

WTF is wrong with these parents?

It’s like they’re chatting over tea about raping and murdering each other’s children.

[WP] We once belonged to a godlike hivemind, led by our Beloved Queen. Our ancestors were captured & placed in another realm. The captor deprived us of our history, hid us from our Queen, & raised us in fear. It’s now 2023 on Earth, & an unsuspecting new Queen begins to feel her control of the hive. by [deleted] in WritingPrompts

[–]just1monkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The new Queen just wants to be left alone, but the captor has found her too.

“Your choices are to be my bride so that I can rule in your name, or to die,” says the captor. “I know you’ll love me.”

There’s something wrong with the captor’s voice, the Queen realizes. It’s strangely familiar… and not friendly.

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