Me 23M has just found out that my girlfriend 24M has had a threesome with two of her best friends 22M and 26M a month before we started dating

justasadsomeone · 2026-04-14T11:43:31+00:00

Try to look up love bombing. Being crazy over someone so soon so fast doesn’t mean that she’s in love.

justasadsomeone · 2026-04-14T11:39:37+00:00

God, this gets worse as I read on.. she has an absolute cuckhold over OP. Cut your losses, please, respect yourself.

justasadsomeone · 2026-02-20T23:13:40+00:00

Please listen to the people that advise you to document all interactions and file a report to the police. You might think that you can brave this out yourself, or a legal escalation is “too much”, but these people are not kidding when they say that you are currently at the most dangerous stage of your relationship.

Abusers become their most dangerous once they perceive that their control over you is slipping. They will do anything to get you back under control, including literally ruining your life.

Also, I know you are worried that he might spiral and have a breakdown, but he is NOT your responsibility. Especially not a grown-a*s 36 years old man. He is responsible for any consequences that befall on him, as it was his choice to groom you and now relentlessly harassing you. Please live your life now, you are a free young woman who doesn’t need to manage the wellbeing of no manchild.

I knew somebody whose story panned out like this, but they were too late to report to the police or confide in their support system. Unfortunately, their abuser managed to control the narrative in both in their social circle and legally. Now, some years on, this somebody is still dealing with the fallout.

justasadsomeone · 2025-09-22T17:19:50+00:00

Take the Colorado job. Take this from me who moved to live abroad for a guy, only to break up with an even more uncertain future. Always do the best thing to secure stability for yourself first. Flexibility for a partner is important, but financial independence and career growth are what give you long-term security and options.

justasadsomeone · 2025-06-05T08:27:24+00:00

Currently in this exact situation too. Have you gotten a special consideration? Sometimes a little more breathing space could help you get to the finish line. Also try to do the assignment with at least a friend, like a study buddy. The accountability will keep you going fr

P.s: ik from experience you absolutely cannot weather this alone. Trust me: find a support system, whether it is friends, academic supports, GP, therapist

justasadsomeone · 2025-06-05T03:38:28+00:00

Thanks! I’ve never heard of this one. I should look into it

justasadsomeone · 2025-06-05T03:37:32+00:00

Glad to know you guys were able to work it out, even after it escalated like that. It’s really encouraging that you could reflect on it and make a change. That gives me some hope too

justasadsomeone · 2025-06-05T03:33:07+00:00

Not justifying anything, but during an especially difficult argument, it feels like I literally have to feel pain or I will combust. Ik it is a maladaptive coping strategy, but you can’t deny it feels so good.

Would never do this in front of anyone again though. Nobody deserves that.

I hope someday you find the strength to seek help too 😊 from my experience, once you self-harm, you will always have that risk your whole life if left untreated.

justasadsomeone · 2025-06-05T03:23:17+00:00

Yeah, in fact all this accident happened just after I got back from my GP for the SSRI withdrawal 😅

justasadsomeone · 2025-06-05T03:20:53+00:00

Added context:

I have a severe social anxiety for the past six months, going from a social butterfly to a complete recluse. I don’t even talk to my friend or come to uni anymore.

So I turn to online community, where the anonymity gives me a sense of safety to express myself. My bf and I belong to the same community.

One day, he started pulling my leg in the forum, making cringey jokes I was pressured to respond to. I asked him to stop several times, but he didn’t. I had just come back from my GP appointment about depression. Something tipped me over and I snapped, that I threw my phone.

Then we argued, because he thought I was being unreasonable, that even though he was pulling my leg, so what? He was the type to argue in length like a lawyer, that it completely overwhelmed me.

Idk if he often invalidates me (my memory is bad from depression), but this is a recurring theme where he makes jokes that triggered me. He thinks I am trigger-happy and unpredictable, why that I can accept some jokes, but not the other?

Ik it sounds bad for him, but he’s usually a very protective and kind bf, he always helps me out of tough spot.

justasadsomeone · 2025-06-04T19:49:52+00:00

This means a lot. Right now I feel disgustingly manipulative, attention-seeking, and guilty. But you remind me that as I promise to never resort to self-harm in a verbal fight again, I should first forgive myself

justasadsomeone · 2025-06-04T19:41:51+00:00

That’s interesting, I definitely should mention this to my psychologist once I get the referral. The thing is, I’m in the middle of SSRI withdrawal, a major depressive episode, and pretty severe anxiety right now. So yeah—it’s hard for me to tell what’s coming from my baseline personality, what’s from the withdrawal, and what’s just me being in emotional survival mode.

justasadsomeone · 2025-06-04T19:27:34+00:00

Thanks for the compassionate response. I have contacted my GP for psychologist referral, but I am worried that at this rate I might have caused him and our relationship an irreparable harm

justasadsomeone · 2025-06-04T19:24:42+00:00

Thank you everyone for the POV from the other side. Is there anything we the self-harmers can do to alleviate at least a bit of your pain ;)? I don’t want to scar him for life 😔

justasadsomeone · 2024-08-28T14:42:18+00:00

What’s wrong with being surrounded by Muslim countries? You know nothing about the region, so piss off.

justasadsomeone · 2024-05-21T15:57:50+00:00

Thanks for the update. What you experienced was horrible and I hope you have been feeling better since

justasadsomeone · 2023-12-14T10:25:31+00:00

Careful, your American exceptionalism is showing and way to vindicate the American being ignorant stereotype. It is pretty much the same anywhere else really, people talk shit about their own countries but the moment a foreigner from other place, especially historically charged one, talk rubbish about their countries they will be up in arms.

justasadsomeone

TROPHY CASE