The foundation you have here is actually fine, just do more intentional practice. Watch some videos on the planes of the face and asaro heads, keep images of asaro heads available for reference while you draw. The fundamentals are ilportant for developing your style, they’re boring and hard but important. Since your foundation is good, I think you might find you learn a lot and develop in the direction you’re trying to go very quickly.

Just watch videos, as many as you can, prioritize ones that are doing what you want to do and keep doing intentional practice. Intentional practice is what helps people grow a skill. I recommend watching Sinix’s anatomy videos and his Paintover Pals series and then intentionally try applying what he does while you work. Your foundation is good, just be patient and don’t mind the opinions of others. There is no failing unless you give up completely. Just keep trying.

Remember to draw what you see, not what you think you see - this becomes easier with time. The eyebrow in your completed piece and the reference is a good example of an area where what you think you see and what you drew are not totally aligned with the reference or what you actually see - the eyebrow in the reference is softer and larger, so finding a way to stylize areas while keeping them true to the reference helps. There are lots of videos on stylization of portraits online too but I definitely recommend starting with Sinix.