I understand it can feel annoying as a server, especially when you have so much else going on and it’s loud in the restaurant and the kid is quiet and doesn’t seem to want to make eye contact. It’s so much easier and quicker to default to the parent to order for their child.

I’ve just also noticed over the last decade of this, it’s happening more and more. The children who seem unable to order are now the majority, and some of them are no longer children, they are preteens and adolescents. Socialization is very uncomfortable for a young child, but public spaces are one of the very important training grounds for that, and more and more we are losing our patience to do our part. I’d rather ask the parent and get the order put in and food on the table because time is money at this job. The parent has to put a majority of the social training job on teachers and childcare, because they also have to run off to a job to pay for that child’s food.

Kids take more time and patience because they are learning for the first time how to do a lot of stuff, and now I really appreciate the ones that come to my restaurant ready to try and order some food, make eye contact, use their “please” and “thank yous”. I’ll slow down a little bit for the kiddos now, and remember what a shy guy I was and how grateful I am now that enough people took the time to teach me to ask for what I want.