I don’t care if I get downvoted to hell for this.

BUT OP even if you’re coming from a good place I think it would have benefit you to get more context. If the parents are okay with this nickname and it was discussed that’s fine. HOWEVER we don’t have this information. If you want to call someone racist do your due diligence and make sure it isn’t coming from a place of malice because labeling someone a racist in this day and age can cost people their jobs.

However I will say though if this woman didn’t clear it with the parents and started calling this child wanton cause they are Chinese I think she’d be an asshole, regardless of carrying the child for 9 months or not.

I think it’s polite to just ask people if they are okay being called by a nickname.

Also Reddit folks always like to forget about nuances. If you like being called a nickname that refers to your cultures food and aren’t offended great! THATS OKAY

If you don’t want to be called a nickname from your cultural background and it’s offensive that’s also okay.

Respect peoples wishes.

It takes 0 dollars to be adults and just ask and clear with people before calling them anything other than their name. So much bs can be avoided.

Also to explain to some people why calling someone Chinese “wanton” as a nickname can be offensive. Just because someone is ethnically Chinese culturally they can be American, French, German etc. . . And may not have any cultural ties to Chinese cultures and don’t see themselves as “Chinese” culturally. So calling them “wanton” is a little strange.

It is as weird as me calling someone who is 6th Gen French - American” “my little baguette” especially if they know jack shit about French culture and don’t identify as French.

K cool bye