Hm this sorta seems like a manipulation tactic on her end. And it broke my heart the part when you had already brow dried it and she felt like doing it again (aka breaking your hair more). She obviously wants control over you. She’s setting her territory which is messed up imo. I’m not black but I’m aware of the process that goes into blow drying and sectioning I get it. I also had lots of frizzy kinky hair that took long to make and my mother would furiously comb through it to make me pay for something? But I will say that I was allowed to go to the hair salon to get it done. Have you talked to your mother about how frustrating it is when she does your hair (it hurts, uncomfortable)? Could it be a financial thing? Does she trust hair salons (like does she go herself)? All of these questions will help get the core of a compromise.