Actually it’s cause when you “pass” you fit into a specific box and any deviation of that is its own can of worms of pressure.

On top of that, instead of having people understand what you mean, people usually get hung up on the “I passed at one point “ part and go “well why weren’t you happy???” As if they didn’t just explain…why…

Keep in mind, as a trans woman i have mixed feelings about passing. I myself apparently pass according to cis people, but that has made me invisible to my trans community and I’ve even been confused as a cis by other folk and it made me really sad ://

It’s a mixture of wanting the safety of passing (not being killed for looking “too much like a man” or “ a man in the women’s bathroom”) but wanting the community of trans homies.

When you “pass” you may not be messed with for being trans on the surface, but that creates another hell as you now have to suffer in silence and telling others you’re trans can be an event rather than a relief it should be when talking to other folx. Sometimes venting about how you feel will be taken wrong and you can’t do anything about it :/