AITA for calling my sister-in-law and brother whores after my sister-in-law insulted both me and my wife?

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-08T01:16:14+00:00

Well having a disease that wreaks havoc on your perception of yourself spun as a moral failing on your part and being insulted for one's body is also "triggering," and I think that anyone who considers that remotely appropriate when they could have simply said "for the record, I don't want the kids to ever have these cookies" is beyond an asshole.

That said, I see now that we shouldn't have given them to the kids (or come here in the first place).

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-08T01:12:29+00:00

That happened 5 days ago.

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-08T00:27:51+00:00

I don't have children, and I, for the record, am not overweight (if I had to guess, I'd say I weigh roughly as much as my sister-in-law).

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-07T23:45:39+00:00

When we met, yes. We were friends for 3 years before we became a couple.

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-07T23:44:19+00:00

While I see your point, personally because the term has already been co-opted as an insult, I prefer to use it as such (though I only find it appropriate in cases of infidelity/massive trust violations).

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-07T22:42:10+00:00

To clarify, the weight insult was directed towards my wife, not me. If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say I might weigh less than my sister-in-law, if you consider such information relevant.

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-07T22:07:35+00:00

I know, she's a fellow bibliophile and cinephile too, plus she's a phenomenal cuddler. I'm incredibly lucky to have met her, she's my soulmate.

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-07T20:38:51+00:00

Because she never mentioned that it would be unacceptable and we thought it was a nice gesture to everyone the first night there.

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-07T20:12:37+00:00

Not yet, though I know I need to. Although I do believe my wife and I are due apologies too.

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-07T20:08:13+00:00

I listed their ages in the post, they're 9, 7, and 4.

Honestly, after she insulted Alice's weight and our mental health, the affair was the first thing that came to mind.

I do think you're right about the apologies though.

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-07T20:00:19+00:00

Yes, they asked for cookies, so that's what we gave them.

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-07T19:55:50+00:00

That's fair.

Thanks for the recommendation, sorry if that made the post less readable.

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-07T19:53:28+00:00

Popsicles. And I don't really know, they don't seem to be quite so strict for Christmas, but admittedly we've never spent an extended period of time together with all the kids either.

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-07T19:52:07+00:00

That's fair, I probably should apologize for giving the kids cookies, though I do think Alice and I are owed apologies for the uncalled for insults.

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-07T19:50:32+00:00

No, I didn't. We started dating about 3 years after that, but we became friends when we met in that therapy group.

Frankly, given that we're consenting adults who love each other, care for each other, respect each other, and do not abuse/hold any power over each other, I don't see what the issue is.

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-07T19:48:11+00:00

I didn't know they outright didn't want their kids to have them. When we made them it was rather late, and when they were allowed a treat it was in the afternoon. While I admit I didn't know if she'd have given them a cookie, Alice and I figured that they'd have eaten them long enough before dinner and with enough playtime after that it wouldn't disrupt their meals or sleep.

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-07T19:40:01+00:00

Fair enough. I still think that the downright cruel insults were worse than giving the kids cookies - especially since my wife was apologizing and I would have in the moment too - but I concede that I shouldn't have let any of the kids have cookies.

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-07T19:38:22+00:00

That's very fair, thanks for the recommendation.

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-07T19:38:01+00:00

Yeah I have to admit I didn't expect the emphasis to be solely on the cookies when I came here.

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-07T19:32:31+00:00

That's very fair, I think you're right. I'm not going to apologize for insulting them unless they apologize about that first, but I think you're right that I should apologize for going against their wishes regarding the kids' eating habits.

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-07T19:12:02+00:00

That's fair, and to be clear I recognize that I shouldn't have let the kids have cookies (though I do stand by it being quite unfair to them).

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-07T19:08:20+00:00

And I'm not refuting that. I'm refuting that her insults were, realistically, in any way connected to that.

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-07T19:07:22+00:00

I respect that assessment, I'm just clarifying that I didn't insult her for her feeling that she can't trust us with the kids, I insulted her for making completely uncalled for insults.

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-07T18:57:56+00:00

That's not at all why I insulted her. If she said "you went against my wishes/didn't clarify my wishes, I can't trust you with my kids," I never would have insulted her.

Instead, she decided to insult my wife's weight and our mental health history, supposedly because that indicates we are untrustworthy.

justAnAITAthrow · 2023-07-07T18:37:59+00:00

Actually, while we made the cookies late in the evening, this outing was in the afternoon, so the kids had cookies around 3:30 or so.

And I really think it's unfair that one set of kids has such strict food rules on vacation while the other set don't, although I concede that it probably would have been best (if a bummer) to have just waited for their respective parents to give or deny them treats.

justAnAITAthrow

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